


Can't Take the Sky

by saucyminx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-24
Updated: 2010-07-24
Packaged: 2017-10-28 04:56:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 50,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/303971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam’s brought to yet another foster home but this time he finds a friend. Of course, he also finds an enemy and something other-worldy he wasn’t quite prepared to accept. (Non-brothers)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam wrapped his arms around his back pack and pulled it further back onto his lap. Another spring, another birthday coming soon and he'd be fifteen years old. Not that it would make any difference at all to the _system_. Sam was starting to believe all the stories that other kids had told him - once you got in the system that was it, you didn't get out until you were eighteen. Some kids got adopted when they were little, some of them found permanent placements but most, like Sam, moved around from foster home to foster home.

There had been some good places. Sam's last place with the Johnsons had been okay. Mrs. Johnson baked a lot of cookies and Mr. Johnson was okay if Sam remembered not to talk to him before he'd had his coffee in the morning. The problem was Bobby Manus and if Sam was actually big enough he would have beat the crap out of him. Bobby was constantly trying to get Sam in shit with the Johnsons because he didn't like him. Sam had never figured out why except that Bobby said Sam's floppy hair and stupid sideways grin annoyed him.

Blinking as he stared out the window, Sam watched as the car turned down onto a residential street. There were lots of big Oak trees and even a park. Sighing, Sam shifted his backpack up again. Everything he owned was stuffed into that bag and Sam was never very far away from it. He couldn't stand the idea that he might lose it - or that someone might go through it.

He was jolted from his thoughts when the car rolled to a stop in front of a two story house. It was bright blue and had a fenced garden. There was no dog - Sam could tell by how clean the yard was. He was always hoping that the next place might have a dog but it never seemed to happen.

The case worker walked Sam up to the front door of the house. Her hand was warm on his shoulder but Sam knew she didn't really care about him, well, not anymore than she did about the other kids she worked with. As long as everyone was quiet and happy and no one complained; that would make her day great.

She pushed Sam through the door in front of her when it opened and started talking right away to his new foster parents. Mr. and Mrs. Wendell. _Just call us Jane and Brian_. Nodding, Sam stood by the door clutching his backpack listening to the usual routine; he was given the rules of the house: no running inside, clean up after yourself, only one hour of TV a day, homework before any fun time. Sam nodded again, looking around the living room. It was pretty tidy, nothing seemed like it was out of place which was usually a bad sign. He'd be doing lots of chores at this place.

His eyes drifted back to _Brian_. He was tall, dark hair and eyes and a cold smile. It was one of those smiles that didn't change his eyes at all. Sucking on his bottom lip, Sam decided to stay away from Brian if he could, hell, he'd just stay out of everyone's way - that was usually the best way to deal with a new home.

Brian stood and said he would take Sam to his room, excusing himself. "Come on, Samuel." His voice was deep and kind of made the hair on the back of Sam's arms stand up; he wasn't very good around new people. They always made him kind of nervous. People were unpredictable and Sam didn't seem to be very good at choosing the right ones to trust.

"People call me Sam." Brian simply glanced down at Sam and raised an eyebrow.

"You stick to the rules and everything will be fine Samuel."

Sam sighed and hiked his back pack further back up onto his shoulder. "Yes, Sir."

"You'll be sharing a room with our other ward, his name is Dean. He's a good guy, has a bit of a bad temper sometimes, but if you have any problems you just come to me alright?" Brian turned at the door to what Sam assumed was his room. "You understand me Samuel?"

Blinking up at _Brian_ , Sam nodded. "Yes, Sir." His voice was soft and wavered. He hated that. He wished he could sound tougher. The tough kids never got into so much trouble.

Brian picked at something on the sleeve of his shirt and brushed at his arm. "I'll let you two boys get to know each other." Brian's fingers brushed Sam's cheek for a moment and then he headed back down the hall. "Dean knows when dinner is," he tossed back over his shoulder as he headed down the stairs.

Sam stood there for a few minutes watching as Brian disappeared down the stairs. Taking a deep breath he turned and reached out for the door knob then hesitated. _A bit of a bad temper_. Changing his mind Sam knocked on the door.

Looking up from his homework Dean frowned slightly and wondered if this was the new kid. He'd been expecting a new one for awhile now, ever since Nicholas had left a few weeks ago. Pushing up to his feet, Dean headed to the door and pulled it open, not looking as far down as he expected to meet the eyes of the boy there. "Hey you must be the newbie, come on in." Dean stepped back to give him room, crossing back to his bed and dropping down. "I'm Dean."

"I'm Sam." Sam inched his way into the room and closed the door softly behind him. "Is that my bed?" Sam pointed at the bed closest to the door and sighed. It was a pretty small room so it wouldn't be all that easy to stay out of Dean's way.

"Yeah, and the dresser has two free drawers on the top. Also the closet is clean if you're interested in using it. I keep all my stuff folded." Dean watched Sam slowly inching across the room and smiled softly. "Brian told you something about me huh? What was it this time? Did he tell you the story about me throwing a dish across the kitchen because I swear that's not true. I dropped it accidentally." He shrugged and shifted up until he was sitting against the headboard, watching Sam move - still unsure.

Sam dropped his backpack at the top of his bed and shoved it over in the corner against the wall then pulled his feet out of his sneakers and pushed them under the bottom of his bed before he climbed up on to it and sat back against the wall next to his backpack. "Brian said you have a bad temper. I'll stay out of your way, I'm used to it."

Sam pushed his hair back off his forehead then tucked his fingers up under the sleeves of his hoodie. "I'll keep my things cleaned up and I won't bug you." Sam pulled his knees up to his chest and glanced over at Dean. The strange thing was there was a smile on the older boy's face.

"The only time I have a bad temper is when the situation calls for it," Dean shrugged and continued to watch Sam curiously. It was a familiar look. Obviously the kid had been in and out of his fair share of foster homes and probably had suffered in a few of them. Dean knew it well. "Been in for awhile huh?" He asked, tone much softer this time.

Nodding, Sam peered over at Dean from under his bangs. Dean had a lot of freckles and short brown hair with bits of red in it. Sam hesitated for a few moments then tilted his head to the side, "I was at the last place for almost six months but this kid Bobby, he was an ass- well, and he got me in trouble a lot." Biting down on his bottom lip Sam dropped his gaze again and shifted closer to his backpack. "Are they okay? Jane and Brian?"

Dean knew the type, the Bobby kid; he'd seen his fair share and learned the best ways to handle them. Sam seemed young enough he might be able to pass along some help. "Jane's sweet. Quiet, but if you get her alone, she can be great. Brian... just watch your step. He's strict and stern. Just do what he says," Dean shrugged. "I've been here since I turned sixteen, shortly after. I'll be eighteen next January." Sometimes Dean talked a bit too much, only because he often got roommates that didn't talk at all and he made up for the difference. And honestly, truthfully, he might be a bit lonely. Dean wouldn't admit that aloud.

"Okay, thanks." Sam tightened his arms around his knees. "I have nightmares sometimes, but if you wake me up I'll be quiet," Sam blurted out. "Just throw something at me," he added quietly.

Turning on the bed, Dean faced Sam and considered his quiet demeanour. Seemed like he was going to be a lot like the others. "I doubt I'll throw anything at you but thanks for telling me. I have a tendency to read random lines out of my book aloud. Also I'm not much of a morning person so sometimes it'll take a couple of times to wake me up." Dean smiled, trying to give Sam the opportunity to open up a little. "So, can I ask how long you've been in the system?"

"Oh, I won't wake you up. I'm very quiet." Sam smiled slightly, "and since I was eight. I'm gonna be fifteen on my next birthday. Did you ever run away? I never have but I think about it sometimes, doesn't seem like a good idea." Sam loosened his grip on his knees and ran a hand over his hair before pressing his lips together. He should try and remember to be quiet.

"I did, once. I was twelve and I stole the entire box of pop tarts." Dean smiled and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I sat in the park all afternoon and late into the night then I thought I heard a wolf howl and bolted." He shifted toward the edge of the bed, dropping his legs off the mattress. "I probably could make it work now but... I'm more focused on saving up money so when I get the boot at eighteen I'm not completely fucked. Sorry, I talk too much. Am I bothering you?" He did that a lot too, but he luckily knew how to restrain himself.

Sam shook his head quickly, hair flopping back down into his eyes. It was nice to have a roommate who liked to talk for a change; usually Sam got a lot of hostile looks and swear words on his first day. Sam's smile grew a little and he shifted away from his backpack slightly. "Do you go to school near here? I like walking to school. At my last house there was a big ball park about five blocks away - sometimes I wouldn't go to school and I would just watch the teams practice. Do you think I'm too tall to play baseball?"

This made Dean laugh loud and clear and officially decide that Sam was an alright kid. Hopefully he'd stick around for a little while. "Not sure if height matters in baseball. You're in high school right? The one we'll go to is about nine blocks south of here so yeah, I walk. Both Brian and Jane work and usually aren't around in the morning. Which is why I said the thing about waking me up because I might sleep through the alarm. So I actually _want_ you to wake me up." Dean shifted over the nightstand and tugged it open, pulling out a bag of mixed candy. "Want some candy?" He offered it to Sam after grabbing himself a tootsie roll.

Hesitating a moment, Sad stared up at Dean's face then scooted forward to the edge of the bed and reached out to take a tootsie roll as well. "Thanks, Dean." Scooting back to his backpack Sam pulled it over so he could open the zipper on the front pouch. Rustling around in the pocket Sam pulled out a pack of gum. "You want this? I don't like gum." He leaned down to hold it out to the older boy, "it's not old or anything."

"You don't like gum?" Dean reached out to take the item and dropped it into his nightstand, setting the bag of candy on the top for easy access. "How many homes you been in before?" Dean's curious nature made him want to ask more, like what had put Sam in the system in the first place and what he had nightmares about, but he kept the questions to himself. For now.

Chewing on his candy slowly Sam scratched at his cheek. "This is my fifth one, almost one a year," he laughed softly and drew back against the wall again. "The Johnson's was the longest but that whole Bobby thing," he sighed and swallowed the rest of his candy. "Did you have a lot of roommates here?" Sam had a roommate everywhere he stayed, never a room to himself. He almost thought it might be a little lonely.

"Yeah a few. I've seen six kids come and go since I got here if you count Mitchell, who was here when I showed up. A lot of them were pretty young. Haven't had another teenager for awhile." Dean thought there was something to that but then, when you lived in this kind of world, not trusting adults was almost second nature. "So you said your birthday is soon? Like, next week soon or in a couple of months soon?" Dean, by this point, was just wracking his mind for things to ask that wouldn't be too personal but would keep Sam talking. Instant connections were rare in places like this and he was always seeking them out.

Looking down at his hands Sam smiled shyly. "Well, not till May. Guess I'm rushing it a bit... but sometimes, mean kids think you're tougher if you're older. You don't seem mean though, not so far, but I'll tell you tomorrow morning if you have a bad temper." His eyes darted up, smiled fading when he realized that he had teased Dean.

Snorting a laugh, Dean pushed up to his feet. "You're okay Sam, I like you." He nodded as if he'd officially made up his mind on the subject and gestured toward the door. "You want a tour before dinner? We eat at six each night. And basically we'll spend most of our time in here since Brian doesn't want us messing up the rest of the house but never hurts to know your way around just in case."

Dean stopped by the window and pulled the blinds all the way up. "I keep this open whenever it's warm enough so don't have to worry about it getting too stuffy in here." Pointless information to share in attempt to make Sam feel more welcomed.

Catching his bottom lip under his teeth Sam stared at Dean’s back for a few moments then wriggled back to the edge of the bed and dropped his feet down to the floor so he could pad over and stand just behind his new roommate. Leaning around Dean's side Sam peered out the window, eyes wide and curious. "Is there a back yard?"

Smiling at the soft note to Sam's words, Dean turned slightly, just enough to catch sight of him before nodding. "There is. Not much back there but we could always play football or soccer back there, if you want." Dean liked the idea of befriending Sam, it would be a pleasant alternative considering most of the kids who came before were either too young to really play with or too old to have any interest in making a connection.

"Really?" Sam looked up at Dean then quickly glanced away. Most of the other kids he shared homes with didn't want much to do with him. "I'd like that," he murmured and stepped a little closer to lean on the wind window sill, "but I don't know how to play soccer." When he turned to look up at Dean over his shoulder he smiled.

"Yeah me either so we'll just kick a ball around. There's a park not too far from here too. We could play basketball there. Brian and Jane have this closet downstairs with a whole slew of sports equipment. Because they only ever get boys as far as I can tell." Dean slid across the room to the door. "C'mon, let's do the tour."

Turning quickly Sam shuffled over to his bed. "Do I need my shoes?"

"Nope," Dean pointed toward his own sock covered feet and turned to pull the door open, leading Sam out into the hallway. "So this is our bathroom. We're supposed to keep it clean so we can take turns once a week okay?"

Dean smiled over at Sam and led him down the hall, pointing to a closed door. "That's Jane and Brian's room, but of course we don't go in there." They came to the end of the hall and an older, more rusted door. Dean paused for a moment and listened to the sound of quiet voices downstairs before slowly pulling the door open. "This is the attic. It's kind of creepy so we don't have to go up if you don't want to."

Sam peered around Dean's arm and laid a hand on the older boy's back so he could lean forward to see. "What's up there?" He was curious, but _not_ so curious he was going to go racing up there. Attics and basements were nearly always creepy.

"Just a bunch of old junk. I've always wanted to go sneaking through but..." Dean didn't want to admit that the one time Jane had commissioned him to carry something up there it had scared the shit out of him. "Maybe we can go check it out sometime."

Dean shut the door and turned to Sam, smiling crookedly. "When Jane and Brian aren't home. If you're into the whole sneaky thing." Sam's hand was on his shoulder now that he'd turned and he had to admit it was nice to be touched. That didn't happen very often. "Wanna see the places we can go on the ground floor?"

"Sure." Sam stepped back a little and felt a grin break onto his face. Even if he was a little put off by Brian and Jane, Dean seemed pretty cool and for once, he might have met someone he could be friends with. Falling into step just behind Dean Sam looked at the photos that were hanging on the walls as they headed downstairs. There were lots of holiday photos of Brian and Jane, none of the kids who were probably living there over the years. Weird. "Is it easy to stay out of trouble here?" He kept his voice low.

"Oh yeah, you seem like you've been around enough to know the routine. Clean up after yourself, don't give them a reason to be angry and you'll be good." Dean led them into the main living room and shrugged. "No real reason to come in here. I mean, there's the TV but they don't get many channels, just the basics and even then it's all staticy."

Smiling softly Dean led them down the hall and pulled open the front closet. "Here's the sports stuff. This is the guest bathroom so I generally don't use it. Here's the kitch...en." This happened to be where Jane and Brian were, talking to some woman Dean instantly pegged as a social worker from the way her smile turned fake. "Hey, sorry, I was just showing Sam around and giving him the rules."

Sam bumped into Dean's back and peered around him again to see who was in the kitchen.

Brian barely glanced at Dean, "Thanks Dean, you boys getting along okay?" He smiled and Sam noted it was that same smile that didn't ever make it past his lips.

Stepping up to Dean's side Sam nodded, "yes, Sir. Dean's very nice." He pressed his lips together so that he wouldn't grin when Dean flicked him on the back of his arm with his finger.

Jane smiled and tucked her hair long blonde hair behind her ears. She had a mole just like Sam's on her cheek and it made him smile. "You boys hungry? We're having lasagne for dinner." Her eyes were that strange blue color almost like a husky’s and Sam blinked a few times before smiling brightly at her.

"I'm always hungry," he blurted out. He glanced over at Brian and saw the man's gaze darken slightly. "I mean," he stepped back a little behind Dean, "at meal times and stuff."

The strange look on Brian's face unsettled Dean and he stepped back slightly, catching Sam's sleeve and pulling on it. "Lasagne sounds great Jane, thanks. We'll be back all washed up around dinner time, I'm just gonna finish showing Sam around." He pulled the boy from the room before anyone could say anything else. Something was off but Dean shrugged it off to Sam just being new and the adjustment that meant. He didn't stop walking - or let go of Sam's sleeve - until they were outside. Then he did both, stepping away. "Jane's a good cook," he said softly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"I..." Sam looked down at his socks then back up to stare out over the backyard. "I don't think I like Brian much." If Sam had learned anything over the years it was to trust his gut instinct about things, it was seldom wrong when it came to people.

Eyes fixing over on Sam, Dean slowly nodded. "Just. Stick by me okay? Try not to be in the room with him if I'm not around," Dean would never be sure what made him say it but he was sticking to that decision. For both their safety. "You can be my shadow; I've got no problem with that. I really don't have any friends." He smiled softly and leaned against the side of the house.

"Me either." Sam turned back and flashed a full on grin, the whole thing with Brian was just weird and he'd sooner not even think about it. He would stick to Dean's advice and everything would be fine. "You must know people at school." Looking around quickly, Sam pushed himself up onto the top of the porch wall so he could sit.

Chuckling softly Dean shook his head. "It's a small town. People know I live here, for some reason high school kids think being a foster kid is the equivalent to loser. Fucking whatever, I don't really care." He shrugged, lying completely. He did care, he hated that people gave him a wide berth like being a foster kid was a disease they could catch.

Looking at Sam he smiled sadly and rubbed the back of his neck. "So what do you say Sam? You wanna be my first friend in a long while?" He grinned, shifting to the side to bump into Sam's side.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Will you show me the way to school tomorrow?" Sam wasn't looking forward to school; he'd been the new kid too many times. At least he was tall enough now that most people didn't pick on him - but in some ways that was worse because that meant he was _invisible_. At least he wouldn't be invisible here. Lifting his arm Sam bumped his fist into Dean's shoulder. "You're not so bad for a guy with a bad temper." Sam grinned.

"Dude, one of these times I'm gonna show you that _bad temper_ ," Dean smirked and threw his arm around Sam's neck, tugging him in and pinning him to his side. "See look at that, ten seconds and I've got you pinned." It was kind of amazing, the simple act of tackling Sam like they were good friends or brothers even. More contact than he'd had with someone in his entire life even.

"You cheated!" Sam tried to wriggle out of Dean's grip and started laughing. Poking Dean in the ribs Sam grinned when he heard the older boy start to laugh as well. "I'll have you," Sam grunted as he tried to get out of the head lock, "beat into shape in no time."

"You wish," Dean laughed louder and dragged Sam out into the yard, letting him free and nearly tackling him to the ground. He had no idea where the sudden urge to wrestle with Sam came but the boy didn't seem to be protesting. "I'm older and better lookin'," he grunted when Sam's elbow connected in his middle. "Always gonna win." Dean flipped him over and pinned him to the ground with hands hard on both arms.

Sock feet scrambling to get a hold on the grass Sam kneed Dean hard in the ass and laughed even harder when he managed to get his breath. "Dean," he whined and tried to push up and flip the older boy off. "You're heavy," he chuckled and stared up into his new friend's eyes. They were a sparkly green color, wide and almost pretty like a girl's eyes. Just more serious. Sam's brow furrowed above his smile as he looked away nervously, he wasn't used to people touching him and it was making him feel weird. "Come on," Sam smiled wider and looked back up at Dean, "lemme up."

"Yeah alright, but only because I just met you and I don't want you to think I'm _totally_ weird," Dean grinned and pushed up to his feet, offering Sam his hand to help tug him up. Now that he had a clear head he felt kind of stupid for pushing things with Sam like that. "Sorry, I don't get to do stuff like that often. Got a little carried away."

Pulling himself up Sam grinned. "Don't be sorry, I already knew you were weird." Wrinkling his nose, Sam looked up at Dean and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "I'm just not used to wrestlin'," his expression softened a little, "usually no one, well, no one touches me." Sam dropped his gaze and picked up a foot to look at the bottom of his socks. "Got my socks all dirty."

"No one touches me either." Dean looked down at Sam's socks and smiled. "Come on, I'll show you were the washer and dryer is for future reference. Usually we get Tuesdays to do our laundry."

Dean led them back to the house and stopped to take his own socks off to make sure they didn't bring any dirt in with them. "I've been in the system my entire life," he said randomly, voice quiet. "Since birth I guess. Not sure why I never got adopted... guess I must have been a bad baby, temper and all." He smiled to make the words sound less sad than they really were.

"Bad baby," Sam snorted even though the whole conversation had a kind of bad feeling about it. Kids shouldn't have to grow up like they did and Sam decided at that moment he was going to be the best friend that Dean ever had.

Bending over to yank his socks off by the toes Sam tried to brush the dirt off his feet and jeans. "Okay, is dinner soon? I'm hungry. If it isn't we should probably go and have some more candy." Smiling, Sam flashed his dimples up at Dean.

Laughing Dean shook his head and led the way back through the house and up the stairs to their room. "Couple of hours 'til dinner so candy it is. I try to keep a stash on hand." He grinned and pushed the door of their room open, heading for his bed and dropping down.

"Do you like card games? Or games at all?" Dean pulled his homework close once more, shutting the book after a moment of consideration. He'd do it before class the next day and tell Brian he'd finished when asked. Spending time with Sam seemed much more appealing now.

"Never really played much, I know how to play Crib 'cause I watched at my last house and I think I can play Chess. Can you?" Flopping face down on his bed Sam turned his head to grin at Dean. "Or - you could tell me all about you." His expression softened and he propped his chin up on his hands. "Were you born in town?"

"No. My birth certificate says I was born in Hutchinson, but I don't remember that of course. Been pretty much all over the state over the years." Dean rolled onto his side to face Sam, fingers picking at the blanket. "So I'm seventeen right? I've been in twenty six different foster homes over the years. This place has been the longest and even though it's quiet and pretty lonely, it's been nice not to move around. The year I was thirteen I was in four different homes, it was intense." He sighed quietly and stared down at his hands.

"What happened to your parents?" Sam blinked a few times and sucked in a deep breath. He figured it was always an important part of who people were. "I never knew my Dad and my Mom died when I was little. I didn't know her very well - but she didn't like her family so I don't know them. Well," Sam rubbed at his cheek, "none of them wanted me anyway." It still made him feel a little like someone was stabbing him in the chest when he said that out loud.

With a small sigh, Dean pushed up so he could sit against the wall. "I think my mom must not have gotten along with my dad or something. Either way, no clue what happened to him."

Dean hadn't ever told anyone about what had happened to lead him to this place. He himself hadn't learned the truth until a few years ago when he bugged his case worker enough to finally get some details. He'd just wanted to know if his mom was still alive, either of them. "Anyway, my mom... I guess she couldn't handle things. She tried to raise me, maybe for a week or two? She snapped, at some point, and just..." Dean looked up at Sam and frowned, pulling his legs up to his chest.

"Becky, my social worker, she says they found me crying in the back alley behind our rental house. They found my mom in the garage with the car running and the doors closed." Dean shrugged as if it weren't a big deal; it was but only in a superficial way. It wasn't as if he'd known her or could really mourn anything more than the lack of knowing the woman.

"That's really shitty," Sam pushed up to sit cross legged on the bed. "Kind of sucks to be us doesn't it?" Sam smiled sadly and fiddled with the hem of his jeans. "Must be really hard to have kids." Sam had thought about that a lot. People seemed to give up kids a lot and then some of the foster parents that he had seen sure seemed to feel totally stressed out by having them. "I never want kids."

"Me either," Dean shook his head and flopped down onto the mattress. "If I feel the weird motivation to be a parent I'm gonna adopt but I doubt that will happen." He shifted on the mattress and scratched at his chest. "I don't think I'll even get married. It's not really legal for me anyway, not everywhere anyway. Just seems less complicated not too."

"Whadya mean it's not legal?" Sam perked up and leaned forward, he was curious about things that were legal. He'd thought at one point in time he might like to be a lawyer but then he found out how much it cost to go to school and gave up that idea pretty quick.

Frowning slightly Dean hadn't even realized how he'd slipped up but now it was too late. Generally it wasn’t the thing he shared with his new roommates. People tended to be weird about it. "I'm gay," he said finally, looking up to meet Sam's gaze. "I hope... I mean, I know how that's probably not the best thing to hear from your new roommate but, I thought you should know. Or well, anyway I hope you won't freak out or something." When Sam just kept looking at him Dean laughed nervously. "I'm not gonna jump you or something."

Blushing Sam looked down at his fingers for a few moments. "That's cool." Sam hadn't really put much thought into what he was. They'd learned all about sexual orientation in school, gay rights, stuff like that. As far as Sam could see, everyone wanted the same basic things. Looking up, he smiled warmly, "you'll still let me kick your ass right?"

Laughing softly Dean felt relief wash through him and nodded. "Yeah, I'll still let you kick my ass. But I'm gonna put one hell of a fight up." As far as he was concerned, that was that and Dean was grateful for it.

"Wanna see a photo of my mom?" Sam looked up hopefully, finally shrugging out of his jacket and keeping just his hoodie on.

Eyes shooting up to Sam's Dean pushed up and grinned. "You have a picture? Yeah. I'd love that."

Scooting back to rustle through his backpack Sam pulled out an old color photo. The edges were separating and the emulsion was starting to crack on the front. Flattening it on his thigh Sam frowned then handed it over. "I think she was pretty." He smiled and pushed his hair back out of his eyes, "some people say I look like her."

Taking the picture carefully, Dean stared down at it. He could see some of the similarities, not in the blonde hair but the shape of cheek bones and the color of the eyes. "She really was pretty. I can see you in her." He smiled up at Sam and reached out for his nightstand, tugging the drawer open and sorting through the contents. "A few months ago, for my last birthday, Jane and Brian gave me this picture frame. I don't have anything to put in it." He set the picture to the side and pulled the back of the frame open, smiling when he could put the picture against the glass and close it up. It was a little too small for the frame and slid around when he picked it up but at least it was protected. Smiling brighter, Dean offered the frame to Sam and shrugged.

Sam's heart hurt a little bit when Dean handed him the frame and he opened his mouth to speak but all his words got kind of stuck behind a huge lump in his throat. His fingers curled around the edge of the frame and he smiled softly as he stared down at his mom. Clearing his throat Sam dropped his head down, "thanks," he murmured. Sometimes it was hard to look at her and because Sam spent a lot of years trying to remember something, anything, a smell or the sound of her voice. He figured maybe, it might be time to just look at her a little and remember her that way.

"No problem," Dean smiled down at his hands and twisted them together. He gave Sam a few minutes to compose himself, understanding that some situations could be a little more overwhelming than others. When he chanced a look back up the picture frame was temporarily sitting on the night stand by Sam's bed and it made him smile once more. "How old were you? Do you remember her at all?"

"Maybe three years old," Sam shrugged a shoulder and pulled his hands back up inside his sleeves. The cuffs on his hoodie were worn and frayed where he grabbed them in his fists to close off the end of his sleeves. "I used to think maybe I could remember her singing to me, but I think maybe, nah...." Voice soft and quiet, Sam blinked up at Dean and rubbed at his eyes. "S'hard to," he blew out a breath, "to think you have no one."

Dean thought it was maybe a bit harder to accept the idea of having someone when you were so used to _not_. "I've never had anyone," Dean whispered and flopped back onto the mattress. "You just get used to it huh? Guess that's just how the world is." His head tilted to the side to stare at Sam and he wondered what it would be like if the boy stayed with him through the rest of the year until he turned eighteen. Then it would be the record for the longest friendship he'd ever had. "I hope you stay awhile. I can already tell I'm gonna like you a lot."

Raising his eyebrows Sam's lips finally turned up into a smile again. "You're not so bad yourself, Dean. I guess you'll only be here until your next birthday huh?" Sam tried to keep the smile on his face, after all, it's not like he and Dean had been friends for years or something.

"Yeah. But hey if we become really close I may just stick around. Especially since you’d be like, my only friend ever." Dean smiled uncertainly at Sam and shrugged. He seemed to be doing that a lot with Sam but that was likely his own lack of self-confidence. "I haven't given a lot of thought to what I'll do when they kick me out."

"I wanted to be a lawyer before - but now I know how much school costs. Bobby says that they don't give you anything when you leave foster homes and then you're, like, stuck. Guess I should get a job somewhere right?" Sam's lips puffed out as he sighed; suddenly the world seemed like an even crappier place. There was always so much to worry about. He needed to get good grades in school if he had a hope of getting a scholarship but he'd have to work to get some money. Scratching at his forehead Sam turned and reached into his backpack to pull out a clean pair of socks.

"I work part time at Dairy Queen. You're too young right now technically but the manager used to be in a foster home so he has a soft spot for us." Dean grinned and pushed off the bed, dropping down on Sam's. "Bet I could get you a small part time job. Probably cleaning but I know Brian likes the show of responsibility." The idea of seeing Sam at work with him sounded like lots of fun.

"Really?" Sam straightened up and shifted a little so he could look at Dean. "You'd do that for me?" Smiling, Sam reached up and tousled Dean's hair, mostly because he wanted to hug him but wasn't sure if that would be okay. Besides, he'd seen other guys do it to each other and Dean looked like the kind of guy who liked his hair to be all cool looking. Sam's hair? Never very close to cool looking.

Making himself comfortable beside Sam on the bed, Dean grinned. "For sure. We can work the same shifts. It'll be awesome." Dean shifted to the side until his shoulder pressed into Sam's, thinking maybe they could share little touches just to feel something so often deprived of.

"That's great." Sam's smile was so bright his cheeks were aching a little. Throwing his arm over Dean's shoulder Sam looked down at his new friend. "Will Brian and Jane let me have a job do you think?" He ran his finger nails over the shoulder seam on Dean's t-shirt. "Don't wanna make 'em mad at me."

"Brian practically insisted I get a job. I'm sure he'd be really pleased at you taking the step." Dean leaned into Sam s side, arm wrapping around his middle. "Tomorrow you can come with me after school to the restaurant okay? We'll make it work." Sam was turning out to be the best new roommate he'd ever had.

"Deal. Now, about that candy." Sam grinned.


	2. Chapter 2

The door was wide open in front of them and Dean stared up the creaky stairs before turning to look at Sam at his side. The boy had grown at least two inches in the last two months and they could almost see eye to eye now. Sam was going to be tall, Dean could tell. "You go first," he insisted quietly, chuckling softly because he was the older one and therefore should be the one more mature and brave. But the attic was fucking creepy. And it was like, ten at night so therefore a little more than creepy.

"I'll be right behind you, promise," Dean whispered and curled his fingers around Sam's sharp hipbone nudging him forward.

Sam dug his heels in and pressed back into Dean's body. "No way," he hissed, "you're older. You're bigger than me too!" Sam's palms were sweating and he could feel his nerves tingling with fear. It was stupid. It was just an old attic but there were strange sounds up above them sometimes at night and they'd had this idiotic idea that they should go upstairs and see what it was.

The timing was good. Brian and Jane had gone to a convention for the weekend, some sales scheme or something equally ridiculous. Sam was just glad he and Dean were old enough to stay by themselves for a few days. Two nights and three days on their own with no one to tip toe around. Turning slightly Sam pressed a hand to Dean's chest and whispered, "I don't wanna go first, let's go together when we get to the top of the stairs."

"Ever seen the movie Clue? They go up the stairs together. I bet we can fit." And no, this had nothing to do with how appealing it sounded to have Sam squished up against his side. If he were honest with himself, which he wasn't, Dean may have admitted to have a little bit of a crush on Sam. But the kid was well, a kid, and even if his fifteenth birthday was coming up, that was too young. Dean thought it might have something to do with Sam being the first person he felt any connection to in his life. "Come on, we'll just go and look and come back down." Dean curled his fingers around Sam's wrist and dragging him to the stairs, wrapping an arm around his shoulder to make more room.

Leaning hard into Dean's side, Sam blinked across at him with wide eyes. "Seriously, can't we just watch a movie like normal teenagers?" Dean's eyes were sparkling with excitement and Sam couldn't help but smile. "Well, shit," he looked up the stairs, "let's go then." Taking a deep breath Sam waited for Dean and then they started up the stairs slowly. About half way up the stairs Sam’s arm snaked around Dean's waist and his fingers grabbed a fist full of the older boy's t-shirt. "Don't you leave me up here," he whispered.

"I'm not that big of an asshole," Dean whispered back and swallowed the sharp spike of fear down. He wasn't sure what it was about this attic that freaked him out so much but even walking past the door made him spaz a little. "Did you grab the flash light?" Dean breathed out the words quietly, eyes snapping around the darkness as they ascended the steps.

Nodding Sam pulled the flashlight out of the back pocket of his jeans and turned it on. The beam was unsteady as he shone it up ahead of them. There were only a few more steps and Sam could already make out some boxes and a big trunk right at the top of the stairs.

"What if they keep like... dead grandparents up here or something?" Sam's voice was strained and he was actually far more worked up than he thought he would be. Leaning a little harder against Dean's side, Sam glanced over at him again, "wanna keep going?" Blinking in the darkness Sam kept the flashlight on the stairs as he hesitated.

Pushing forward once more Dean nodded and pulled Sam with him. "We said we were gonna do it, so we're going to. Even if it's only for like, ten seconds. Just to look around," Dean glanced over at Sam, steps faltering for a moment. "Did you want to wait until tomorrow during the day? We could come back. I wouldn't be mad or anything." He definitely wasn't going to admit to being as scared as he was but the top of the stairs wasn't that far off and Dean was half tempted to turn and book it back down.

"Dude," Sam grinned even if he _didn't_ take his eyes off the darkness ahead, "are you scared?" Sam poked Dean in the side and squeezed his arm a little tighter around the older boy. Sam was scared almost spit-less which was ridiculous because he knew there was nothing up in the attic but a few nasty spider webs and maybe some old musty clothes. It was just that he had made up this whole thing in his head about how the noises were made by some ghost or monster or something like in Jane Eyre. "What if there's a crazy person up here?" Sam froze.

"I seriously doubt there's a crazy person. I never heard any noises until recently. So unless they just found themselves someone to stash up here..." Dean trailed off and roughly shook his head. No way, he couldn't let himself go down this path. "Few more steps, let's go." He dropped his arm and linked his fingers through Sam's instead, inhaling sharply before the floor of the attic appeared at eye level with the next step up. "I don't hear anything," he whispered, peering into the darkness uncertainly.

"Think about it, Dean." Sam's voice dropped even lower and his fingers curled tight into Dean's. "What if some crazy fucker climbed in the window and managed to get up here?" Their socked feet were almost silent on the stairs as they continued to climb and Sam tried to focus on the sound of Dean's breathing and the warmth of his fingers.

"It would be a long climb. And the window is never open," Dean reassured as they stepped up finally on even ground. The beam of Sam's flashlight was casting weird shadows around the objects and Dean sighed shakily. "So... now what? Should we look around?" He whispered low in his throat and squeezed Sam's hand back just as tightly.

Sam heard a noise and whipped the flashlight over to the right side of the attic. Of course, there was nothing there but boxes and a suitcase and a creepy old dress form that people used when they sewed. Sam sucked in a breath when a spider web brushed his face and stumbled sideways into Dean nearly dropping the flashlight. "Jesus," he hissed and swiped at the web that was tickling his cheek.

"Where's the-" Dean fumbled as he curled an arm around Sam, breathing a little heavier than before. "What was it?" Dean asked quietly and reached down, curling his hand around Sam's with the flashlight and holding it steady. "Are you okay?" Dean _really_ didn't like this place. The air felt cold, colder than it had been when they'd first stepped up and not at all fitting for the April air. "Do you feel cold?"

"Yeah," Sam shivered, "fuckin' spider web." He swatted at his face again and jolted back a little as something moved ahead of them, flickering, almost like a badly tuned satellite dish. Tugging Dean's hand with his, Sam moved the flashlight. "D..Dean..." Blinking rapidly Sam held his breath.

There weren't really words to properly describe the... thing. Both he and Sam stood paralyzed, watching as it flickered out of existence then back again. It was, a boy. Younger than Sam maybe but not by much. Shorter though, and skinny with stringy black hair and translucent skin. It kind of reminded Dean of the little girl from the Ring only because that was the one and only horror movie he'd watched. And he'd had nightmares about it. This thing was going to stay with him forever.

Dean could _see_ his breath as he exhaled and a hard shudder tore down his spine fast and quick. "Holy fuck, Sam, run," he gasped and shoved at his friend, pushing him toward the stairs. The boy kept disappearing and reappearing closer and he _leered_ in a way that could only be described as terrifying. Dean grabbed Sam by the hem of his shirt and pulled him quickly for the stairs, fear and panic rising swiftly up in him.

Racing forward Sam grabbed Dean's belt and stumbled down the first few stairs, eyes darting back over his shoulder. As they turned Sam's hand smacked into the wall and the flashlight went clattering down the stairs ahead of them. "Dean..." They moved so fast Sam's socked feet slid off the edge of the next step and he grabbed at Dean's shirt. "Dean!"

"I got you," Dean insisted and snagged Sam around the middle to straighten him. He wasn't brave enough to look back but that was just fine. Once he was certain Sam wasn't going to fall they raced down the steps and he only just remembered to grab the flashlight before they were out the door. He slammed it shut behind him but that didn't seem like enough protection so he grabbed Sam's shirt and tugged him quickly down the hall and into the room. Even when they stepped inside and he flicked the light on, he didn't let go of Sam's shirt. Dean panted heavily and fell back against the door, heart racing hard in his chest.

Sam was still shaking and struggled to let out the breath he was holding. "Wh..what was that?” Rubbing the back of his hand across his mouth Sam blinked and swallowed hard as he stared into Dean's eyes. "I thought, there was..." His hand waved uselessly as he tried to come up with the right words to describe what his brain was trying to convince him that he had seen. Settling his hand against Dean's chest Sam realized he was still holding Dean's belt and let go. Smiling weakly he let out a shuddering breath and curled his fingers into the material of Dean's t-shirt. "Holy fuck," he whispered.

The last thing Dean wanted to do was give it a _name_ but he had a pretty good hunch. "I think... it looked like a ghost." The word sounded weird coming from his own lips and on instinct Dean wrapped his arm around Sam's neck and pulled him in for a tight hug. Anything to calm the way his mind was racing. "I didn't even think things like that could exist," he whispered and held tight to Sam.

Sam's arms cinched tight around Dean's back and he rested his chin on the older boy's shoulder. "Ghost," Sam echoed, "a kid," he mumbled. "He looked just like a kid...but like all messed up." Still shaking Sam pulled back a little to look at Dean's face, "What the hell?"

"No clue," Dean shook his head and, on impulse, pressed a kiss to Sam's temple. "We're okay. It's okay. Doesn't seem like it's coming after us." He pulled back enough to meet Sam's gaze, cupping his jaw. "Want some water? Candy? I heard sugar is good for shock." That had just been on a TV show but it seemed pretty accurate.

"How do we know it's not gonna come in here?" Sam pulled Dean further into the room and away from the door. "It... it just appeared up there and it wasn't there before, right? You said there was nothing up there. What if..."

Darting away Sam grabbed the chair from under the desk, slammed it under the doorknob then moved back to press up against Dean's back. "I am _not_ going out there until morning." Forcing a weak laugh Sam circled his arms around Dean's chest and peered over his shoulder at the door. "Can you hear anything?" He whispered against Dean's ear.

What he _heard_ was blood rushing to his ears as Sam's breath pulsed forward. "Um, no," he whispered and pulled back a little, trying to smile reassuringly over at his friend. "I think I need to lie down. This is all a bit much to try and accept." Dean wasn't really interested in removing his arms from around Sam but he felt a little dizzy and thought if he didn't lie down he might pass out. "I am scared I'm going to have nightmares, which sounds stupid."

"Nightmares suck" Sam shifted back a little, reluctant to let go of his friend. They both knew that Sam had nightmares, Sam because he lived through them and Dean because he sometimes had to shake Sam awake in the middle of the night because he was moaning and whimpering. It was embarrassing. Sam brushed his fingers over Dean's forehead, "you look kinda pale, c'mon." He pulled Dean toward his bed and yanked the covers back for him. "Sit, before you fall down."

Dropping down, Dean sighed shakily and reached up to pull off his shirt, tossing it across the room. "Hey look can I just..." Dean was in for the, let's get down under the covers and pretend everything that happened didn't just happen. Only in a clean way. Mostly. "Nightmares really do suck," he nodded and reached down to undo his jeans, ignoring the lingering shake in his hands.

Looking back at the door again, Sam sat down on the edge of Dean's bed. Sucking on his bottom lip for a few moments Sam stared at the door like he could see through it. _Jesus_ , he could still feel the sweat cooling on his lower back and that strange heaviness as the adrenaline worked its way out of his body. A ghost? _Jesus._

"I could," Sam cleared his throat and shifted back on the mattress a little, "stay over here with you until you fall asleep. Would that help?" Glancing at Dean out of the corner of his eye Sam smiled shakily. He was completely _not_ opposed to staying in Dean's bed because _fuck_ whatever that was up in the attic had scared the shit out of him.

"Could you stay all night?" Dean asked in a rush and pushed up to wiggle out of his pants. "No one's home, it would just... I mean, this way if either of us have nightmares..." he shrugged and climbed into the bed, sliding back to the wall and rolling on his side to face Sam's body. "Okay, so basically I'm fuckin' terrified by that thing and having you sleeping in the same bed with me sounds like a really good idea. So, if it's okay," he smiled uncertainly up at his friend and shifted against his cool sheets. At this point he didn't even want to turn the lights off.

Grinning, Sam nodded quickly and stood to yank his t-shirt off over his head then quickly undid his jeans and slipped them down over his hips so he could kick out of them. "Alright, I'm sleeping on the side that's farthest away from the door." Sam hesitated a moment at the bottom of the bed then darted over to flick the light off and ran back around to dive under the covers. "This sucks ass," he muttered, "I haven't been this scared since I was a kid and Nick Wilson hid outside the house with a lamp plugged into the outside extension and waved it around in front of the window." He shrugged when Dean glanced over at him, "I was five," he explained and smiled weakly before curling up against Dean's side.

Turning until he faced Sam, Dean smiled and reached up to tuck hair behind Sam's ear. "I'm going to pretend like I saw nothing. You game for that?" His fingers slid on the sheet between them before wrapping around the boy's waist and pulling him close. "As long as I'm here Sam, nothing bad is going to happen to you I promise." Dean's mind was switching from the problem to a new one. Mainly the fact that Dean _was_ attracted to Sam and his traitorous body was responding to that. Stifling a quiet groan, Dean bent his body to keep his hips purposefully away. Nothing could explain that awkward moment.

Sam frowned and shifted back a little wondering if he'd done something stupid, "you okay? Did I..." Sam pulled his arms back and crossed them in front of his chest. "You want me to move?"

"No, no," Dean shook his head though he thought moving might be a good idea, it was certainly the last thing he wanted. "I just. Um." Sighing softly Dean rubbed his fingers against his temple and half shrugged. "So. Sam? You know, I'm- I'm gay you know? So um... um... you're mostly naked and I'm seventeen and a guy who likes guys so it's just..." Yeah, if Sam couldn't figure it out from that he wasn't saying anything else. Only now he thought Sam might freak out and run out of the bed but at least they weren't thinking about the ghost issue any longer.

"But you don't think about me th-" Sam cleared his throat nervously and tightened his arms across his chest. "Do you want me to move to my bed?" He didn't really want to go over there, it was entirely too close to the door and entirely too far away from Dean. "Does it..." Sam pressed his lips together. There were about a thousand things whirring through Sam's mind but he was pretty sure that if he said any of them he would end up sounding like an idiot.

"I don't mind," Sam continued softly, "I mean-" his eyes widened and he rubbed his arms. "Do you like me like that? _That_ way? Is it just 'cause I'm a guy?" Sam was, admittedly, less than experienced when it came to things like sex. He was almost fifteen, he thought about it, but he wasn't entirely sure that he understood what the big deal was about being _gay_. Sam found that it was just touches, the way people spoke and other things that made him feel that little thrill down his back. It didn't seem to really matter to Sam whether it was a girl or a guy, it was just touch, voices, the shiver of breath. Yeah, maybe he'd thought about it a little too much.

"Um." Dean flushed in embarrassment and was oddly glad for the lights being off. "It's kind of you," he whispered and closed his eyes. "Don't worry I know like, you're too young for things and um, probably not interested at all. So I won't do anything at all and I promise this uh, situation will pass." Dean _almost_ thought he'd rather be anywhere but here. The attic being the exception of course.

Sam bristled for a moment at the _too young_ comment then realized this was Dean and he didn't mean it in a bad way. Reaching out tentatively Sam slid his arm back over Dean's waist and shifted a little closer. "You've got a crush on me?" Sam grinned, the horrors of the attic momentarily forgotten.

Blushing impossibly brighter Dean turned his head to bury in the pillow even as he shifted into Sam's body, still careful to keep his hips back. "Shut up, it's embarrassing enough without being teased about it," he mumbled around the fluffy pillow and tilted his head toward Sam with a small smile. "I really care about you and I feel like you really care for me and that's the most important thing. I'm sorry I have to be all gay and make it weird." His smile grew slightly, testing Sam to see if this was okay.

"It's not weird." Sam reached up and smoothed Dean's hair back off his forehead. "I do care about you; you're the first friend I've had in ages and... yeah." Sam looked up at Dean. "How about you lay on your back and I'll, you know, be at your side." Pressing his lips together Sam dropped his gaze, wondering if he sounded like an idiot.

Dean was still too embarrassed about even needing to come with a compromise position so Sam wouldn't feel how turned on by this situation to get words to come. So he just nodded and rolled on his back, slipping an arm under Sam's body to pull him close. "God this whole night... let's just pretend it doesn't exist. Except this part." Dean whispered as Sam shifted into his arms and against his side.

Sam slid an arm across Dean's chest and reached up to curl his fingers around the other boy's neck. "I like this part," Sam said as he got settled. Dean's skin was warm and smooth under Sam's arm, comforting and kind of _special_ in that spine-tingle kinda way. "Do you think we're safe here?" Sighing, Sam wriggled his hips trying to get into a position that didn't crush his nuts. Giving up, he threw his leg over Dean's.

"Yeah, remember? I promised you're always gonna be safe with me." Dean murmured and tried desperately to ignore how much his body was responding to having Sam plastered up against his side. He told himself it was just because he'd never been in this position before and his stupid body didn't seem to register the fact that Sam was just fourteen and probably not interested - he was still unsure there - and so, _this_ couldn't happen. "Wake me up if you need to 'kay?" Dean was almost willing to think about the ghost now because it would make his own discomfort settle.

"Dean?" Sam's voice wasn't much above a whisper and his lips brushed against Dean's chest when he spoke.

 _Damn_ his stupid teenage body. "Uh, yeah?" He tried to keep his tone even and calm, finding whispering seemed to help.

"I'm not sleepy."

"Oh." In all the rush to get out of the attic and somewhere safe Dean had kind of forgotten it was like, half past ten. "Um. Okay. Well, what should we do then?" And if _that_ didn't get his mind spinning...

"Do you like other guys? Like you like me?" Sam's fingers curled and uncurled against Dean's neck. He liked being there, it _did_ make him feel safe even if he did have to try and forget how scared Dean had been when they were upstairs.

"Like I like you? No. That one is pretty exclusive at the moment," Dean sighed softly and tried not to think about what a weird conversation this could be. "I think other guys are attractive sometimes though. Like you probably think girls are and stuff. But it's... a crush is different. Haven't you had crushes on people before?"

Sam nodded against Dean's chest. "How come?"

"How come I like you?" Dean asked quietly and felt Sam nod against his chest once more. "Well, for one there's a physical thing. Uh, my body responds to yours. As we've discussed. And then you just... you're funny. And smart. And you've been through a lot of shit but you're not broken like a lot of kids get. I feel like I respect you and you respect me. And you're the first person in my entire life I actually want to talk to and spend time with. So, yeah." Dean once against blushed and thought it might have crawled down his entire body; maybe Sam could even feel the additional heat.

"Okay," Sam shifted his leg a little higher and closed his eyes. "Is there anything you wanna ask me?" Sliding his arm down to Dean's chest, Sam spelled out his name with the tip of his finger. He'd had a friend in another home that used to write on his back, draw pictures with his finger and make Sam guess what they were. It always felt really good to Sam.

"You aren't as bothered by this as I thought you'd be," Dean whispered and that wasn't really a question so he sighed and tried again. "It doesn't bother you? Or creep you out? And uh, you um, the finger thing? It's nice and all but you should probably... not." It was like cruel and unusual punishment Sam style and Dean's virgin status was not taking kindly to being teased.

"Oh." Sam withdrew his hand and curled it up against his chest, hesitated then moved his leg off Dean's. "I just... I had a friend who used to do that to me and I really liked it. Always gave me a neat feeling down my back, like pins and needles only not." Sam's brow furrowed. "And, it doesn't bother me or creep me out - you could never creep me out. Well, you could, but not 'cause of this."

Head falling to the side Dean lamented the loss of Sam's warmth and frowned. "You know Sam, it's not like I don't _want_ you touching me. 'Cause it's really nice and I like it. It's just. You know, it fucking _does_ things to me and so that's like, awkward. Or something." He laughed humorlessly and smacked his palm into his forehead. "Jesus what a weird ass night. I think that... thing, prevented my brain filter from working right. Can you just tell me you're not interested and get it over with so I can get my body to kick in with the rest of me?" Dean smiled sadly over at his friend briefly before looking away.

"No?" Sam tilted his chin up so he could see Dean's eyes. "I can't?" He blinked a few times and then moved away a little. "But I won't touch you if it makes it, bad... or worse, or hard," he cringed at his choice of word, "or whatever."

Eyes shooting sharply from across the room then back to Sam, Dean curled fingers behind his neck and stopped him from moving, slowly pulling him back into his side. "What do you mean you can't?" A weird flutter of hope settled in Dean's chest. They still wouldn't do anything or cross any lines while Sam was so young but just knowing there was some potential had his mind reeling. "I didn't think you like guys," he whispered and dragged Sam hard into his side, holding him tightly there.

"I... get that feeling when you touch me sometimes." Sam's hand hovered above Dean's chest for a few moments then settled back down again.

"Oh," Dean slowly nodded then moved his free hand to lie over Sam's, twisting so their fingers could interlock. "Well then, that's... okay." He smiled into the darkness and pulled Sam closer. For a few minutes they fell into silence and Dean's thoughts drifted back to the ghost boy in the attic. "Hey Sam, maybe we could like, look stuff about that ghost. I mean, if movies are right and stuff ghosts generally have some connection to the thing they're haunting right? So maybe we could look up why it's here?" Dean thought he might be able to rationalize things more if he knew the logic behind something.

"So maybe my crazy person in the attic killed him? Something like that you mean?" Sam's eyes widened again and he tugged Dean's hand closer. "What if he was killed up there?" The thought kind of made Sam's blood run cold and his eyes darted back over to the door, ears straining to hear some sort of noise from the attic.

Dean hadn't thought of that and he frowned, looking up at the ceiling. "I really don't think there's a crazy person in the attic. But... maybe he lived here before? That's what researching the house history would tell us right? If he lived in the house before maybe we could find out what happened to him." Dean really didn't want to think what could have killed him or caused him to be a ghost, that was scary all its own. "Aren't you curious?"

"I guess. I'm good with archives and stuff like that. Could see if there's something that happened around here, someone who disappeared maybe?" Settling back down against Dean's chest Sam discovered it actually didn't feel quite as terrifying when he thought of the kid as someone who might have been real at some point in time. Scary and really freaky, but not terrifying. "I will admit, the crazy person thing - that's from too much reading." Sam smiled softly and sneaked his leg back up over Dean's.

Chuckling softly, Dean nodded. "Yeah I kind of had that feeling. You've always got your nose buried in some book." Dean's legs spread slightly to grant Sam more access to hook their legs together. "Okay, so we can do some research and... maybe we can help him. Like in the Sixth Sense. Maybe he wants something. Which uh, means we see dead people?" Dean laughed in disbelief and decided it was much easier to accept the idea of seeing one random ghost then a whole slew of them.

"I don't _always_ have my nose buried in a book," Sam protested. "It's not like there's TV or anything. _God_ , if there was TV I would watch bad horror movies till my brains dribbled out my ears." Sam rustled under the covers for a minute as he settled down into the crook of Dean's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Do you think Brian and Jane have seen that kid?"

Face scrunching up slightly Dean considered it and shook his head. "No. Or if they have they sure are calm about it. I think at least Jane would freak out. Brian might like, hire some church people to come in or something." Dean's eyes closed slowly and he grinned. "I could just imagine Jane's scream at seeing him. We would have heard that." Opening his eyes once more Dean's head fell to the side and he stared at Sam through the darkness. "Do you think if it meant to harm us or that it would have already? We're okay yeah?"

"Dude," Sam pulled back so he could see Dean's face, "you're asking me that like I _know_ something. I'm the one who jammed the chair under the door remember?" Sam smiled sheepishly, after all, a _ghost_ that could appear and disappear would hardly have difficulty with a blocked door. Lifting his hand from the older boy's chest Sam curled it back around Dean's neck. "I think we're fine."

"I think we're fine," Dean repeated and pulled Sam close to press his lips to his temple once more, breathing deeply through his nose. "It doesn't feel cold. When the ghost came last time it felt cold you know? So, that could be like, a sign or something. We should be good." He pulled back and let his head fall into the pillow, smiling slightly at the craziness of this conversation.

"So..." Sam tilted his chin up slightly to try and peer at Dean in the darkness.

"So?" Dean's eyebrows lifted in a curved arch, lips matching in a smirk. "I'm guessing you're still not tired then?" He wasn't that tired either but then, his body was still suffering the consequences of Sam being so close.

"Does this," Sam stared up at his friend, "does it still feel like I should move away or is it okay now?" Tilting his head to the side Sam could see Dean's eyelashes and smiled. "You're worried about ghosts; I'm worried about losing my best friend." It was true. Sam had never had a close friend before and the idea of doing anything that would push Dean away made Sam's chest ache a little. At first, when they'd met he had held back a little, wondering if Dean was just being nice because Sam was new. There was just nothing about Dean that was fake though.

Pulling Sam close into his side Dean quickly shook his head. "No way, you're not going to be losing me any time soon." He beamed at being considered Sam's best friend and squeezed Sam's hand still clutched in his. "I'm not going to lie to you, it still um, affects me. But if you're comfortable still, and you know that, than I'm definitely okay with it." He was just glad it was dark and Sam's eyes were seemingly fixed up on his face alone.

"How long until your birthday?" Sam's voice was quieter, the weight of his question pushing hard on his heart. Dean's birthday meant that he'd be leaving the house. When Sam had first arrived it had seemed so far away but time had never gone so fast now that his life was filled with friendship.

"It's not until January; you’ve got me for a while. And Sam? I'm sticking around after. I've never had a person to hang around for; you're crazy if you think I'm giving that up." Dean turned so their eyes could meet. "I'll probably pick up more hours at work so I can afford a small place. And _hey_ you could come over and hang out at my place. I'll get TV and we can watch bad horror movies until our brains drip out our ears or whatever you said. It'll be awesome." He smiled brightly at Sam and leaned close so their foreheads bumped together. "Sound like a plan?"

Sam relaxed a little, lips curling up slightly. "Yeah." Sighing, he licked his lips as Dean's breath tickled them. It felt so _normal_ to be so close to Dean which, in itself, was a bit strange but then Sam's entire life had been a little unusual. The warmth from Dean's body was finally starting to make Sam a little sleepy, he was _far_ better than the cold sheets in Sam's own bed. "I'm tired now," he murmured. Tightening his fingers on Dean's neck Sam pulled him down and pressed his lips against Dean's softly then dropped his cheek back to his friend's chest while his heart was still pounding.

 _Blowing a slow breath out Dean nodded and smiled softly. "Yeah, me too. Sleep well Sam." He pressed a kiss to the top of Sam's head and focused on the boy instead of the thing up in the attic. It was safest way to find sleep. If only he could keep from focusing too much on the briefest tingling of his lips. He'd never felt such polar opposite feelings in one night. Being terrified at one moment and crazy turned on in the next. It might be a long night._

 _-=-=-=-_

 _They'd been pouring over information in whatever spare time they could find and so far, almost two weeks later, they'd yet to turn up anything. Dean didn't know really what type of places would give the information they were looking for. Of course everyone knew about kids coming in and out of the house but that was only because Jane and Brian had been doing the foster thing for almost two decades. And the house was owned by other people before them but there were no pictures anywhere so discovering who the kid might belong too was impossible. Dean and Sam both knew better than to ask either Jane or Brian about it so now they were at the library, attempting to find _any_ lead to go on._

"I wish we could break into official records somewhere," Dean whispered to Sam, glancing his way over the stack of old newspapers he was looking in. "I mean, how do we even know if we're on the right trail? What if the kid is attached to an item in the attic and not the house at all? I don't know how we're ever going to find out anything." So far they hadn't seen the ghost again but then, neither went further down the hall then their bedroom so it wasn't that big of a surprise.

"We don't." Sam glanced up and shrugged a shoulder as he smiled wryly. "That's the shitty thing about research. There are so many dead-ends." Flipping another page of the old newspaper Sam sighed. "Maybe we're just not looking for the right thing. We're looking for a _death_ right? What if it was a disappearance?" Blowing out a frustrated breath he sat back on his seat and stretched his arms up high above his head.

Considering this, Dean frowned slightly and shrugged. "I guess we could try looking that way. Only it opens up everything. We pretty much have to look everywhere for like, the last fifty years at least. Maybe even further." Groaning Dean dropped his arms on the table surface and buried his head in them. "Maybe we should just go back up there in the day time and see if we can talk to him." Dean mumbled into his arms, repressing the shudder at the thought.

"Talk to him?" Sam was embarrassed to almost squeak out his response. Lowering his voice he glanced at the Librarian over his shoulder. "You can't be serious," he hissed. There was no way in hell Sam was going back up those damn stairs. The only _good_ thing about that attic had been the fact that Sam had been able to spend a night wrapped around Dean. It was one of the best sleeps that Sam had been able to have as far back as he could remember; he slept the entire night through and had no nightmares. "I...I don't wanna go back up there, Dean."

Looking up from his arms, Dean turned to Sam and smiled softly. "Okay yeah, sorry. I don't really want to go up there again either. But maybe. I just don't know what else to do." He shrugged and scooted his chair over to Sam's side, letting their shoulders rest together. "I just feel like we've been spending all of our time here or researching at home and I don't think you've even realized what day it is." Dean's grin widened as he stared at his friend.

Rubbing at his tired eyes, Sam slumped down a little in his chair. "Saturday," he muttered, "if you don't want to research I should probably go home and work on my paper." Sam looked forward to the times they spent doing the research because it meant he got to have Dean to himself. The Library was quiet and peaceful and in between pages, Sam could get glimpses of Dean's face.

Chuckling softly Dean shook his head and pushed up out of the chair, grabbing his backpack. "C'mon, I've got to show you something." Brian said they were supposed to be home from the library no later than four and Dean was going to take advantage of all that time he could. He'd also been waiting for the right moment and it seemed like now was a good time for a break. "Outside, let's go," he dug a hand into his bag, turning to take a step away and waiting for Sam to gather up his stuff.

"Bossy," Sam muttered. But there was a smile on his face. "Where we going? Did you have another idea?" Sam shoved his notebook back in his backpack and swung it up over his shoulder. He took a couple of steps then turned back quickly for his jacket. "Thank you, Ma'am," he called out to the Librarian as he fell into step behind Dean.

Snagging Sam's hand the moment they left the library, Dean dragged him around to the back of the building, smiling brightly as they stepped behind the building, safely secluded from anyone who would be passing by. He dropped Sam's hand and held up his other, offering up a small box wrapped in the comic page from the newspaper. "Happy birthday, Sam," he said softly, small smile on his lips.

Frowning in confusion for a few moments, running over dates in his mind - Sam looked up at Dean and smiled. "I totally forgot? Man," he curled his fingers around the box. "What is it?" Turning the small box around in his hands he tilted his head slightly and grinned.

Laughing softly Dean secured the straps of his backpack over his shoulders and shrugged. "Why don't you open it and find out?" It made Dean a little sad that Sam had forgotten his own birthday but it wasn't as if the system did more than send hardly personalized card and foster parents very rarely celebrated it.

Pulling the rough paper off the small box Sam folded it up and then slipped the top off the box. Glancing up at Dean, Sam's eyes crinkled as he smiled then he looked back down and pulled out a small silver pendent. It was silver, a Celtic knot above two hands holding a heart with a crown on it. "I love it, Dean," Sam yanked it out of the box and thrust the box into Dean's hand so he could slip it down over his head. "It's Celtic... the knot." Sam's smile was making his cheeks ache. Not only had Dean remembered his birthday but he'd given him something that he could wear all the time. "I really love it."

Pleased with his choice, Dean smiled bright to match Sam's and reached out to straighten the pendant on Sam's neck. "I'm glad. I... it kind of has meaning to it but I just thought it looked cool too." He blushed slightly and slid his hand around Sam's neck, squeezing softly. "Looks good on you," Dean barely had to dip down at all to meet Sam's gaze and he caught his bottom lip between his teeth. "I guess you can see it like, a promise uh, necklace." He chuckled softly and shrugged, reluctant to drop his hand from Sam's neck.

"What's the meaning?" Sam stepped closer and curled his fingers around Dean's wrist. He had noticed that Dean didn't touch him as much as before and figured maybe he was worried that Sam would take it the wrong way. Or, it was some Dean type of thing where he over-thought everything. Either way, it was sweet so Sam curled his fingers tighter, thumb brushing over the tender underside of Dean's wrist.

Blushing brightly Dean looked down, dropping the empty box to his side and reaching out to hook a finger in Sam's belt loop as he took a step closer into the boy. "It um, it's kind of an Irish tradition. _Technically_ it's a wedding ring thing. When it's a ring you wear the heart up when you're taken and down when you're not. But that's just, I mean, um, I mean that in that in the least awkward way possible?" Dean forced a small laugh and looked up at Sam under his lashes.

"So," Sam felt a shiver of something slide down his back, something warm and sweet and kind of exhilarating, "it doesn’t mean anything like that then? To you, I mean?" Dropping his gaze he traced the vein on Dean's wrist with his thumb; he was always surprised at how soft Dean's skin was. A smile flitted across his face and he chewed on the inside of his cheek, nervously.

"What like? Am I asking you to marry me?" Dean smirked, skin tingling from the feel of Sam's thumb dragging across it. "Maybe not quite that serious. But... it means something to me. It's kind of a symbol of love and affection... and the way I see you, it's, you know, more than just a friendship. But you knew that." Dean's voice seemed to be getting softer now and deeper, a quiet breath shared between just them and Dean found himself wetting his lips slowly.

Sam had felt a blush start to creep up his neck and move over his cheeks while Dean was speaking. "Didn't think you were asking me to marry you," he murmured. His eyes moved up slowly, past Dean's glistening lips, over his freckles to his eyes. "More than friendship." Sam liked that because he needed for their friendship to always be there and building something on top of that couldn't be a bad thing. Blinking Sam let go of Dean's wrist so he could press his hand over the other boy's heart. "You're my best friend," he said softly.

That little tightening in his heart he got sometimes when he was around Sam only strengthened now and Dean sucked in a soft breath, surprised by how warm every part of him felt. The hand on Sam's neck curled around to the back to slip between silky hairs. "Sam," he whispered, feeling like this one of those _moments_ , the kind you might see in movies or read about in books. Sam was fifteen now, which for some reason seemed years older than fourteen, and Dean swayed forward slightly. "Can I... kiss you?" Dean's eyes were fixed now on Sam's lips, nerves sparking across his skin.

The words sent a flare of warmth shimmering through Sam's body and his lips parted in a gasp. He stared at Dean for a few moments, lips parted and nodded slowly as his fingers curled up into a fist on Dean's t-shirt. "Yeah," he whispered. His nerves tingled to life as a smile moved on and off his lips quickly.

Swallowing thickly Dean wet his lips once more and shifted closer to Sam, palms growing suddenly damp as the true weight of the situation rocked through him. He couldn't believe he was about to kiss Sam, his first _real_ kiss if you didn't count that one time in the closet at Nicole's party when he was twelve. Which he didn't count. Their noses bumped on his first attempt and they fell back almost in unison, laughing nervously before the sound faded away. Dean made sure to tilt his head to the side on his second attempt and this time his lips connected more firmly with Sam's, slanting slightly open across soft silk. Dean tentatively parted his lips wider, fingers curling into the back of Sam's hair as he pressed a little harder, a little surer.

Sam's eyes closed as Dean's lips moved over his and his heart started jack-rabbiting so fast in his chest he felt dizzy. Lips parting under the pressure from Dean's, Sam melted forward into his friend and fell against his chest. Suddenly, every muscle in Sam's body felt weak and almost useless and an unfamiliar heat flooded through his body and settled low and heavy in his belly. A soft moan bubbled up out of Sam, surprising him and making him grip the front of Dean's t-shirt harder.

At the noise from Sam's mouth and the way he held tighter onto him, Dean stepped as close as possible and half turned them, pushing Sam up against the wall as his lips pressed harder into the boy's. He held him there only because it felt like they might both just collapse from the sudden pleasure of it all if they didn't have something steady to hold them up. A moan of his own left his lips as Dean's tongue slid slowly forward and traced along Sam's lips, silently asking for entrance into the boy's mouth. Every part of Dean was suddenly thrumming _Sam_ and he'd never been so hard, so fast in his life.

Sam's skin was crawling with sensation, nerves and heat sparking along every inch of skin. His arms circled up around Dean's neck, fingers slipping into the soft curls at the back of the other boy's neck. Drawing in a deep breath through his nose, Sam opened his mouth for Dean as his own tongue moved forward shyly. Sam had never kissed anyone and if _this_ was what kissing felt like he was pretty sure he never wanted to stop.

Tongue sliding out to meet Sam's, Dean groaned quietly and twisted his finger free of Sam's belt loop, curving around the hipbone and pushing up enough to feel the soft creamy skin above the boy's jeans. Their tongues moved together now and it was almost too _much_. Dean had to force himself not to rub his hips hard into Sam's, just barely tested a slight forward motion that sent pleasure sparking up his spine and a loud moan into the kiss. His hand pushed a little higher up under Sam's shirt and barely slid over the soft skin.

Goosebumps raced up Sam's chest and he couldn't help grabbing a fistful of Dean's hair. It felt like his cheeks were on fire, his chest was aching and like all the sound had been sucked out of the world around them. The rough brick of the wall grated against Sam's back and he shifted slightly, hips sliding across Dean's. Sam started as heat flew through his body and he pulled back slightly, gasping for air as soon as their lips parted.

Panting softly, Sam kept hold of Dean and finally tried to swallow. "That, uh..." He felt almost sleepy, heavy and weak and smiled crookedly. "I _really_ liked that." His eyes were on Dean's, fingers loosening their grasp on his friend's hair.

Nodding slowly, Dean wet his lips and smiled at the taste of Sam lingering there. "Yeah, I _really_ liked that too," he brushed his lips against Sam's once more then let their foreheads rest together. "We can do that again yeah?" Dean asked with a soft and warm chuckle.

Sam nodded quickly as he let his arms slide down Dean's arms. "My first kiss," he murmured then blushed because guys didn't say things like that out-loud. The problem was that Sam told Dean pretty much everything and never really worried anymore about being teased.

"Don't worry, mine too. First one that really counts." Dean bumped their noses together and stole another kiss, not wanting to step away from Sam just yet. "So... would it be weird. I mean, um, if I asked, like, um, you wanna be my boyfriend?" He grinned and blushed and closed his eyes all at once.

"No," Sam grinned, "I mean yes..." Sam's eyes widened and he blew out a breath and started over. "No, it's not weird, and yes." Leaning forward, Sam kissed Dean's bottom lip tentatively, still a little nervous that he would do it _wrong_ or not be quite as good as Dean. "The yes," he whispered against Dean's mouth, "was to the boyfriend part."

The past few months were pretty much the best of his life and Dean thought it was a little surreal that he now had a best friend _and_ a boyfriend. Meeting Sam was definitely the best thing that ever happened to him. "Good," he grinned and leaned forward to catch Sam's lips in another lingering kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam hated doing laundry. The laundry room was cold, the floor was hard, unfinished cement and the washing machine had a tendency to get unbalanced when more than one pair of jeans was in it. Sam was on machine duty - standing there staring at the white monstrosity waiting to see if it would start that freaky thumping and cranking sound that would mean he had to yank the lid open and move the clothes around. Sam hated that part too.

Sighing, he leaned back against the cold wall and closed his eyes. Dean was upstairs studying. It had been a couple of weeks since Sam's birthday. His fingers curled around the pendent Dean had given him and Sam didn't even bother trying not to smile. He had a boyfriend. Dean was amazing. Not only was Dean amazing, he was cool, a hell of a lot of fun, he liked playing soccer, roughhousing - there were so many things - _and_ there was the kissing. Sam could kiss Dean for hours. It was like lighting a fire inside his chest and letting it burn slowly through his entire body. He knew there was so much more they could do but, aside from some stolen touches of bare flesh, Dean was sticking to his guns about Sam being too young for much more. Truthfully, Sam was glad. It wasn't that he questioned how he felt about Dean or how his boyfriend felt - it was just that - here - in _this_ place? It didn't seem right.

"What you up to, Samuel?"

Brian's voice jolted Sam from his thoughts and he pushed off the wall quickly. The washing machine started to thump just as Sam looked over at Brian and Sam lunged forward to pull the lid up before the machine got too unbalanced. "S..Sorry, was thinking about my homework."

Sam jammed his hands down into the cold water, Brian insisted they save money by washing in cold, and tried to tug the jeans apart so they weren't all bunched up on one side of the machine. He sensed more than felt Brian's presence behind him and froze the instant before he felt Brian's arms circle around him to rest on the top of the machine.

"Washer giving you some trouble, Sammy?" Brian's lips were right beside Sam's ear and he recoiled slightly, stopping only when he realized he was trapped in the circle of Brian's arms.

"It's... it's fine," Sam stuttered, leaning forward over the machine to tug at the jeans frantically.

He was slightly relieved when he saw Brian's hand disappear from the machine then nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt the man's hand settle on the small of his back. "You need a hand? You look a little worked up?"

 _Fuck_. There had never been any love lost between Sam and Brian but Sam had done a pretty good job of staying out of the man's way. This? _This_ , whatever _this_ was made Sam's throat clench tight and he suddenly felt a little sick. All his instincts were telling him to get the hell out of there. Taking a step back Sam realized that Brian was still between him and the door. "I..." Sam swallowed and flipped the lid back down so the machine started up. "I have a paper, homework that I should do." He gestured toward the door weakly.

Brian just took a step closer and smiled.

Dean didn't have to hear anything or really see more than Brian's back blocking the doorway to know that something was off. Of course, he'd always been a little suspicious of Brian. The man seemed to spend _way_ too much time watching Sam and it had been that way from the very first day he showed up. So it wasn't that big of an issue to slide between the small gap between Brian and the doorway and make his appearance seem casual. "Hey Sam, I heard the machine clanking, got it fixed?" That had been the reason he'd come down anyway so he wasn't even lying. He gave Brian a forced smile, "Brian, what's up?"

"Sam and I have this under control, Dean. Go on back upstairs. We're just having a talk." Brian's gaze didn't waver from Sam's face.

Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, Sam's eyes darted over to Dean's. He just wanted to get the hell out of there, it wasn't that he _knew_ what was going to happen but he didn't want to find out. The heat from Brian's hand still lingered on Sam's back and he tugged at the front of his t-shirt nervously. "Hey, Dean," he whispered. If there were ever a time when he needed Dean to hear the silent plea in his voice it was now.

"Actually I needed Sam's help," Dean wracked his mind, trying to think of something that wouldn't get either of them in trouble. "I knocked over the lamp," he said quickly and shrugged. "Which I know isn't a big deal only some of it got under the bed and I can't get under there, so I need Sam's help. I'm sorry Brian; I can totally pay for it." Dean smiled apologetically and resisted the urge to reach out and grab Sam's hand.

Brian dragged his eyes from Sam's face and turned to face Dean.

Sam shifted to the side, watching Brian's expression change to one of annoyance.

"I'll help," Sam slide along the front of the washer and dryer until he was past Dean and slipped just outside the door, waiting.

"You boys should be more careful." Brian's head tilted to the side as he stared at Dean for a few moments before turning toward the door.

Sam backed up a few steps so Brian could pass.

"We'll talk later, Sammy," he said as he brushed past him.

Shuddering, Sam slid along the wall until Dean came back out of the laundry room and Sam could grab his sleeve and tug him toward the stairs.

They didn't stop until they were safely behind a closed door and Dean spun Sam toward him, hands curling around his shoulders. "What was that? Did he touch you?" Dean growled slightly, fingers sliding across Sam's arms and up through his hair, back down his chest as if there would be physical marks from anything Brian could have done.

Rattled, Sam blinked a few times before he could answer. "Yeah, no, I mean yeah he did - but just like, on my back." Sam shuddered again and slipped his arms around Dean's waist and leaned against him. "I..didn't know what to do - I mean, it's not like he did anything wrong. But I couldn't get out and he had his arms round me on the... on the - against the machine," Sam sucked in a breath and buried his face in Dean's neck. He had _no_ idea why the entire situation had rattled him so badly. It was a single touch, an exchange of words and Sam had never felt more shaken up by anything. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

"Don't be sorry, I'm gonna kill the fucker," Dean mumbled and pulled Sam hard into him, wrapping arms tight around his shoulders and squeezing him. "I don't know what he had in mind but I sure as hell am not going to let him lay a finger on you. From now on you're going nowhere without me when he's home." His mind was reeling. Brian had never tried anything with him in the whole time he'd been here but then, Dean was one of those people who came naturally filled out almost and probably didn't seem as appealing as someone like Sam. And yeah, he got that but _not_ from Brian's perspective. "You okay?" He whispered against Sam's ear.

Nodding, Sam stepped back a little and dropped his gaze. "Yeah, m'sorry. Probably just being stupid." The last thing that Sam wanted was Dean getting mad at Brian and having a big fight. If Dean was kicked out, well, part of Sam would die. Yeah, it was dramatic and a bit _teenage-angsty_ but Sam didn't want to lose a moment with Dean. He'd had a lot of years of having no one. Scratching at the back of his head, Sam smiled nervously. "I don't," making himself meet Dean's gaze again his smile faded, "don't get into it with Brian, okay?"

Frowning slightly Dean dropped his hands and rubbed them against his thighs before stuffing them into his pockets. "I'm not just going to start something for no reason just... I won't let him hurt you either." He shrugged and leaned against the wall. "I just want to look out for you. Nothing wrong with that right?" Dean gave Sam the briefest smile before looking back down once more.

Shaking his head, Sam smiled crookedly. "Nothing wrong with that at all." He sighed and stepped closer to Dean again, feeling some of the tension drain out of his body. "Sorry, that kind of messed with my head - and you know how you always say I think too much about things? Well, I did and then I guess I thought what if you and he got into it and then Brian made you leave... and..."

Closing the distance between them Sam pushed up onto his toes slightly to crash his mouth kind of hard into Dean's. The feel of Brian's hand on his back still lingered there like something nasty and oily and Sam wanted it to go away. Grabbing for Dean's hand, Sam guided his boyfriend's arm around his own waist, urging Dean to hold him.

Dean fell easily into his boyfriend, pressing his hand hard into the small of Sam's back and dragging him as close as possible. Their lips slid together, familiar and warm and Dean moaned as quietly as possible, free arm wrapping over his shoulders and tightening. He wanted to ease the rest of the tension in Sam's body, wanted to make him forget about anything that could have been.

Turning them, Dean pressed him gently into the wall so he could cover him with warmth and pull him from the tense moment. Dean's fingers slid up into Sam's hair and pulled their lips apart slightly, kissing along his jaw and to his neck. "We're okay, always okay," he murmured softly into his skin and kissed back up, nearly mapping Sam's face with the gentle press of lips.

"MMhmmm." Sam’s murmur was his answer. Sighing happily, he arched his body forward off the wall and caught his bottom lip between his teeth when his hips bumped across Dean's. Sam's lashes fluttered open and he swallowed hard, eyes locking with Dean's. Heat was rushing him through Sam's body in waves, one simple brush of their hips and just like always - Sam _wanted_.

For a while they'd been dancing the line between doing _more_ but too many factors were keeping them from crossing that line. Sam's age for one and the fact that Brian was somewhere still in the house and could feasibly walk in at any more. Of course that didn't stop Dean from wanting _more_. "Sam," he whispered and, out of his control, his hips rocked forward to meet Sam's. His fingers pulled at Sam's collar, shifting it to the side so he could suck along the flesh and not worry about any mark he may accidentally leave.

"God," Sam whispered quietly. The fact that they could be caught just added to the _heat_ of the situation, having to struggle to be quiet. They hadn't done much, hadn't progressed far beyond kissing and the moment that Dean's mouth was latched onto Sam's neck he could hardly breathe. His hands circled round automatically to settle over Dean's hips, fingers scratching over the denim of his boyfriend's jeans.

"Dean..." Sam's voice was low, a gentle, deeper rumble somewhere deep in his chest. Letting himself sag against Dean's body, Sam knew he would fall if Dean weren't holding him up; his knees were weak and every time Dean whispered his name Sam could feel himself get a little harder. It was like some kind of crazy torture.

The only logical step now would be for Dean to back away. If he wanted to ensure they didn't go too far at least. His hand slid up under Sam's shirt and across his chest, brushing over his nipple once before withdrawing.

Dean inhaled sharply and forced himself to step back, panting slightly. "S-sorry, got uh, carried away there." _God_ he just wanted to throw Sam down on the bed and do a whole bunch of things he couldn't even name to him. But he knew it wasn't an option and he dug his hands up into his hair and blew a sharp breath between his lips.

Sam felt a little like he’d been hit by a truck. His hand moved up to his t-shirt and pressed down against the flesh that Dean's hand had just brushed over. It was too fast and gone too soon and Sam's heart was still beating so fast it felt like it might fly right out of his chest. Nodding slowly, he realized his mouth was still open and snapped it shut quickly, and then smiled sheepishly. "Maybe, tonight..." he dropped his gaze to the wrinkled material of Dean's t-shirt.

Dragging his teeth over his lower lip Dean stepped in once more and hooked a finger in Sam's belt loop. "Maybe tonight what?" He smiled slightly and let his finger extend to brush over the patch of flesh peeking between Sam's shirt and jeans.

Muscles contracting under Dean's touch, the flush on Sam's cheeks darkened. "I could," he licked his lips and curled his fingers over Dean's arm, "sleep in your bed... or even stay there for just a while."

His eyes widened as he thought Dean might protest and he spoke quickly, "I could put the chair under the door, and... and, I'll be quiet. If you want I won't even... well, I will touch you," his brow furrowed as he tried to think of ways to persuade Dean. He just wanted to be there, with his boyfriend.

Smiling slowly Dean nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that. You in my bed. That one time, despite the circumstances, was amazing... and then, whatever happens." Dean could think of a few things he'd like to do with Sam, more than a few things, but he had to test the waters first. Dean tilted in to brush a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips once more and slid the finger along Sam's stomach just under the waist line, _teasing_.

"Wh..Whatever happens?" Sam's tongue darted out to brush over his bottom lip. Even that slight touch of Dean's finger was driving him crazy. Swallowing thickly Sam stepped closer again, following Dean as he moved back. "What might happen?"

The smile on his lips turned more into a smirk and Dean twisted his finger lower beneath Sam's jeans and boxers. The skin was even softer here and Dean felt the sharp thrill of untouched territory. "Depends on what you're comfortable with? I understand taking it slow... and being here." Dean could feel the radiating heat from Sam's arousal, so close he thought one little push might actually bring the swollen flesh into reach and he had to swallow thickly to resist the urge.

Sam was finding it quite hard to breath and his mind was racing. Dean's finger was so close to his dick, Sam was nearly ready to leap out of his skin. "Comfortable," he echoed, blinking slowly, "what you comfortable with?" He sucked in a sharp breath as Dean's fingers moved to the side and reached out to slip his own fingers under the hem of Dean's t-shirt. Eyes locked with Dean's, Sam gave him a stubborn look. Apparently, teasing was okay at the moment. Dean's skin was warm and the smirk slid off Sam's face quickly. Flattening his hand he slid his palm up over Dean's abs, feeling them flutter beneath his hand.

"M'comfortable with just about... everything." Dean whispered and pushed his finger deeper, throwing the slow steps to the wind. A sharp hiss seemed to fall from his lips as his finger brushed just along the tip of Sam's dick, slicking through a small dollop of precome. "Oh Jesus Christ," he exhaled sharply and nearly pulled his finger back just because it suddenly seemed like _too_ much. "I think. I think tonight... touching? Maybe?” Dean suggested, voice low and deep with his clear and obvious arousal.

Sam's body jolted forward. No one had ever touched his dick before, well, no one but him and _Jesus_ it was pretty damn overwhelming. "D..Dean," he murmured. His own voice was nearly as low as Dean's and Sam stepped a little closer, pressing up against Dean's thigh and rocking forward a little. That tingling feeling was back and racing down his spine and Sam had to close his eyes for a moment. Swaying forward, he pressed against Dean's thigh again and moaned softly, fingers moving slowly up along the mid-line of Dean's chest. "Should we," Sam's lips puffed out a small breath and he leaned up to drag his lips slowly along Dean's jaw. The older boy's stubble tickled Sam's lips and his smiled. "We should wait, later," he was panting softly.

"Y-yeah," Dean nodded slowly against Sam's head and lips around him. "Dinner's soon and..." Once more Dean's finger sought out Sam's flesh and he moaned low in his throat before swiftly pulling back, knowing he was teasing them both too much. Still, Dean glanced down at his liquid slick finger and couldn't help bringing it up to his lips, sucking off the salty smear. "Um." His eyes flickered up to Sam's and he flushed brightly, wondering if he could literally come just from the look on his boyfriend's face. "Dinner."

Sam was pretty sure his eyes were the size of saucers and equally sure that he was going to come in his jeans if he moved. Dean was about the hottest thing Sam had ever seen - way hotter than any of the porn mags he'd managed to sneak looks at over the years and certainly hotter than anyone at their high school.

Sam's lips moved slowly, trying to form words and he slid back from Dean's leg, squeezing his eyes shut at his dick throbbed uncomfortably in his jeans. The scent of Dean was everywhere around Sam and he was actually feeling a little like he was drunk.

"Shit, when's the earliest you think we could go to bed at?" Dean traced the taste of Sam over his lips and took another step back in effort not to pull Sam close again. "Also, _shit_ I need a cold shower or a sock." He grimaced slightly at the thought and clenched his eyes shut, trying to shut off the waves of desire swirling through him.

"A sock?" Sam blinked a few times and walked backwards until he bumped into the bed and sat down hard. The breath whooshed out of him and he laughed softly. "I can't stop thinking about it... you touching me." Scrubbing both hands over his face he groaned, "Brian and Jane go to the bedroom at about nine to watch TV, they never come to our room anyway." Peering at Dean through parted fingers didn't make him any less attractive.

Smiling softly Dean rubbed along the back of his neck and shifted in his jeans. "Okay... nine it is. So. Until then we'll just um... sit on opposite sides of the room and finish our homework." It was going to be next to impossible not to touch Sam for three more hours, especially since most of it would be spent in the room but he'd give it a shot.

"You're kidding right?" Sam's voice was a little too high-pitched for his liking.

"What?" Dean stared wide eyed at him. "You really want to risk doing, _things_ with Brian and Jane downstairs?" Though just thinking about it was a little hot. And he _really_ wanted to do something with Sam. It was doubly conspiring to driving him insane.

"No, I mean sit here and," Sam's eyes widened again and he stood, "laundry. I should go put the clothes in the dryer." Sam shuffled forward a little hoping Dean would offer to go so Sam wouldn't have to face off against Brian again.

"Not alone though," Dean stepped forward, shaking his head. "What if Brian is waiting for you down there? I'll go with and we'll stay on either side of the room. Nothing will calm us down more than being down there." And Dean wasn't taking any chances with what happened earlier.

Adjusting himself in his jeans, Sam grimaced. "Yeah, ain't that the truth." Padding over to the door he curled his fingers around the doorknob. "Ready?" Pressing his lips together he half-smiled at Dean over his shoulder.

That was one of a thousand smiles Sam had that made Dean's heart skip a beat. "Yeah, let's go." He nodded and followed Sam out the room, stepping just close enough when he pulled the door open to press up against Sam's back. "Don't worry, I won't leave you."

-=-=-=-

They spent the next half hour until dinner in the laundry room, even folding their clothes on top of the dryer slowly and pretending like the occasional bump of the shoulder was nothing more than a coincidence. It was easier to calm the rush of blood through his body when Jane came into the kitchen and started moving around. Dean couldn't even fathom what they'd do to either of them if they caught them together. He got chills just thinking about it.

Dinner was an even more awkward affair. Brian got to the table first and demanded Sam sit beside him, leaving Dean to quickly rush around and take the seat opposite of Sam. It wouldn't do much help but they could both extend their outer legs and hook them together. And Dean flinched every time Sam shifted quickly away as if Brian had touched his thigh. By the time they'd finished eating Sam's face was so red Dean couldn't tell whether it was from embarrassment or anger. He thought a good mixture of both.

So immediately after the plates were cleared Dean asked Jane if they could walk to the park because their homework was done. It wasn't but no one had to know that. They were hardly a block away before Sam was stopping and sucking in deep lungfuls of air. Dean made a vow that they'd come down to dinner early from then on out. And he was going to trail Sam so much that he'd even follow him to the bathroom door.

It was dark by the time they had calmed down enough to stand being in the same house with Brian once more. Dean was itching to comfort Sam with his own touches, helping Sam think of something other than Brian. But there was still an hour until Jane and Brian would go in for the night so they forced themselves to actually sit on opposite sides of the room and finish their homework.

Of course they both caught each other staring more than half a dozen times but that was to be expected. By the time nine ten rolled around Dean was itching to climb across the bed and wipe that lingering look of sadness from Sam's eyes. He listened with baited breath as first Jane headed up the stairs, heels clicking along the floor as she moved to her room and the door squeaked open. Not five minutes later Dean heard the stairs creek once more, heavier steps that almost seemed to pause outside their doorway before traveling on down the hall.

They listened for a few minutes more than Dean heard the low murmur of the TV through the walls, always up almost too loud to be normal. But he didn't listen any more. Instead he was snapping his book shut and climbing of his own bed, nearly leaping across the room and tackling Sam down into his bed, pinning him there. "Hello," he breathed, falling between Sam's legs.

"Wow," Sam smiled up at his boyfriend, "hi." He couldn't help glancing over Dean's shoulder at the door. "Can we put the chair there?" The day had rattled him. It was the strangest mixture to be so turned on, thinking about Dean's hands on him - then struggling with the rather sudden changes in Brian. At dinner, Brian had kept shifting closer and Sam was pretty certain he had felt Brian's hand on his leg at once point. It was disgusting and creepy and Sam needed to just shake it off. "Please?"

"Yeah Sammy, whatever you want," Dean murmured and dipped down, sliding his lips slowly over Sam's neck. He'd only been thinking about this all day it felt like and his hands rubbed soothingly against Sam's sides. "I love the way you taste," he whispered into Sam's neck and sucked across his Adam’s apple once before kissing up this jaw. "Tell me how I can make you feel better," Dean said against his ear.

"Dean," Sam pushed his boyfriend back a little and struggled for a few moments trying to wriggle out from under him. "The door, I need to put the chair there..." All Sam could think about was Brian coming down the hall and ruining this when it should be something really special. Sighing, he gave up trying to get free and flopped back on the bed.

Nodding slowly, Dean forced himself up and slid off the bed. Another moment away but Dean was tapping into his patience just because Sam was worth it. He moved toward the desk and pulled out the chair, wedging it firmly under the door handle and turning the lock just in case, even though they had a key. The double protection couldn't hurt. Next he flipped off the main lights and crossed the room to turn on the lamp on the nightstand that he hadn't really broken but forgot all about. "Okay? Is that better?" He asked quietly, crawling to Sam's side on the bed.

"Thank you," Sam shifted a little closer and draped his wrist over Dean's waist. "I'm sorry - I just, _God_ I just want to punch him." And there was anxiety building in Sam's chest, eating away at him. What would happen if he were alone with Brian? Dean couldn't be there all the time and there was Dean's eighteenth birthday. _That_ was like a huge flashing fuckin’ warning sign.

Sighing, Sam looked up at his boyfriend. "What you gonna do when you leave here? You gonna get a place real close?" He kept his voice quiet, wanting to build back up to that sense of secret comfort between the two of them.

"As close as possible," Dean nodded and brushed hair back on Sam's temple. "Hey maybe over the summer we can look at places together? You can help me pick. And we can pick up stuff to put in there. What do you think?" He smiled slightly and dipped down to press their lips softly together.

"I can come stay with you sometimes?" Sam's heart fluttered happily at the words, or maybe it was the kiss, didn't really matter. "Will _they_ let me?" His fingers slipped under Dean's t-shirt, brushing in small circles over his back.

"Mm I was thinking about that," Dean murmured and began kissing along Sam's jaw once more, open mouth sliding along Sam's jaw. "Maybe you could sneak out sometimes? If you felt comfortable? Because they're never home when we get up in the morning, they've left already, so you could stay over and they'd never know. I mean, if you wanted." He sucked Sam's ear lobe between his lips and dragged his teeth slowly over the flesh.

It was hard for Sam to concentrate on Dean's words while he was teasing him with his lips. Eyes closed, fear and worry slowly seeping out of him, Sam stretched his neck back to let Dean move wherever he wanted. "I can," he licked his lips, "I can do that for you." The idea of being away from here, wrapped up in Dean's arms sent the last of Sam's anxiety fading away. Turning into Dean's hair, Sam breathed in slowly, "Dean?" He spoke softly not wanting to break the spell of peace that was settling over them.

Fingers curling under Sam's shirt slightly, Dean hummed low in his throat against Sam's neck. "Yeah Sam?" He managed to whisper and his hips rocked softly just barely, curious as to how the pleasure could shoot through him so very fast. Like Sam was some type of drug consuming him.

"What are we-" Sam's breath hissed out as Dean's fingers ghosted across his side. He was ticklish normally but _this_ , this - the way Dean touched him just sent waves of sensation rippling up Sam's body.

"What are we gonna do?" Sam turned onto his side and slid his hand up along the over-heated flesh of Dean's back. He loved the feel of his boyfriend's smooth skin and curled his fingers slightly to scrape his nails over it.

Slipping down a few inches Dean sucked low on Sam's collarbone, knowing the area would be easier to cover. "Well, what do you feel comfortable doing?" It had been too many times teasing working against Dean and he had to force himself from just _taking_ from Sam. He smiled up at him for a moment before pushing at Sam's shirt, laying his forehead over Sam's heart. "I don't want to push you into anything."

"You're not pushing me." Sam could feel the flush on his cheeks. "I like kissing; kissing is good and this..." Sam shivered in Dean's embrace and reached down to smooth his hands over his boyfriend's hair before sliding them down his neck to rub gently at his shoulders. "Can I," Sam swallowed and arched his body up a little against Dean's, "maybe I could kiss you on your neck and stuff like you do to me." Sam had been having some _seriously_ hot dreams about Dean's body lately and was pretty cranked up by the idea of being able to taste Dean's flesh, bite, explore just a little. "And more."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd like that," Dean almost shivered at the thought and crawled back up Sam's body, dropping to his side. "Only I think we should both take our shirts off. You know... just too um, feel more?" He smiled as close to innocent as the lust on his face would let him. Dean was pretty sure Sam would see right through it.

Laughing softly, Sam slid his arms down so he could grab the hem of Dean's t-shirt and pull it up. "Okay," he grinned. He could see how turned on Dean was, he could _feel_ and the idea of being in bed with Dean and with hardly any clothes on - well - shit.

Shifting up Sam tugged on Dean's shirt until his boyfriend lifted up, wriggled, got stuck in his t-shirt and finally managed to get it off. Sam couldn't help laughing quietly; he even covered his mouth at one point. "Dude, you're so smooth," he whispered. Sitting up slowly Sam crossed his arms and pulled his shirt up and off then lay back down again reaching up to curl his hand over the back of Dean's neck and pull him closer. "I like the feel of you on-" his train of thought was completely lost when Dean's weight sank back down on his chest. " _Jesus_ ," he whispered against Dean's ear.

Moaning softly, Dean's head fell to the side as heat seeped up through him. "God, Sam, figured you were a bottom." He grinned and pushed up enough to meet Sam's gaze, shaking his head. "Not that I'm saying we're gonna... but, you know," he shrugged and looked to the side, blushing softly. "Sorry, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut and just-" Dean cut off as Sam's lips grazed his skin and decided giving into the pleasure part sounded much more appealing at this point.

Sam took advantage of Dean's silence to lick and suck his way down his boyfriend's neck. It was such a mixture of sensations and tastes; the stubble on Dean's neck was scratching Sam's lips and he loved the raw feel of it. There was a salty tinge to Dean's skin and Sam lapped at it wanting to draw it all into his mouth and roll the flavour around on his tongue. He could feel Dean's muscles rippling as he moved ever-so-slightly above Sam. "Dean." Sam pushed gently at his boyfriend's chest, "Roll onto your back."

Heart thumping loudly Sam blinked up at his boyfriend. "I wanna touch you," he bit down on his bottom lip, staring up at Dean from under his lashes. _God_ he loved the feeling of being trapped under Dean - pinned there but he wanted to explore his boyfriend's body, find all the spots that made Dean moan and twist like Sam did.

Meeting Sam's gaze for a long moment Dean considered him before slowly nodding. "Okay, yeah." He smiled briefly for a moment before falling to the side. He was glad he left the lamp light on so he could see Sam's skin and the curve of his lips. And more importantly the bulge in Sam's jeans. Dean couldn't tear his eyes away or resist the urge to extend his hand and lay his palm over the hard line. Dean bit down hard on his bottom lip and rolled it slowly under his teeth.

Sam's lips parted and the strangest sound rolled out of him, it was a half-moan half-sob sound. Dean's hand covering his dick was so warm even through his jeans and the heat just seemed to catch everything on fire. Little shock waves of pleasure rippled over Sam's skin. Lurching up off the mattress he twisted and stared down at Dean's bare chest. "Can I?"

"Whatever you want Sam." Dean nodded quickly and settled a hand high on Sam's arm. "I want it, anything." He dragged his tongue across his lips and resisted squirming under the too soft touch of Sam's hand.

Eyes locked with Dean's for as long as possible Sam leaned down and pressed his lips to Dean's neck. He was shy at first, unsure, but soon Dean's fingers were tangling in his hair and pushing him gently - guiding him. Sam got the drunk feeling again just from the smell of Dean's body, the heat that was radiating up off of him. Moaning softly Sam licked his way down his boyfriend's neck then dragged his teeth along the length of Dean's collar bone. Sucking up the skin Sam finally remembered to move his hands and slid one down over Dean's ribs to curl under his waist.

Dean needed to pull in deep breaths to steady himself, calm the racing of his heart and the desire to arch his hips up into Sam's touch. "God, I love how your lips feel," Dean sighed softly and slowly slid his fingers through Sam's hair. "So hot," this time his chest really did press up into Sam's lips and he let his head fall to the side, fingers on his free hand trying to touch every part of Sam possible.

Smiling against Dean's shoulder Sam slid down his body, hands moving over Dean's chest. Dean was strong, his chest felt firm and Sam could feel his muscles moving just under his skin. Licking and sucking Sam learned the curves of his boyfriend's chest. Looking up he blinked at Dean from under his hair, smile making its way slowly onto his swollen lips. "Okay?"

"Ya think?" Dean growled low in his throat and pushed up to peer down at Sam. "God Sam, look at how hard I am," he whispered and lifted his hips up as if to prove his point. "See how much I want you?" Dean could feel it, the hard pressure in his jeans and it almost all his control not to _make_ Sam feel.

Glancing down, Sam could see the way Dean's jeans were pulled tight across his hips. Eyes darting back up to Dean's face, Sam reached down and slid his palm over the hard line under the denim. Dean's face changed almost instantly, his body arching up into Sam's touch. "Dean..."

No one had ever touched him _there_ and even just the suggestion had him nearly pushing off the bed into Sam's touch. " _Fuck_ , Sam," he gasped and slid his hand toward the boy, caressing down his neck around his shoulder. "It's... just that, amazing." Dean stared down at his boyfriend, wetting his lips slowly.

Crawling back up Dean's body Sam crushed his mouth against Dean's. His aim was a little off, he was clumsy, and his heart was beating so fast that he was having trouble even moving. His kisses were frantic, tongue sliding forward to lick along Dean's bottom lip and further back into the heat of his boyfriend's mouth. It was almost _too_ much and Sam didn't know what to do first, where to move his hands, how to _breathe_.

Opening his mouth wide, Dean tilted his head back to grant more access for Sam's sweeping tongue. He had to pull back a few minutes later just because he thought he might lose control if he didn't. "I need something Sam, this is driving me crazy," he laughed, low and throaty and traced a finger down Sam's chest. "Can we, touch? Or um, something?" Really he just wanted his hand on Sam in some way, more skin pressing together just to get him there.

"You... you can touch me," Sam's eyes were heavy lidded. He was losing himself in the touching, the kissing - the whole thing was dizzying and Sam slid off Dean's body and pressed up against his side. Trying to keep his voice quiet Sam leaned closer to Dean's ear and ran his nose down the shell of his boyfriend's ear. "Maybe we should, get all the way into bed." Sam's breath hitched and he sucked on Dean's ear lobe, tongue flicking across the soft skin.

"Valid suggestion," Dean whispered and clambered back along the bed, twisting around until he was facing the right way on the bed. His fingers hesitated on his jeans for a moment before he undid the button and zipper and wiggled out of the confining material, sighing in relief when the pressure was loosened. Dean tossed the denim soundlessly to the floor and pulled the blanket back, smiling over at Sam and twisting his hips so the sight of how hard he really was wouldn't be so obvious.

Sam's gaze followed Dean's movements then he stood on shaky legs and shimmied out of his jeans. He stared down at Dean for a few moments, eyes trailing almost hungrily over the older boy's body them climbed into bed beside him. Waiting until the blanket was tugged back up over both of them Sam's fingers returned to Dean's skin, rubbing across the smooth skin of his chest. "M'nervous, a little," Sam whispered and nuzzled into Dean's neck.

Nodding in quiet agreement, Dean pushed his leg between Sam's and hooked his calf around the others. "Yeah, me too," he agreed in a quiet murmured and let his head tilt back to give Sam's lips more room to explore. "Like this. You and me here," Dean whispered and pressed his fingertips into Sam's chest, dragging down slowly. "We can both touch like this," Dean smiled softly and circled his finger around Sam's belly button.

Tilting his head slightly Sam closed his eyes and focused on everything. He concentrated on each little touch, every sound, from the rustling of the sheets to the gentle rasp of Dean's breath. Slipping an arm under Dean's neck Sam curled it so he could get his fingers back into Dean's hair - smooth and soft. His other hand trailed down Dean's side, bumping over the gentle rise of each rib only stopping when his little finger slid just under the soft cotton of Dean's boxers. Sam's eyes snapped to Dean's, a small smile playing on his lips.

Breath catching in his throat, Dean shifted up into Sam's touch slightly, urging him on. He almost couldn't believe they were here in this situation but he was definitely enjoying every moment of it. "Sam," he whispered and dipped forward to brush his lips against Sam's, pulling him in to deepen the kiss. It was like he could feel Sam all around him, fingers through his hair and so low on his body it was almost _touching_. Dean pushed forward a little harder, thrusting his tongue swift and hard into Sam's mouth.

Moaning quietly Sam shifted closer, fingers dipping down under the waistband of Dean's boxers. He sucked on Dean's tongue, pulling it deeper into his mouth and whimpering softly. Sam's long fingers curled hard into Dean's hair; it felt like that's what was holding him there, keeping him from flying right up off the bed each time Dean's hands moved. Slipping his fingers lower, Sam could feel the heat of his boyfriend's dick and hesitated for a moment, nervous. Then the intensity of Dean's kiss was all Sam could focus on. It was hard, a little rough and yet, still controlled and Sam trembled slightly as his spine arched forward. Stretching his arm further down Sam felt the rough curls around his boyfriend's dick, the hard flesh so hot where it bumped then rested against the back of Sam's hand.

Dean pulled back with a gasp, eyes fluttering closed at the too brief touch of Sam's skin against his own. He'd never felt anything like it, the instant heat consuming him and Dean pressed his lips together hard to keep from making too much noise. One hand lifted to drag Sam back in for a hard kiss, releasing a moan into his boyfriend's mouth as his free hand pulled at the elastic of Sam's boxers. Once more he fell back from the kiss and exhaled swiftly, forcing his gaze open to meet Sam's. "Boxers off?" He suggested if only because it would make it easier to touch as he wanted.

Blinking slowly, Sam rolled his bottom lip under his teeth and gazed into Dean's eyes. Loosening his grip on Dean's hair Sam dropped his gaze for a few moments, "that what you want?" Sam's voice was rough, thick with emotion and trembling with nerves. It felt like everything was suddenly going so fast and Sam's brain was struggling to keep up with his body.

"Dean..." Sam withdrew a little. He had _no_ experience with stuff like this; each time Dean moved against him the breath shot out of Sam's body and it was kind of frightening - that sense of losing control so easily. But, it was _Dean_ and it felt right. Sucking in a shallow breath Sam's brow furrowed with worry.

Sensing the moment slipping away Dean pulled back slightly and ran a hand slowly through Sam's hair. "Hey, it's okay. We don't have too. I just thought... for touching. But don't worry, we can wait." He smiled reassuringly at Sam and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "I'm not trying to push you into anything," Dean would do whatever it was Sam wanted and, truthfully, he was just as nervous as the boy.

"It's not that," Sam breathed quietly for a few moments trying to steady himself and clear his mind a little. Dean really was like a drug. "I..." he averted his eyes, fingers moving gently against Dean's belly, drawing circles and lines, a star, "just never done this before, _any_ of this." A smile worked its way back onto Sam's lips as he slid his fingers back down under the cotton of Dean's boxers. "Tell me," he grazed a finger down the hard length of his boyfriend's dick and his own eyelashes fluttered as he watched _want_ flare across Dean's face.

Sucking in a quick breath, Dean's shoulders shook with a shudder of pleasure and he blinked rapidly to clear the sparks in his eyes. "Damn," he whispered and arched forward into Sam's touch. "T-tell you?" Dean struggled to pull his thoughts into the moment and away from Sam's hand shoved down under his boxers. "Sam," he gasped as the finger was once more dragged up and grazed along the head. Clearly Sam was going to be the death of him, not that he was complaining about it.

"How..." Sam shifted lower so had could press his lips to Dean's chest, tongue finally finding and softly lapping at a hardened nipple. "How you want me to touch you," Sam murmured before sucking hard on Dean's nipple. Dean's body jolted and Sam couldn't help smiling - _he_ was making Dean feel this way. Flicking his tongue over the small nub of flesh Sam closed his teeth around it gently, waiting to see if Dean liked it.

A low growl worked through Dean's chest and his hand settled in Sam's hair, threading through the silky strands. "Y-you," he gasped and pushed up into Sam's mouth eagerly. "Want... want your hand." Dean breathed, at this point feeling like he just needed _something_ to help with the thick waves of pleasure coursing through him. His free hand slid around Sam's back, pressing down past his muscles and lower, as far as he could reach.

Shivering as the deep timbre of Dean's voice vibrated against his chest, Sam sucked harder on Dean’s coppery nipple then slid his hand lower. His fingers curled round Dean's hard flesh and he started. It was so full, hard and blazing with heat. The weight in Sam's palm was heavy and he moaned softly against Dean's chest, his own hips rolling forward unconsciously to press his dick up against Dean's thigh. Stroking the rigid, silky smooth skin, Sam squeezed his eyes shut and mouthed his way across Dean's chest, wet and clumsy.

"Jesus," Dean gasped and closed his eyes, hips moving up into Sam's hand. Surprisingly, Sam's hand felt large and wide over his skin, _so_ much better than his own. "Sam, Sam," Dean squirmed slightly on the mattress, pushing his head up to peer down at his boyfriend. "I wanna touch you too, with you. Please?" His lips twitched in a brief smile before he lost strength of his head and let it fall back to the bed.

Trailing his fingers down the length of Dean's shaft, Sam nodded almost imperceptibly, "okay," he murmured. He could feel Dean's hard flesh twitch across his palm and he curled his fingers tight around it - moving his fist up and down slowly like he did when he touched himself. Stretching his tall frame higher Sam dragged his tongue up Dean's neck and licked his boyfriend's mouth open for another deep kiss that sent tingles racing down his spine.

For the next few minutes Dean lost himself in the intensity of the kiss and the way Sam's hand continued to move over him. Then his body kicked into motion and he pushed at Sam slightly, rolling him onto the mattress and working a hand down under his boxers. His fingertips brushed along Sam's skin and he hesitated for a moment before curling his fingers along the base of his hard dick. Dean pulled back from the kiss and stared down at his boyfriend, gasping as Sam's hand tightened around him and pulled up, Dean matching the movement with his own stroke along Sam's skin.

The heat that flared in Sam's was all-consuming and for several moments he could barely breathe. It was all sensation and Sam's hips snapped up into Dean's grasp, his own hand slipping along Dean's fiery flesh. " _De_ an." Sam moaned his boyfriend's name and then gasped in some air as his body writhed under the touch.

For the briefest second Sam thought his heart would just stop beating as the tingling sensation built to a crescendo within him; the heat in his belly blossomed everywhere and Sam jolted forward as he came. His mouth opened in a startled O, eyes slamming shut as his body whipped forward to press against Dean. Dick pulsing and spurting his warm, heavy release in his boxers, Sam moaned loudly.

Dean stared through a haze of thick and heavy lust at the expression on Sam's face before he fell forward and crushed his lips over Sam's, capturing the noise before it could grow any louder. He could feel the slick heat from Sam's orgasm over his fingers as he continued to gently stroke Sam through the remainder of his release. Then Sam was sucking hard on his tongue and stroking him quick and fast in a way that could have been painful if it wasn't so _hot_. Dean's shoulders shook as he thrust forward into Sam's hand barely a dozen times before tipping over his peak and losing himself in his orgasm. He moaned into the kiss, pressing down harder as he rocked through his orgasm.

The way Sam's heart was beating he honestly thought he was going to have a heart attack and die of having a hot boyfriend. He wasn't even sure how he managed to keep his hand moving on Dean's dick because his brain sure wasn't controlling his body anymore. Dean's come was slick and hot and Sam loved the feel of it, _loved_ knowing that he made Dean feel that good. His own hips were still twitching every so often- his abs contracting as his orgasm worked its way through every inch of him. "Dean," he whimpered into his boyfriend's mouth pulling back just slightly.

Swirling his fingers gently through the come on Dean's belly Sam pulled his hand out, hesitated, and then slipped his fingers into his mouth to lick them clean. He watched the expression on Dean's face morph from surprise to lust and smiled. Sam knew it was hot - he'd watched _Dean_ do it. Bursting across his tongue, the flavor of Dean was unfamiliar, salty and a little bitter but not unpleasant. Lips curling into a slight smile Sam let his heavy eyelids fall to his cheeks for a few moments as he pulled his fingers from his mouth.

"I think you're not supposed to be so hot," Dean whispered, shaking his head slowly as he pulled his own hand free. He couldn't resist cleaning his hand off as well and smirking when Sam's eyes blinked open and stared up at him. "That was, way hot. A lot hotter than I thought. I mean, I knew it would be but- yeah," Dean inhaled shakily and shifted on the mattress, wincing at the cooling come in his boxers. "You good?" He pressed his lips to Sam's chest, smiling softly.

Sam nodded quickly. "M'sorry 'bout," he pressed his lips together to hide his smile, "it was _too_ good." Wrinkling his nose slightly Sam combed his fingers through Dean's hair then let his arms circle Dean's neck to hold him close. "I feel weird now, tired..." Sam yawned and lowered his lips to kiss the top of Dean's head. Limp and weak he lay there, soaking up Dean's warmth and basking in the lingering sensation of pleasure that was still running through him.

Chuckling softly Dean wrapped his arm around Sam's middle and squeezed softly. "Yeah, post orgasm sleepiness," he sighed quietly and pressed another kiss to Sam's chest. "We'll build up to more, longer lasting I mean." Dean grinned and lifted his head up to catch Sam's lips in a soft kiss. "We should clean up a bit, think you can move?"

"Don't want to," Sam muttered and tightened his hold on Dean's neck. He laughed softly against Dean's mouth, tongue gliding forward lazily.

Humming softly, Dean rolled over Sam's body and to the other side, gingerly falling off the edge of the bed. "Don't worry; I'll take care of you." He grinned down at his boyfriend and padded quickly over to their drawers, snagging them both a pair of boxers and heading back to Sam's side. Dean turned to the side slightly to pull his own boxers off and use them to clean up the leftover come on his skin before stepping into his fresh pair. When he turned back Sam was still watching him and he grinned, pulling the blanket back. "You really gonna make me dress you?"

"Yup, s'my birthday?" Sam caught his bottom lip between his teeth and pushed his hips up off the bed to shove his boxers down slightly until he could manage to kick out of them. One foot fell off the bed, landing with a gentle thud on the floor and Sam turned to smile at his boyfriend.

Laughing quietly, Dean shook his head. "It is not. But I'm not complaining," he curled his fingers over his used boxers, finding a still dry patch and using it to gently wipe low on Sam's body. Dean tried not to stare too openly down at his boyfriend's pale body. Sam was skinny and tall and pretty damn gorgeous all things considered. "I think you should know you're pretty much the hottest guy I've ever seen," Dean murmured and grinned down at Sam, snagging his clean boxers and helping him wiggle into them.

Tossing the dirty boxers into the hamper Dean climbed back onto the bed and settled at Sam's side, catching his lips in another lingering kiss. "I'm quite fond of you," he whispered, smiling bright and open at Sam as he fell back from the kiss.

Beaming a smile at his boyfriend, Sam shifted closer and buried his face in Dean's neck. "I'm pretty sure I love you, Dean." It came out as a rushed whisper and Sam froze there, suddenly wishing he could take the words back. It wasn't that he didn't feel it, he did - in so many ways but he didn't want Dean to think he was being some stupid kid - caught up in the moment.

Never in his entire life had anyone ever told Dean that they loved him. It was odd, in a good way, the way his heart skipped a beat an almost giddy, surprised laugh left his lips. He could feel Sam pulling away, obviously misunderstanding the laugh, and Dean pulled him back, tilting his chin up with one curved finger under the skin. "You love me? Really?" The corner of Dean's lip quirked up in a small smile, cheeks coloring in a pleased flush. "No one's ever loved me before."

Sam's brows furrowed slightly and he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Dean's lips. "Then I'll have to love you even more," he whispered. Closing his eyes Sam rested his cheek on Dean's shoulder and nestled into the older boy's side. Nothing would ever compare to how good it felt to be there with Dean, sleepy, warm and happy. _Nothing_.

"Hey," Dean's arm wrapped firm and secure around Sam's body and he pressed a kiss to the top of Sam's head. "I love you too. More than I've ever loved anyone." He smiled into Sam's hair and breathed in his scent, basking in the happy flutter coursing through him.


	4. Chapter 4

A few weeks passed and the boys were out of school for the summer, Dean fresh with his diploma, and both were looking forward to having a full summer to themselves. Well, for the most part. Both picked up more shifts at Dairy Queen and Sam made the decision that all the extra money was going to be saved to help Dean out with securing a place to live. Especially considering they both intended to have Sam come live there as soon as he turned eighteen and would spend a whole crap load of time there before he reached the age.

Outside the extra shifts at the fast food place they both worked random and odd jobs throughout the neighborhood, securing a steadily growing savings pile that they only dipped into occasionally to go see movies or spend countless hours at the arcade. Dean had never had more fun with a person in his life. Even when he and Sam bickered over stupid teenager things, like Sam being overly messy for Dean's taste now that he was accustomed to the environment or Dean's still continuing reluctance to do more than hand jobs with each other, they were good together.

Over the course of the summer months there were three separate encounters with Brian. The first time Sam had been making sandwiches and Dean was upstairs putting away laundry. Brian had come home unexpectedly in the middle of the day and had wasted little time in cornering Sam against the counter. He didn't get any further than brushing his nose against Sam's jaw before Dean happened to come down to see what was taking so long. Brian had backed off with Dean's appearance and he didn't leave the kitchen until both he and Sam were walking up the stairs with their food.

Dean had spent the afternoon holding Sam close and gently stroking his hair, calming the shake of his body and reassuring him that it would be okay. Mentally he kicked himself for allowing Sam to even get into that place and once more resolved to not let it happen again. That night when Jane and Brian were in bed Dean kissed his way down Sam's body, tasting every inch of him and not stopping when he reached the waistline even when Sam stuttered his name. He'd only just managed to suck part of the flesh in before Sam was jerking up and coming down his throat. Dean kissed him when he blushed and apologized and he reassured the boy that it was alright, they'd get there with that as well.

The second time was in the middle of July and Sam was mowing the backyard without a shirt. Dean knew because he'd been watching from the bathroom window while attempting to clean the space. Sam was getting a tan from all their outside work and Dean was _really_ enjoying it. He'd only looked away for a few minutes to scrub the bleach from the bathtub. When he looked back up Brian was outside beside Sam, one finger trailing down the boy's chest.

A hiss had fallen sharp from Dean's lips and he bolted from the bathroom, bounding swiftly down the steps and bursting outside. He'd called out to Sam and Brian had only backed up a step by the time he was at his side. This time an excuse was easy since they both had work in forty five minutes and Sam would need a shower beforehand. Dean had locked eyes with Brian and stared hard at him while Sam made a quick exit back into the house.

Within minutes Brian was driving off again for whatever errand and Dean stripped, slipping into the shower behind Sam and holding him close, washing him gently. They didn't talk about what happened, they both knew by now that Brian was looking to push the limits and they needed to be careful. Dean spent as long as possible soothing Sam with gentle and warm kisses, stroking his skin to clear his mind. They were ten minutes late to work but it was worth it.

The final time was the week before school was picking up again. Dean had sat through several conversations with Jane and Brian, mainly consisting of Brian telling Dean he could get legally emancipated since he had graduated and therefore could move out before he turned eighteen. They couldn't force him to do that though so Dean declined, insisting working and saving up would be most helpful at this point. Dean could tell Brian wanted him out of there, probably so he could get at Sam easier, and the thought terrified him. In less than half a year he _would_ be out of there and no one would be left to ensure Sam was going to be okay.

This particular time Dean had been called into work and Sam had walked with him as far the library and kissed him softly before saying he'd meet him later at home. On his walk home after work Dean was in a spectacular mood because it was Friday, Jane and Brian were going out of town for the weekend that evening and his boss had just offered him the assistant Manager position. He was bouncing on his heels to see Sam and tell him the good news when he stepped in the house.

Brian had Sam trapped in the laundry room again. Dean bristled at the sight, glaring daggers hard at the spot Brian's fingers were wrapped around Sam's wrist. He cleared his throat loudly and crossed his arms over his chest. "What's going on?" He asked, voice loud and clear enough to have Brian moving back. Their eyes met and Dean told Brian through the glare that he wasn't going to be intimidated by him. They both knew what it meant that Dean wasn't stupid about this. If Brian tried to do something to get Dean moved to a new home, Dean could tell his social worker about Brian's behavior and that would pull both him and Sam from the home while they were being investigated. At the same time Brian knew Dean didn't want to leave Sam's side. He may not know what they were to each other but he seemed aware of their closeness so he seemed reassured that Dean wouldn't say anything to put their living situation at risk. "Sam? You ready to go get some pizza?"

"Pizza?" Sam's eyes were riveted on Dean but it took him a few moments to move. He was so tired of Brian, having to sneak through the house like a criminal, never able to just _sit_ somewhere and not worry about who was moving around the house. Having to live like that was changing Sam, he could feel it.

Taking a few quick steps along the back wall Sam managed to get past Brian then bolted past Dean and ran toward the front door. Bursting through the front door Sam started to run. Dean would be leaving in five months and Sam would be alone in the house with Brian. There would be only so many ways that Sam could avoid Brian, he'd _have_ to go into that laundry room. Sam ran faster, wanting to leave the feel of Brian's hands behind him but it just didn't matter.

By the time Dean made it out the front door there was really no way to tell which direction Sam had gone. Trying to follow him wouldn't get him anywhere. So he simply stood on the sidewalk, head turning from one side to the other, a swell of fear rising up in his chest. What if it just became too much and Sam saw the need for an out despite what they had? Dean understood a little about self-preservation, you didn't make it in this world without that, but the idea of no longer having him around scared Dean more than he was willing to admit.

Not long after Brian came out of the house with his and Jane's bag and loaded them silently in the car. He didn't say a word to Dean and Jane only stopped long enough to tell him to keep an eye on Sam while they were gone. Once they'd driven off Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes. If they cared so much about Sam they would have shared in his concern for the missing boy. Dean folded his arms over his chest and walked back and forth along the sidewalk, staring one direction then the next to spot Sam, wondering how long he'd wait until he just gave up and started making circles around the neighborhood to find him.

Sam ran until he was having trouble breathing then began his long walk back to the house. He knew if he waited long enough Brian and Jane would be gone and even though he was feeling guilty about leaving Dean there worrying, he couldn't go back. By the time he made his way back up there street he could see Dean leaning against the front gate... waiting.

When he was finally back at Dean's side, Sam leaned against the gate next to him. "I can't keep doing this," he murmured. Folding his arms tight across his chest Sam looked down at the sidewalk. "It's making me different," he shook his head slowly, "remember how when you met me... what you liked about me was that I was _broken_? Different?"

Frowning slightly, Dean rubbed his fingers along his forearm and considered the ground in front of him. "So... what do you want to do? You could call your social worker, you know they don't take allegations like that lightly, they'd look in to it and take us from here." His shoulders hunched slightly and Dean couldn't even remember the excitement he'd been feeling on his way home from work not that long ago.

"Take me with you when you go." Sam turned to reach out for Dean's hand not even caring if anyone saw them. "I can find another job somewhere, and and..." Sam knew as soon as he suggested it that it was a stupid idea. As soon as he ran away Jane would call and report it to the police. He wouldn't be able to finish school and he'd have to quit his job. It would all be downhill from there. Squeezing his eyes shut for a few moments Sam tugged on Dean's arm to pull him up off the fence. "I'm just over-tired or something, hey, you said something about pizza?" Smiling softly Sam squeezed Dean's hand.

No part of Dean was really hungry right now and he shrugged. "You want to go get some? Or we could just stay in tonight. There's always tomorrow for pizza." Dean wished he could take Sam with him, but that would be the place the authorities would be looking first. "You know I would, if I could." He looked over at Sam and sighed. "I'd take you with me in a heartbeat if we could actually get away with it." Dean knew sometimes the government would just let a child slip from their fingers but not without at least pretending to look first, and not with a so obvious runaway. They'd catch him and maybe send Sam away, Dean didn't like the possibility.

"I know," Sam shrugged a shoulder. "Let's stay here; I've been looking forward to this all week." Sam had noticed that Brian's car was gone and knew that they could have a weekend free of the nerves and tension that lurked so closely all week while the couple was home. Slipping his fingers into Dean's back pocket Sam pressed his lips to his boyfriend's shoulder, inhaling the scent of his clean t-shirt. "Hey, how was work?"

"Oh, it was alright," Dean nodded and wrapped his arm around Sam, squeezing softly. "Let's go inside. I just want to relax for a while." He knew Sam was forcing himself to try and forget about the situation but Dean couldn't shake himself from it. "Maybe we can find something cool on the few TV stations." He led the way up the front walk, shouldering the door open and heading for the kitchen. "I think there's pizza bites left in the freezer." Everything felt weird and off centered for Dean and he tried to shrug it off.

"I'll be fine you know," Sam said as they walked into the house. Turning he locked the door behind him and moved over to grab Dean's arm. "I'm sorry for freaking out, I just...” he shrugged a shoulder, "s'just bugging me. It's not a big deal, really." Sam forced a bright smile and slid his arms around Dean's waist. "I know you'll be waiting for me, so that'll keep me going." _He hoped._ Leaning up on the balls of his feet Sam dragged his hands up over Dean's arms and circled them round his neck. "You could kiss me; I bet that would make everything better." His lips twitched as a real smile took over his face.

"Sam, it is a big deal," Dean whispered, arms wrapping around Sam's waist. The frown lingered on his lips and he slowly shook his head. "I know it's a big deal and I really wouldn't blame you for wanting to get away. You could... I could do the legal emancipation thing and follow you to whatever town you move too." Something seemed to crash for the floor above them and Dean looked up, sighing. "Every time I think I forgot about the ghost, he reminds me. This house sucks," Dean groaned and rested his forehead against Sam's. "Everything but you."

"Well, I'm _not_ going up to the attic again," Sam laughed nervously. "I'm hungry and I want to make out with you on the couch, you know," he murmured, "somewhere we're not allowed to." Sam rocked his hips forward into Dean's teasingly. "Watch TV?" He grinned, "Play scrabble?" Sam wanted to just forget about the way he'd reacted because it only seemed to make Dean feel worse. "C'mon, smile," he tugged Dean forward and brushed their lips together.

Falling for a moment into the kiss, Dean couldn't help losing himself in Sam. Just for a minute. Then he pulled back and cupped his jaw. "I was really worried about you," Dean admitted in a quiet whisper, thumb sliding across Sam's lower lip. "I didn't even know if you were okay. And to think how excited I was on my way home just 'cause Jonathan made me assistant manager." Dean shook his head and dropped his hand to Sam's shoulder, squeezing softly. "Next time you're gonna run off like that can you at least leave behind something that might tell me which direction you went?"

"You were really worried." Sam expression softened. "Yeah, I won't do that again, I promise." He knew Dean cared about him but no one had ever really given a damn about Sam before and no one had ever worried about him if they didn't know where he was. Dean's words started to sink down into Sam's mind. "Wait..." a smile grew on Sam's lips. "He made you assistant manager?"

"Oh," Dean looked to the side before shrugging and chuckling softly. "Yeah, I guess he sees real potential in me or something." Dean laughed a little louder and pulled Sam into his body, squeezing him tightly. "I don't even want to think about a life without you," he whispered into Sam's hair and breathed in his scent, seeking the final waves of comfort that might make the lingering tension fade away.

"I'm not going anywhere," Sam held on to Dean tightly, "I promise, and I won't do that again - just take off. And," Sam pulled back from the embrace with a broad smile on his face and a raised eyebrow, "you have a _lot_ of potential." He let one of his hands slide down over Dean's hip. "So - you deserve to celebrate. What do you want to do tonight?"

"You," Dean said simply then his eyes widened. He barked out a surprised laugh and shook his head. "I'm kidding. Well, kind of. Anyway. Let's find some food to eat and make out on the couch and then see where things go?" Dean's hand curved around Sam's hip, squeezing softly before sliding back, the tips of his fingers brushing just under the waistline of his boyfriend's jeans.

Sam nodded and took a few deep breaths, tugging Dean toward the kitchen. "What you wanna eat? I can cook - we'll have some soda and watch some TV. You wanna go sit while I make you something?" Sam was backing toward the kitchen - reluctant to let go of Dean's hand.

"Maybe I'll just sit with you in the kitchen while you cook," Dean smiled and stepped with Sam, grinning brighter as he squeezed his boyfriend's hand. "Kind of nice to think of a whole weekend alone. As long as it doesn't involve in attic explorations." Dean's eyes lifted up toward the ceiling as if there might be another crash just at the words. "At least we haven't seen him again?"

"He keeps showing up when Brian's being a dick," Sam laughed as he padded into the kitchen. He flicked the oven on and yanked the freezer door open to pull the pizza bites out. Flipping the box over so he could check out the time it took to cook he scratched his head then tossed the box on the counter.

Sam opened the fridge and pulled out a soda for himself. "Coke?" Peering at Dean over the top of the fridge door he smiled warmly.

"Yeah sure," Dean nodded and reached out to take the offered coke, stepping back to lean on the counter and consider his boyfriend. "So, you've seen him? The ghost I mean? Why didn't you ever tell me?" Dean popped the lid on his coke and sipped slowly from it.

"You got enough to worry about?" Sam pulled a couple of strawberries out of the fridge and pulled the stem off one then held it up to Dean's lips. "You're trying to fix all this stuff, you know? Take care of me, you work all the time, you finished school and you're saving all that money - busting your ass." Sam closed the fridge door and watched as Dean took a bite of the strawberry.

"Yeah but I don't mind worrying about you. I mean, I _like it_. And the ghost thing, we're in that together. That's something you should tell me." Dean couldn't imagine trying to keep seeing the thing again to himself. He told Sam everything now, it was second nature. "What else are you keeping from me?" He meant it only slightly teasing but it probably sounded a bit sad and pathetic.

Frowning Sam brushed past his boyfriend and bent down to pull a tray out of the bottom cupboard. Slamming it on the counter a little harder than he intended he took a few moments to rub at his forehead then picked up the box and tore into the end of it. "What you think I just hide shit for fun?" Sam tried to sound light-hearted. "I tell you damn near everything." Sam yanked the food out of the box. "The ghost thing, it's connected somehow with Brian - I ... I don't get it so I didn't say anything."

Sam bit down on his bottom lip for a few moments and winced. He hadn't meant to talk about that. "There's been one or two times with Brian - nothing big - that I didn't mention 'cause I hate the look you get on your face. Sometimes, I have nightmares and you don't wake up so I don't tell you about them."

As soon as the pizza bites were on the tray Sam opened the oven and slid it in then set the timer before turning to face Dean. "Is that what you mean?"

"You mean there have been _more_ times with Brian?" Dean asked in disbelief, eyes growing wide. "More than the times I walked in on? Sam, how am I supposed to protect you if you don't tell me these things?"

"I can take care of myself sometimes," Sam leaned on the counter and stared down at the counter for a few moments. "It's not like, I mean-" Sam sighed and turned toward Dean. "Can we not do this? It's like he's here even when he's not here and I don't want to let him do that." Sam rubbed at the back of his arm nervously, "you mad?"

Sighing softly Dean shrugged and slowly shook his head. "Not mad. Just... I thought we shared these things with each other. I mean, I tell you everything, all the stupid little details even when I have bad dreams. But I know dreams are personal so I don't ask you to do that it's just... the Brian thing is big Sam. And I thought. I thought you needed me, you know, to help." Dean drained half his coke in one go before shaking his head more firmly. "I'm sorry, it's stupid. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want too. And you're right, let's just not do this."

"I need you more than I've ever needed anyone." Sam's voice was soft and he gritted his teeth against the burning of unshed tears. "Every time he's near me I want you to come through the door but I-" Sam's breath caught in his chest and he had to look away. "If he gets mad and you fight and he kicks you out..." Sam's fingers were twisting together, knuckles white. "I can put up with him sometimes, if it means that I get to keep you. You _are_ what I need. You're pretty much my whole life."

Sam turned back to the oven to hide the tears on his face and fussed with the box and wrapping. It wasn't like Brian did much more than scare him; he'd grabbed his hand a few times and tried to get him to come closer but Jane was around both times and Dean just in the living room once so Sam didn't have much trouble getting away from him.

"Sam," Dean said softly and stepped over to his boyfriend, pulling him in to hold him to his chest. "That's basically the reason I worry so much about you. Because you are my life, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. I can't even tell you how much I'm looking forward to you being eighteen and able to leave so we can just... be together. You and me you know?" Dean cradled the back of Sam's neck and rubbed softly. "I'm always going to worry, about you and the whole situation. That's just part of caring for someone." He smiled softly and pressed his lips hard onto the top of Sam's head.

"I've never had all this before," Sam mumbled against Dean's shoulder and tried to wipe his eyes on his boyfriend's t-shirt. Laughing softly, he pulled back a little. "So... I'll tell you everything. Even if you're not there to help when it happens - but Dean, you gotta promise me that you're not gonna fight with Brian." Leaning forward, he brushed his lips over Dean's, "m'not ready for you to go yet." Sam's heart squeezed a little tighter when he thought about it.

Smiling softly, Dean pulled Sam in for a lingering kiss before pulling back to meet his gaze. "Let me tell you how it works Sam. Brian and I have a secret understanding that's never been spoken about. He knows that if he kicks me out, I'll tell the social workers and they remove you from the house, and Brian will be investigated. Just like I know if I say anything we'll get separated... it's a sad but true circumstance." Dean shrugged slightly and brought Sam in for another brush of lips. "I'm not going anywhere until I have too."

"Stuck with me," Sam teased as he hooked his fingers through his boyfriend's belt loops. "Hey, I was thinking..." Sam's cheeks started to go pink and he wrinkled his nose as he grinned and looked away.

"I know that look. What is your mind up too?" Dean teased and tightened his fingers over Sam's hipbones, squeezing slightly.

"You know that night when you," Sam swallowed and leaned closer, cheek sliding along Dean's until he could whisper against Dean's ear, "had your mouth on me. I was thinkin' maybe I could try that..." Catching Dean's earlobe in his lips Sam sucked on it softly.

Dean's knees dipped just at the suggestion and he sucked in a sharp breath, going almost instantly hard. "Um, yeah. Yeah," he nodded swiftly and pulled back a little, staring at Sam. "Are you sure? Can I do it to you too?" He grinned slightly, dipping in for a longer kiss.

Humming quietly, Sam pressed his hands against Dean's chest and pushed him back. "Food," he mumbled as his lips refused to part from his boyfriend's for long. Dean could always make everything feel better, no matter what.

"Yeah yeah, pizza bites," Dean grumbled and stepped further away. It wasn't his fault that Sam was so hot and he wanted nothing more than to be with him constantly. "So. There's something about me being assistant manager you should know," Dean said softly and leaned against the counter, reclaiming his soda.

"What?" Sam opened the oven and peeked in then closed it again to let the pizza bites cook a bit longer.

Scrunching up his face slightly Dean shrugged. "Well, we either have to keep our relationship secret as long as you work there or never work together. Me being your superior and stuff. Jonathan doesn't know we're together, he thinks we're just close. So, yeah," Dean shrugged once more and grinned. "And I get a raise!"

"Well, I like working with you 'cause I don't have to be home alone." Sam's smiled faltered a little. "But I keep wanting to tell people that you're mine. Like Dorothy. Stupid chick." Sam's face darkened a little as he thought about her flirting with Dean.

Grinning slightly he stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Sam's waist. "Dorothy, that reminds me. Today she was trying to give me a back massage." He paused; allowing Sam to digest the words and watching his face grow even more annoyed. "I told her I didn't think my boyfriend would like her touching me much." Dean grinned and ruffled Sam's hair beneath his palm.

Sam's expression softened a little and he turned to beam up at Dean. "You said that?" His heart did that floppy thing again in his chest that seemed to happen whenever Dean _claimed_ Sam in some way or made it sound like they belonged to each other. "Really? Did she cry? I keep wanting to smack her hands off you. I hope you know that I'm using great restraint just calling her names under my breath." Still grinning, Sam yanked an oven mitt on and pulled the door down to get the tray. "Dinner."

"What a good little cook," Dean teased and cupped Sam's ass, squeezing once he'd set the tray on top of the stove. "And _of course_ I'm serious I said that. She looked pretty upset and was like, you're gay? You should have heard how she squeaked. It was hilarious."

Dean grinned and rested his chin on Sam's shoulder, looping his arms around him and settling his hands on Sam's stomach. "Then Matt was like, I can't believe you didn't know Dorothy, it's totally obvious. Which was even funnier." Dean turned his head in to press a kiss to Sam's neck. "Missed you at work. It's boring without you there."

"You need me to keep the girls away." Sam took the oven mitt off and rested his hands over Dean's. "At this rate we'll never eat." Letting his head fall back Sam rested it against Dean's. " _God_ I love being around you."

Grinning brightly Dean squeezed Sam once before stepping back. "Okay, Eating. Cause there are things after the eating that I'm greatly looking forward too." Dean turned to grab a couple paper plates from the cabinet, itching to have Sam back in his arms because he, for some crazy reason, missed him the minute he wasn't there.

-=-=-=-

The only movie they were managing to pick up on the crappy stations was so very _bad_ Dean thought they might literally die from it. There was some odd man who kept gaining information from a machine and the acting was definitely up there with the worst he'd ever seen. It was even more disappointing when the commercials came on at some point and they learned it was a Stephen King book to movie. Something about lawnmowers but he forgot the title almost as quick as he heard it. Instead he was focused more on the feel of Sam pressed against his side until finally their lips met and slid together with practiced ease and growing heat.

His fingers tangled up into Sam's hair, squeezing softly and his tongue pushed forward. Dean loved kissing Sam, it was his absolute favorite past times, and they'd learned together with time. Now he knew just when to suck on Sam's tongue to drive him crazy. And the best place with the right amount of pressure to nick his teeth along the kiss swollen flesh. Hearing Sam moan was the _best_. Dean loved taking in the noise, feeling like it surrounded him, all through his system.

"Dean," Sam wriggled to the edge of the couch and broke their kiss for a few moments. He glanced down at Dean's lap then back up at his boyfriend's face and swung his leg over to slide up on to Dean's lap. "Mmm," he leaned forward into Dean's body and draped his arms over Dean's shoulders. "I like this," Sam's voice was low and he licked his lips slowly so close to Dean's he could feel the heat radiating off them.

"Me too, god," Dean was a little surprised with how very much he liked Sam like this, heat burning down into his thighs and nearly serving to drive him crazy. "It's insane, the way you can blow my mind so easily." Dean murmured and learned up to capture Sam's lips in a hard kiss, doing all those things that drove them both crazy and had his hips arching up into Sam's, needing and eager.

Sam arched his back enough to get his hands down between them and pull Dean's t-shirt up. When Dean finally let go of Sam the shirt was pulled up and off then tossed back over Sam's shoulder. Trembling slightly, Sam crossed his arms and pulled his own t-shirt off just before sinking back down against Dean's chest. "Better," he murmured as he licked his way across Dean's bottom lip.

 _Lips_. Dean's were the best in the world. Sam was quite certain and didn't even _have_ to kiss anyone else to know that. His boyfriend's lips were full and soft, the perfect shape to be just parted for Sam - it was hot and Sam loved the feel of Dean's mouth opening for him, drawing him in. Moaning softly Sam rocked forward toward Dean's body and gasped as his hard dick pressed against his boyfriends. Even through both pairs of jeans he could feel it, feel how hard Dean was _for him._

"Sam," Dean moaned softly and, with a rush, grew loader as he realized he didn't have to be quiet. His hips rolled up to meet Sam's once more and his hands settled on the boy's ass, bringing him in harder. "God, s'hot," he grazed his lips against Sam's then lower along his jaw down to his neck. Dean loved Sam's skin; he could spend forever mapping it with kisses and wouldn't be the least bit bothered. "Always want this," Dean breathed and bent Sam back over his hands and dragged his teeth down the skin over Sam's heart, stopping at his nipple and sucking hard.

Sam shuddered under Dean's mouth, nipple hardening quickly then aching in that perfect way that was just the right side of painful. When Dean was holding his weight like this Sam felt like he was floating, he knew Dean wouldn't let him fall and it was like _fucking_ flying he felt so high and turned on. Letting his arms fall to his sides, Sam stretched the arch in his back and thrust his hips forward. The heat that shot through him was almost painful and he cried out softly, head falling back.

One hand splayed open wide and pressing hard into Sam's back, Dean's other moved around to Sam's jeans, flicking the button open with little fumbling. "You taste so good," Dean whispered against Sam's upper stomach, trailing just the tip of his tongue over smooth skin. "Could just do this all night, have you like this." Dean had learned the first time they fooled around that talking was a thing of his. Something about the way his voice rumbled over him and seemed to affect Sam in kind. He moved across to the opposite nipple to give it the proper amount of attention.

Sam's hand lifted slowly and settled on Dean's shoulder; his blunt fingernails scratched at his boyfriend's skin. " _Jesus_ , Dean... your voice," he muttered as he tried to gasp in some air. It was impossible to stop his spine from twisting, arching and then stretching back as Dean worked the sensitive flesh of Sam's nipple. Dean's tongue and teeth were practically torturing him.

Dean managed to get the Sam's zipper down somehow and the pressure lifting off his aching dick was good, so good he moaned and reached for Dean's hand - guiding it forward and down. "Want your hands... want you to touch me." He hissed out a long breath as Dean's teeth caught his nipple firmly.

"Shit Sam, anything for you," Dean found he also had a thing for how needy Sam could get. It made his mind spin. Pulling roughly he tugged down the last of the zipper until Sam boxers tented out past the confines. It made Dean groan, feeling Sam through cotton against his palm. Things like this really should be so hot. It was almost lethal.

Dean's lips continued working along every inch of Sam's chest, sucking random bruises along the skin. Pushing his hand under Sam's waist line Dean brushed at the swollen flesh before managing to curl around the base in a firm grip. "Wanna taste you again Sam, want my lips on every inch of your skin."

"Please," Sam's hips were already rocking up because it wasn't nearly _enough_. Sam had never been completely naked around Dean minus the one time in the shower, somehow, it always seemed like they ended up in boxers. It wasn't that they didn't touch each other, they did, but it was in the dark - huddled in their bedroom while they were trying to be quiet.

Growling softly Sam pushed at Dean's hand and slid back until he could stand. He hooked shaking fingers over the waistband of his jeans and boxers and tugged them down quickly. Stumbling once as he stepped out of them, Sam rubbed his feet quickly on the carpet so his socks would slide off. Taking in a shuddering breath that was so deep it made his lungs ache Sam stepped back up to Dean's legs. He smiled down at his boyfriend, _so_ aware of the way his dick was bobbing there, swollen, aching and _really_ needing to be in Dean's hands. "This okay?" It was a hoarse whisper and Sam swayed forward, wanting to climb back on Dean's lap but needing to know it was okay.

Blinking slowly Dean couldn't seem to stop staring. He wanted to touch and taste so _bad_ suddenly Dean couldn't help reaching out. His fingers brushed almost reverently over the red swollen skin. "Jesus..." he moaned and slid toward the edge of the couch, getting as close to Sam as he could.

Dean's eyes shot up toward Sam, a silent question before he was dipping forward to tentatively nuzzle along the base of his dick. They hadn't gotten far before and Dean hoped he had more of a chance to explore now, fingers curling into the back of Sam's thighs.

It was a good thing Dean was almost holding Sam up because as soon as his boyfriend's nose was near Sam's dick his knees dipped, a moan ripped out of his chest and he almost fell forward. Leaning his hands heavily on Dean's shoulders, Sam whispered his boyfriend's name over and over, fingers moving restlessly through his short golden brown hair. Sam's body curled forward, almost over Dean as the older boy turned slowly and Sam shuddered and threw his head back. _Dean's tongue_. It was moving slowly and perfectly along the side of Sam's dick, teasing him and making his thighs tremble as he tried to stay still.

Dean knew already that he would remember this moment forever. The sounds falling from Sam's lips were intoxicating and Dean listened to each deep, throaty moan. The taste along his tongue was salty and warm and pleasant in a way Dean hadn't thought possible. He covered every inch of Sam's dick with slow licks, spending several long moments lapping at the precome along the slit before his lips parted and sucked just the head in. One hand shifted up to Sam's lower back and pressed there, holding steady while the other curled hard into the back of Sam's thigh. A shudder tore through his boyfriend's body and Dean sank his lips lower down onto him.

 _Heat_. That was all that Sam could manage to think. It was taking all he had just to stay on his feet. Dean's mouth was soft, gentle, and he took Sam in his mouth slowly this time. Hips nudging forward, Sam pushed deeper into Dean's mouth as his fingers curled into Dean's hair and gripped tightly. When he looked down he could see Dean's dark lashes fluttering slightly, and those lips - those perfect-for-kissing lips were parted wide and stretched around Sam's hard flesh and he had to close his eyes or he thought he might come. "Dean," he whispered, "please, _God_ , please..." his voice trailed off and he keened softly as he thrust forward.

Pulling his lips back an inch Dean looked up at Sam and drank in his flushed face. "Fuckin' hot Sam," Dean whispered and flicked his tongue out once more, dipping into the slit as much as he could. "What do you want Sam? Want me to get you there with just my lips and tongue? Want to fuck my mouth?" The words felt so pleasantly dirty on his lips Dean moaned and trailed his tongue up the underside of Sam's dick so slow he could feel the smooth slide and following groove. Dean's hand slid around from the back of the thigh and just barely brushed over Sam's balls.

Sam nearly collapsed. His knees buckled for a moment and he had to catch himself on Dean's shoulders or risk falling forward right into him. "Y..Yes, yes, _shit_..." Sam's words came out in a tumble of air and sigh and his hips snapped forward of their own accord. A shudder ran the full length of Sam's body and his hand slipped down over Dean’s cheek, fingers moving in tiny circles on the stubbled skin. Opening his mouth, he tried to speak again but Dean's tongue was pulsing against the underside of Sam's dick and he could feel himself starting to lose control.

"Do it then, just what you want Sammy," Dean growled low in his throat and spread his lips around the head once more, sucking him down and opening wider to pull him in. Another thing Dean could add to the list of things Dean loved, Sam's dick filling his mouth. The taste and heat were all conspiring against him, making it hard to not touch himself. His fingers rolled a little firmer into Sam's balls, air leaving his lungs through quick and sharp exhales out his nose. Dean shifted even closer on the couch, pushing up to get a better angle for sucking his boyfriend down even further.

Sam's hands slid off Dean's cheek and thumped hard against his shoulders; his hips thrust forward, snapping back then gliding forward again. "Dean," he moaned his boyfriend's name thickly and arched his spine forward. A prickling heat was spiraling up Sam's body like a fiery vine and he threw his head back to thrust harder. He couldn't control it - just wanted _more_ \- wanted Dean.

Pleasure coursed through his veins, thick and sluggish and Sam felt his orgasm building within him. This time it didn't catch him completely by surprise but slid along his body like a warm wave of heat before slamming into him and shaking him almost off his feet. Rocking his hips forward a handful of times Sam's dick throbbed and then he came hard. "F..Fuck..." he hissed as his body curled over Dean's head, hips twitching forward as his come pulsed out into his boyfriend's mouth.

Something about Sam's hand holding him in place as he came, the way he so completely lost control and seemed to give into the hot thrill of this, had Dean almost coming in his pants. He managed to hold it back, managed to suck in enough breaths through his nose to not lose it himself. Dean swallowed thickly, over and over until Sam whimpered and he fell back, licking his lips and slumping into the cushions.

"Holy shit Sam that was just-" Dean shook his head roughly, not sure if there were words to describe how hot that was. His dick pressed hard against his jeans and Dean caught Sam's wrist, pulling him down onto his lap so their lips could meet.

Sam collapsed boneless against Dean's chest, tongue lapping at his boyfriend's mouth as he tried so hard to catch his breath and make the world stop spinning. Somehow, Sam managed to find the energy to move his hands up to Dean's cheeks again and he pulled him forward and deepened the kiss.

Moaning softly he pulled back. Bleary eyed Sam tried to focus on Dean's face as he slid eel-like off Dean's lap and settled in the V of his legs. With shaking fingers Sam tugged at the button on Dean's pants, growling once in frustration and finally getting it to pop free. The zipper he pulled down slowly, each snick of the metal sending a small shiver down his flesh. He glanced up at Dean's face. _God_ , he was so beautiful. His cheeks were flushed darkly with blood, eyes wide and dark - almost black and his tongue would dart out every-so often to moisten his swollen lips.

Spurred on by the _need_ written all over Dean's face, Sam tugged on the waistband of Dean's pants and boxers until his boyfriend lifted his hips and Sam could wrestle them all the way off. Shoving the denim to the side Sam could only lick his lips and stare as Dean's cock rested there against his belly. It was bigger than Sam had thought, he'd only touched it, never seen his boyfriend naked in the light. His hands slid up over Dean's muscular thighs as he crawled forward again to settle between Dean's legs. Staring up at Dean from under his long lashes Sam brushed his lips against the musky smelling flesh and then inhaled deeply. He loved the smell of Dean, thick and earthy and _Dean_. His tongue slipped forward shyly, barely ghosting over the hot flesh of his boyfriend's dick.

It took more restraint than Dean thought he had in him not to thrust up into Sam's face. The sight of Sam's tongue, extending to flick over his skin once more, was enough to make him lose control for a moment and tighten his fingers hard in Sam's hair.

"God Sam, wanna see. Your mouth on me..." he gasped and writhing along the soft fabric of the couch, hooking a leg around Sam's upper thigh. The hand not buried in Sam's hair moved to his shoulder, curling around the muscle and dragging his nails slowly up.

Gasping as the pain of Dean's grip in his hair trickled down his body and became pleasure; Sam shifted on his knees and leaned forward. He curled long fingers around the base of his boyfriend's dick, squeezing gently, licked his lips then parted them slowly and pressed forward.

Dean’s rigid flesh pushed past Sam's lips and the taste of his lover blossomed on his tongue. Moaning, Sam let his tongue cradle the hot flesh for a few moments as he tried to slow his breathing. It was _hot_ , so hot having Dean's shaft in his mouth. The slight flavour of pre-come tickled Sam's sense and he swallowed as he sank his mouth further down, tongue swirling around the sensitive flesh.

That was just about as hot as Dean imagined, maybe even more so, and he moaned low in his throat, arching just barely off the couch up into the tight heat. He forced his grip to loosen in Sam's hair, just barely holding on as he let Sam guide the slow, teasing bobs up and down. Sam's name fell in a deep praise from his lips over and over, beginning a chant he couldn't seem to stop. Sam's tongue, his mouth, the way it surrounded him was only adding to the pleasure previously coursing through him. "So close," he managed to choke out, wishing he could fight it off longer because Sam's mouth around him was intoxicating.

Moving his head slowly, Sam tried to swallow as much of Dean's dick as he could. Sucking hard, he dragged his teeth gently along the skin then sank back down to swallow around the rigid shaft. Humming quietly, Sam felt Dean's hips snap forward so he hummed again, letting his tongue pulse against the underside of the hot flesh. Sucking hard again he hollowed his cheeks, fingers curling hard into the muscles of Dean's thighs.

Almost as if his eyes rolled back with pleasure, Dean's entire body jerked in response to Sam's lips around him and he gasped in overwhelming pleasure. "S-sam," he moaned, a warning, and tugged at Sam's shoulder in attempt to get him to move. There was no holding back at that point. Dean's muscles tensed, spasming a moment later as his release rocked through him and sent him thrusting up into the tight heat of his boyfriend's mouth once more.

The force of Dean's come startled Sam and then he swallowed, sucked at his boyfriend's dick and swirled the flavour of come around in his mouth. Choking once slightly, Sam swallowed again and curled his fingers around the base of Dean's shaft to work him through his release. When the throbbing stopped, Sam pulled back and heaved in a lung full of air and stared up at Dean. He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and crawled up to lie on Dean's body, riding the rise and fall of Dean's chest as he panted softly.

"This, god," he breathed deeply, calming himself and slowly wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. ”Sam, how am I gonna keep my mouth off you now?" He could still taste him there on his tongue and Dean nudged at Sam until their lips could crush together. Dean thrust his tongue into Sam's mouth, sweeping around to gather his own taste and mix it with Sam's along his own. Pulling back, Dean fell back onto the couch cushion and sighed deeply. "I love you Sammy," he whispered, pulling Sam into his chest.

Sam settled against Dean's body, eyes closing slowly. "Love you too," he murmured, lips moving gently against Dean's chest.


	5. Chapter 5

Most days, Sam felt like he was running a gauntlet. Brian would appear out of nowhere sometimes and it was all Sam could do to stay one step ahead of him. True to his word Sam told Dean about every run-in he had with their foster parent and Dean kept his promise and didn't get into any altercations with Brian beyond an occasional brief exchange of words and the way they would try to stare each other down. It was unpleasant and miserable and as the time passed Sam's heart grew heavy.

September had brought with it the start of school and Sam was already missing Dean. Whenever he could, Dean walked Sam to school but he was busy with the extra responsibility of his job. Sam _knew_ that Dean picked up extra shifts when Sam was in school. It was safe for him to be away from the house. Sam still worked but he took far fewer shifts now that classes had started up again and Dean kept insisting that Sam needed time to study.

The Library was close to Dairy Queen so Sam would set up with his homework and wait for Dean to stop by to pick him up. Some evenings, Dean would have to shake Sam awake gently. There might be the occasional night when the boys were up far too late. Some nights they were touching each other, couldn't get enough in the quiet darkness of their room. Some nights Sam lay awake whispering to Dean, telling him about all the things he wanted to do once they could live together; Dean would smile and tug his boyfriend closer.

By November Sam was starting to realize how much homework he would be dealing with and feeling a bit bogged down by life. He and Dean didn't seem to find nearly enough time to be together and it was starting to make both of them a little bit skittish.

Dean worried when he was away from the house and Sam might be home alone with Brian - but it really couldn't be avoided sometimes. Sam made a habit of staying close to Jane when he could. She seemed somehow oblivious to the turmoil that was going on just below the happy veneer of the household but that was okay with Sam. Some of his afternoons were spent in the kitchen with Jane, learning how to cook - he figured it couldn't hurt seeing as he and Dean would have to feed themselves once they moved out. Brian would hover sometimes, but didn't ever get too close to Sam.

 _And the boy in the attic_. Sam thought of old Hardy Boys novels that he'd seen in second hand stores whenever he thought of the boy. It just wasn’t as amusing as those books had seemed. Ghosts weren't supposed to be real and they certainly weren't supposed to exist in a house that Sam was living in. It was like being trapped in an episode of some TV show.

The pattern Sam had noticed seemed to be right. He'd seen the boy three more times and each time Brian had been trying to catch Sam somewhere in the house. This day, a random day, Sam had been in the kitchen. Jane had run out to the store for something she needed for dinner and Sam was peeling potatoes. Sam could hear the front door open and his blood ran cold because he _knew_ that Jane couldn't be back from the store so quickly, and Dean wouldn't be home from work for two more hours.

It only took a few minutes for Brian to make his way into the kitchen and Sam sucked in a harsh breath. Staring down at the potato in his hand he kept peeling even though he could see a slight shake in his hand. It had happened quickly, and seemed all blurry around the ages like Sam was seeing it from a distance. Brian had been pressed up against Sam's back - more than he'd ever dared to do before -but he was a true predator and took advantage of the opening he saw.

Shame and disgust had flooded through Sam instantly and he struggled to get away. It was only moments but the heat of Brian's body felt completely and utterly wrong. Sam's fingers had curled tightly around the potato peeler and several things had happened all at once.

Jane screamed. The sound had jolted Sam and almost as quickly as Brian sprang away from him Sam whipped around. But Jane wasn't even _in_ the kitchen; an orange rolled past the doorway and Sam realized that Jane must have dropped a bag of groceries.

The boy was there again; his straggly hair and dark eyes buried deep in the pale skin of his face. He just stood at the entrance to the kitchen - eyes locked on Sam. The image wavered slightly - giving Sam the strangest sensation of slipping sideways off the world. The cold washed over him as the boy disappeared and he was shoved to the side as Brian finally launched himself into motion and headed out to see if Jane was alright.

Sam hadn't stayed around long enough to find out if Jane had seen the boy or something else had startled her enough to prompt her to scream - he bolted for the door as soon as he was able. Sam had spent the next hour and a half sitting in the park across the street, shivering until he'd finally seen Dean walking down the street. Sam's teeth were chattering when he finally caught up to Dean. Before his boyfriend even had a chance to smile Sam flung himself against Dean, cold nose buried in the crook of his neck. "Dean," he whispered, shivering as Dean's arms came round him without question.

The shock and pleasure at seeing Sam was quickly diminished by the way his boyfriend clung to him and the idea that clearly something was very wrong. "Sam? What is it?" His arms wrapped as tightly around Sam as he could manage, trying to fight off the way the boy shivered. "You're freezing, how long have you been waiting out here?" Dean frowned and pulled his coat as much as possible around them.

"Brian," Sam murmured, "and the boy was there and I - you had to work still. Jane went to the store for butter but she got oranges..." Sam could still see the orange rolling down the hallway when he closed his eyes. Pulling back a little from the heat of Dean's body, Sam smiled shakily, "I waited outside for you, maybe an hour? Forgot my jacket."

Shrugging out of his own jacket, Dean ignored Sam's half-hearted protests as he slipped the heavy leather over his boyfriend's shoulders. The jacket was something he'd bought a few weeks ago, it was pricey but Sam and he had decided they deserved to reward themselves in some way for working so hard. Once he was sure Sam's arms were tucked into the sleeves Dean stepped forward and slipped his arms around the boy's waist under the coat. "I can't believe he keeps pushing this," Dean whispered, sighing quietly as his forehead rested against Sam's. It only seemed to be getting worse and Dean was desperate for some solution.

Warmth was finally starting to soak into Sam's body. "S'okay," he murmured into Dean's neck, "I got out before he did much..." Shuddering, Sam tilted his chin up to brush his lips across Dean's. "Can we go to our room?" Their room was the one place in the entire house that Sam felt safe, of course, when Dean was there with him.

"I just, I wish I could just take you away from here. I wish we could just go," Dean whispered and squeezed Sam tight before withdrawing slightly and giving him a half smile. "Guess that's not really an option. So yeah, our room. Are you ready to go now?" Brian was the first person Dean had ever met that actually made him tempted to _kill_.

Nodding, Sam let Dean pull him toward the house. "I'll tell you, all about it when we get inside." Sighing, Sam pulled the sleeve of Dean's coat up so he could twine their fingers together.

They walked the rest of the way home in silence, hands interlocked and held tight to each other. Dean couldn't find words any more that might comfort Sam, he knew it would come later in the form of small touches and careful kisses but it just didn't feel like enough. Brian really deserved something awful to happen to him because of the things he was doing and the fact that the ghost kid kept showing up only seemed to make it worse. Like the moments weren’t bad enough for Sam as it was.

This seemed to spark an idea in Dean's mind and by the time they got inside and up to their room it had completely fleshed out. "Hey," Dean breathed, leaning against the door as it closed and stepping aside only when Sam returned with the chair to tuck under it. The house was empty and quiet, Jane and Brian were at some work conference for the evening, but it never hurt to be safe. "Sam, do you think the ghost could be connected to Brian somehow?"

"It's when I see him." Sam's brow furrowed and he thought back over the times he had seen the only-half-there boy. "When Brian's-" Sam's face twisted into an unpleasant expression and he ran his hand through his hair as he walked across the room to look out the window. "When Brian is touching me, tries to-" Sam sucked in a breath and leaned his forehead against the window.

"He had me pinned to the counter this time," Sam whispered the words as though that gave them less weight, made them somehow- not as real. A wave of shame ran over Sam again and he lifted a finger to draw a line through the condensation his breath spread across the pane.

Dean's stomach churned unpleasantly and he crossed the room to Sam, slowly laying his fingertips on the small of Sam's back. "Sam," he whispered, not sure what could be said to make the boy feel better. "You know it's not you right? What Brian's doing. God." Dean shook his head and slid his arm around Sam's waist.

Sam nodded against the window, drawing a small spiral with his finger and shrugged. "I know. Maybe, do you think that I somehow make it look like I want that? Because I don't," he added the last part quickly. "There's no one I want to touch me like that."

Sighing Sam turned around so he could press up against Dean. "This is different, it's not. It's not even the same thing at all. Love this." His cheek rubbed against Dean's and all he could hear was their breathing.

Frown deepening Dean wrapped his arm around Sam tight and held him there. "You don't make it seem like you want that. I have this feeling about Brian. I don't think, _God_ Sam I don't even think you're the first person he's tried this with." Dean swallowed thickly at the implication and closed his eyes.

"Look Sam, when I go-" that time was creeping in, right around the corner now and they'd already started looking around at apartments that were close, but Dean never hated the idea so much. "When I go, if you can't take any more of this and need to call the social worker. I understand okay? And no matter what happens we'll still be together. Okay?" Dean pulled back to meet Sam's gaze, searching.

"I'll be fine," Sam's voice was soft. "I, yeah," he sighed and smiled warmly, "I can do it - it's just a little while right?" Straightening up Sam cupped Dean's cheek for a moment before brushing past him to the pile of clothes on the end of his bed. Snatching up a shirt he shook it out and started to fold it. He wanted his mind as far away as possible from the day's events and from the eventuality of Dean leaving. _Dean leaving._ Fear bubbled up inside Sam's chest and anger swirled around it trying to keep it at bay.

Swearing softly Sam threw the t-shirt at the door. It made a very unsatisfying thump and fell quietly to the floor.

Brows pulling together Dean walked slowly over to his bed and set on the edge, peering up at Sam, hands folding in his lap. "I'm sorry," he said quietly though it was rather pointless by now. It wasn't like there was really anything he could do to help. "Hey maybe you'll be able to stay the night sometimes without sneaking out? Like you could say you're staying the night at some friend from school's house?" Dean half smiled hopefully up at his boyfriend.

Sam's fingers gripped tightened onto the legs of his jeans for a few moments then he turned and walked over to sink down to his knees in front of Dean. Pushing his way between his boyfriend's legs he slipped his arms around Dean's waist and wriggled in as close as he could. "I'd like that," he smiled against Dean's t-shirt. "You smell like Dairy Queen." Finally, Sam laughed softly.

"I was going to bring you home a Blizzard." Dean grinned and cupped Sam's jaw, tilting his head up and leaning down to bring their lips together. "I love you," he whispered into the kiss before pulling Sam in more firmly, knowing he was digging into the edge of the bed but also knowing Sam didn't care. Sometimes they kissed like the entire world depended on it, like nothing could be better, and that was oddly true. Dean sucked on Sam's lower lip, drawing it out as he pulled back and let their foreheads meet. "More than anything," he murmured once more, dropping another soft kiss to the corner of Sam's mouth.

Feeling the tension of the day falling away from him Sam clung to Dean as a smile spread across his face. He loved the way Dean touched him, held him close like it was their small world and nothing existed outside of it. It was the most perfect feeling. "We'll be fine," he murmured, "I'll be fine." Convincing either of them of that might be difficult but Sam figured it couldn't hurt to keep saying it.

"It's all temporary. What comes after will be so much better," Dean insisted and nodded, pulling Sam in for another long, lingering kiss. "Could spend forever just kissing you," he whispered against Sam's lips and pressed forward once more, sweeping his tongue forward to taste the curves along the inside of his boyfriend's mouth.

Dean's fingers slid along Sam's shoulders, pushing off the coat and dropping it onto the side of his mattress. His hands curled down along the hem of Sam's shirt and pulled it up, breaking the kiss long enough to tug the material off before dropping down to work kisses along his collarbone. "Wanna make you feel good Sam," Dean breathed into his skin, trailing his lips over the creamy expanse of taut skin.

Humming softly Sam let his head fall back so Dean could move any way across his skin that he wanted. "You _always_ make me feel good," he mumbled as desire began to creep along his spine. Dean could do that - it just moments, a gentle kiss and a few soft touches - Dean made Sam's heart beat so steady and full.

Here, wrapped up in the warmth and scent of his boyfriend Sam could forget anything, _believe_ anything. Slipping still cold fingers under the hem of Dean's t-shirt Sam smiled at the warmth of the other boy's skin. "Warm," he grinned for a moment then it faded into a more blissful expression as Dean's mouth moved along his shoulder.

Wrapping his hands around Sam's hipbones, Dean lifted the boy and turned him, dropping him down onto the edge of the bed and sliding off to land on his knees. "Can I..." Dean tugged at Sam's waist line, sliding the button half out of its hold. A small moan fell from Sam's lips and he smiled, freeing the button and dipping down to press his lips along his boyfriend's waist line. He sucked kisses over Sam's skin, just over the line of denim. "I think I can feel your heart racing," he murmured, tongue dipping into the boy's belly button as his upper body ground slowly into Sam's crotch.

Falling back to lean on his hands Sam hummed quietly and rolled his body up into his boyfriend's mouth. "Is. It is," Sam caught his bottom lip under his teeth for a few moments, "racing I mean." He smiled and closed his eyes, legs stretching out to press against Dean's hips. "Have the house-" Sam sucked in a sharp breath as Dean's chest ground hard against the hard line in his jeans. _To ourselves_ was what he'd meant to say but he suddenly didn't care very much. Dropping his head back Sam moaned loudly and pushed his hips up toward Dean's firm body.

Glancing up at his boyfriend Dean grinned and pulled him up by his jeans, dragging the zipper the rest of the way down and curling his fingers around the jeans and boxers beneath. "Yeah, just you and me. Means you can be as loud as you want. So you better do that."

Dean loved hearing Sam's moans, it drove him crazy. And now Dean had a few thoughts in mind for what he'd like to do to his boyfriend to make him forget this entire situation. For now at least. He dropped down and pulled off Sam's shoes and socks, setting them to the side before tugging the jeans and boxers the rest of the way off. "Sammy," Dean breathed, spreading Sam's legs wider apart and beginning a trail of kisses from inside the knee and lower, sucking a hard bruise just inside the thigh.

" _God_..." Sam's body lifted off the bed and he scrambled to stay on the edge of the mattress. "Dean, _Jesus_." It was the kind of sensation that made Sam want to pull away because it was just _so_ much and then his body would fight to stay because the bliss that he was drowning in made it all so worthwhile. His feet slid along the carpet and he struggled to hold himself up on trembling arms; finally giving up he fell back onto his elbows and peered down at his boyfriend.

Hearing the way Sam moaned his name was almost too much and Dean inhaled sharply, giving himself a full lungful of Sam's scent. Which was basically amazing. "Do you trust me?" Dean asked in a quiet whisper, dipping forward to nuzzle along Sam's hard flesh, sorting through the curls along the base. "Sam?" He prompted when it didn't seem like his boyfriend had heard him. Of course Dean's fingers massaging his thighs and the air releasing teasingly along swollen flesh was probably distracting.

"Mmm?" Sam opened his eyes a little wider, dopey grin covering his face. "'Course I trust you." His hips rolled up slightly as another puff of warm breath ghosted up his sensitive skin. "Always," he murmured and closed his eyes to absorb the way Dean's fingers were moving over him, working the last of the remaining tension out of his muscles.

Smiling warmly, Dean crawled up enough to crush his lips to Sam's and work kisses along the silky softness. When he pulled back he kissed his way down Sam's chest, fingers pressing between them to curl around Sam's dick and stroke up slowly. This was never enough of this, never enough time learning the taste and feel of his boyfriend. "I think I'm gonna try something new," he whispered against Sam's hipbone, teeth dragging over the skin. His tongue darted out to circle along the head, flicking along the slit at the barely formed drop of pre come.

"N..New?" Sam would have launched up off the bed if it weren't for the fact that there was _no_ way he wanted to get any further away from Dean. Whimpering Sam hooked his leg around Dean's hip and pulled him closer; he could feel his dick twitching greedily as his boyfriend's tongue was there and gone so quickly. Sam reached down - overcome by the need to touch Dean somehow. He fell to the side a little when his arm moved and then his fingers were threading through his boyfriend's hair.

"Good new, I promise," Dean murmured and set about exploring every inch of Sam's dick with his tongue, not stopping until the boy was squirming and writhing constantly beneath him. "Just tell me to stop if it's too much okay?" Dean glanced up at his boyfriend and smiled softly before dropping down and resuming the slow drag of his tongue up red swollen flesh. A rush of pleasure coursed through him as he dropped lower and sucked at the fleshy sac, moaning at the fresh wave of salty heat that spread across his tongue. His lips were in constant movement now along Sam's skin, greedily tasting every inch of him.

Dean's words caught Sam's attention because _Jesus Christ_ if things got any better he was kind of certain he would just explode. Bits of very happy Sam everywhere. And then Dean's was sucking on his balls and his mind went completely blank beyond the "Fuck," he hissed out of his mouth. Wriggling slowly Sam pulled one leg up on the bed and let it fall to the side, his hips were moving almost like he was floating in water- constant and fluid. Because there was nothing better than Dean in the world and every single kiss, lick, touch was driving Sam slowly insane and healing everything that was wounded anywhere in him.

Securing a hand on Sam's inner thigh Dean spread him wider apart and sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, pulling back enough to peer down at his boyfriend's flushed face. "God, you're so fuckin' gorgeous," Dean murmured and dropped slowly lower, pressing his tongue just behind Sam's balls and slowly sliding across, testing how Sam might react to him kissing lower. Dean liked to think of himself oddly curious about most things, and the idea of exploring with Sam was making his mind spin. His fingers dug into Sam's muscles, lifting him up and Dean experimentally licked lower.

Heart thudding out a crazy rhythm Sam jolted on the bed, shoulders rolling forward as his hand slipped down to Dean's shoulder. "Dean," he whimpered softly, fingers curling so hard into Dean's flesh Sam wondered for a fleeting moment if he was hurting him. His mouth was moving as he tried to tell Dean the thousand feelings that shot through him and ricocheted through his body but all he managed to do was squeeze his eyes shut and moan. "Oh..."

"You okay?" Dean asked quietly, eyes trained up on Sam's flushed face. It didn't seem like Sam was complaining about the new explorations so Dean shifted back once more, sitting on his heels and pulling Sam's body up to gain more access for his tongue. "Just tell me to stop if it's too much alright?" He insisted quietly once more and used his hands to spread Sam's skin apart, moaning softly in his throat as Sam squirmed beneath him. This was _really_ a thousand times more hot than Dean expected it to be.

"No stopping," Sam murmured even as he felt like his skin was crawling with some kind of buzzing sensation that was making it hard to breathe. "None," he repeated just in case. Smiling, Sam turned his face into his arm to stifle his moan.

With a grin Dean dipped down and breathed deeply to steady himself before slowly flicking his tongue out. The puckered flesh was musky, tangy almost, but not unpleasant. He'd gotten the idea in his mind, not too long ago, to taste every inch of Sam and now he took his opportunity. Dean's tongue moved in steady, slow strokes along the cleft, with just barely enough pressure to cause friction as his bravado strengthened. Beneath him Sam was in constant movement and Dean tested to see what would drive Sam the craziest. The tip of his tongue circled along the entrance, prodding slowly, fingers extending to wrap along the base of his boyfriend's cock and stroke slowly up.

It was almost more than Sam could bear. At first his brain reeled at what Dean was doing - some part of him thinking that it was something they shouldn't do - something that shouldn't feel quite so mind-blowing. Then his brain just shut off. Dean's tongue was sending sparks flying along Sam's legs, his skin burning with each sweep of moist heat. His dick was so hard he could feel every pulse of blood in his veins and he had to squeeze his eyes shut and hang on to the quilt - quite convinced the world was tilting to the side.

When the area was thoroughly soaked, glistening in the soft light of the room Dean pulled back, he brought his finger slowly forward. Sam was literally a wreck beneath him, eyes lust blown and almost fully dilated. Dean didn't think he'd ever seen the boy's skin so flushed with arousal. Swallowing the taste thickly down, Dean panted softly and rubbed along the puckered entrance, working the saliva into the skin. "Okay?" He whispered and pressed just the tip of his finger forward, barely pulling the muscles apart, free hand stroking almost lazily along Sam's dick.

Sam felt dopey, Dean-drunk and faint. _Okay_. The word soaked in through Sam's flesh, Dean's voice bringing him back a little from the edge he was teetering on. "Okay," he murmured softly, "Dean-" Sam's reply was choked off as his hips rocked up to slide his stiff flesh through his boyfriend's hand again. "S'crazy," he whispered, "crazy good." _God_ he had no idea if he was even making sense but Dean was everywhere at once and Sam felt like he was flying apart.

"I know, seeing you like this," Dean shook his head and sat back to watch his finger slip further inside his boyfriend, pausing at the first knuckle. "It's so fucking hot Sam, wish you could see yourself." He wet his lips slowly and watched for any signs that Sam was in pain as he pushed his finger deeper. The muscles clenched around his finger and Dean suppressed a groan, just imagining how tight it would feel around him. Not that they'd be having sex, Dean wasn't going to let things get that far and he wanted their first time to be special, but _still_. "How does it feel Sammy?" He asked, voice deep as he rocked forward slightly and flicked his tongue over the pre come covered slit.

"Good. _Jesus_ , Dean..." Sam's hips twisted to the side. He didn't even have the words to try and explain it - it was strange... and unusual sensation but his body reacted to it in a way that Sam hadn't expected. "Dean?" Sam's fingers reached down to flutter over the back of Dean's hand. "I need..." Sam's voice was wispy in his own ears and he felt too far away from Dean.

Dean could tell by the look on his boyfriend's face that he'd pushed about as far as he could for now. Dean knew that feeling, wanting to come _so_ bad it was almost painful. "Yeah Sam," he nodded slowly and dipped forward, sucking the head of Sam's dick between his lips and pulling him further in. His finger pushed all the way inside Sam with the slide down over the swollen skin and it was almost enough to make Dean come. He moaned around Sam's dick, pulling at the skin and crooking his finger, curious as to if he could hit that spot in Sam that he was certain would make him come immediately.

Sam's eyes shot open for a few moments and he arched up, body curving toward Dean's touch. It was as though his body had no idea what to focus on - the sensation of Dean's finger sliding into him - the sweetest kind of invasion - or the brush of his hand over Sam's dick.

Then - none of that mattered. Dean's finger swept over something inside Sam, something that nearly stopped his heart. Pleasure shot through him at such a speed that his vision clouded. He gasped out a strangled sound as he felt his ass clench tight around Dean's finger. His arm flailed up - gripping Dean's hair as his body almost doubled over to send his release shooting out of his dick. With each pulse of come it felt like Sam's muscle were all contracting, his entire body rippling and relaxing then starting the cycle over again. He thought he heard his own voice thick and rich murmuring Dean's name but the sound of his blood rushing in his ears was so loud.

Watching Sam come apart was possibly the best thing he'd ever seen, outside the way the boy reacted when he finally found that spot in him. Dean panted softly, falling back to watch Sam as the trembles worked their way over his body. Wetting his lips slowly, Dean leaned forward and dragged his tongue up through the pool of come low on Sam's stomach, sweeping at the liquid and gathering it along his tongue. He could feel Sam shaking beneath him as he licked him clean and pulled his finger free, caressing Sam's sides softly. "So beautiful," Dean whispered once he'd finished, sitting back on his thighs and swallowing.

It didn't seem like Sam was going to be able to move any time soon so Dean took pity on him and climbed up onto the mattress beside him, tugging him until he could spread out, head situated on the pillow. A small smile played across his lips as he finally kicked his shoes off and tugged at his jeans to relieve some pressure. "Love you," Dean murmured, pressing soft kisses along Sam's jaw.

Sam opened one eye slightly and peered across at Dean's blurry face. "You," he panted softly, "made my eyes go all weird" Shaking his head gently Sam rolled toward his boyfriend and turned into the kisses humming quietly when he finally had Dean's mouth against his. "Was... awesome," Sam grinned against his boyfriend's lips.

Chuckling softly, Dean deepened the kiss for a moment and gently worked his tongue forward before falling back. "I would sure think so," he teased and pressed another small kiss forward before sighing softly. "Didn't push you too far did I?" His fingers caressed along Sam's arm slowly.

"Dean," Sam's lashes flickered open and he stared his boyfriend, "I love you." Sam shrugged like it was the answer to every question in the world then slid his palm down the front of Dean's pants and curled his palm over the stiff flesh of his dick. "You're so hard," he whispered into Dean's mouth before dragging his tongue along the seam of his boyfriend's lips. Tilting his head slightly Sam kissed his way down Dean's neck, sucking on his Adam's apple and then licking his way further down. His finger curled around the older boy's dick, stroking slowly as his thumb swept over the head.

Shoulders shuddering slightly, Dean groaned and let his head tilt back, giving Sam more room for his lips. His hips rocked up into Sam's touch and his fingers curled around the boy's arm. "You, you make me this way... so hard," he gasped softly and clenched his eyes closed. There was no way he'd last at this point, already so close and still tasting so much of Sam on his tongue. Dean fell back onto his back and pulled Sam with him, over him, bringing their lips together for a rough kiss.

A half-moan half-growl disappeared into their kiss as Sam settled his exhausted body over Dean's. His fingers were still moving on the other boy's dick, the silky flesh smooth and hot beneath his palm. Grabbing a handful of short hair Sam yanked Dean's head back and dragged his lips away from the other boy's mouth. His teeth grazed over Dean's stubbled then Sam bit down, rolling the sensitive flesh between his teeth. All the while, he stroked Dean tenderly then roughly never letting him get used to the touch before altering it slightly. "Don't come," Sam whispered against Dean's flesh as he started to slither down his boyfriend's body.

He gazed up at Dean, fingers trailed down his chest. "Want you to come in my mouth," Sam whispered, a little shy about asking. He'd only done it once but he loved the sensation - loved feeling like it was all for him - that _he_ was what Dean wanted. Nuzzling at Dean's hip bone, Sam trailed the tip of his tongue down it, still staring up at his boyfriend's flushed cheekbones.

"Barely gonna last," Dean gasped out, eyes fluttering open and closed as he fought against the waves of arousal sparked up from Sam's lips moving over his skin. He tried to squirm out of his jeans just to get some relief and - hopefully - get Sam's lips on him as soon as possible. It was driving him so insane it was almost too much. "God, Sam," he moaned loudly and spread his legs as wide as possible within his confines, drinking in the burning feel of his boyfriend's lips just barely on his skin.

Tugging his boyfriend's jeans down just enough Sam sank his mouth down over the blazing flesh. The taste of Dean was familiar and Sam sucked him down as far as he could, swallowing, he relaxed his throat and let Dean thrust into his mouth. Curling his fingers around the base of his boyfriend's dick Sam sucked in air through his nose and tried hard to stay relaxed as Dean's hips thrust up off the mattress.

It took less than a handful of moments for Dean to completely lose control of himself. In that short time Dean found that thrusting his hips up into Sam's mouth was so _hot_ it made his lungs burn with sharply inhaled breaths. The fact that Sam just went along with it, opened up to him, had Dean keening in an almost unnatural way. His fingers tugged a warning along Sam's hair before a quick shudder rocked down his spine. Dean moaned his lover's name low in his throat and emptied his release into the boy's mouth, clenching his eyes shut as he rocked up through the heat.

Sucking and licking, swirling his tongue around Dean's flesh, Sam swallowed Dean's come. He coughed once, his breathing all out of whack but recovered quickly. The taste of Dean was intoxicating and Sam flicked his tongue over the slit in the hard shaft, squeezing his fingers tightly until Dean's moan changed to an almost-whimper. Pulling back, Sam placed a gentle kiss on Dean's hip before crawling back up his body and straddling him then collapsing. He could feel Dean's chest still heaving beneath him and smiled sleepily.

Feeling like it took real effort to move his arms around Sam's body; Dean breathed deeply and stroked a hand slowly down his back. "You're amazing," he whispered, not even bothering to pull his eyes open.

"I am," Sam agreed and nodded before laughing quietly. "I love you, Dean. More than ice cream." Sam's heart had finally slowed to its regular speed and he could hear Dean's thumping away below his ear. "You need me to move?" Sam wanted to stay right where he was, blanketing his boyfriend's body and feeling so much of him.

"Nope," Dean shook his head and pressed a kiss to the closest patch of skin he could reach. "Let's just spend the rest of the night like this," he murmured, feeling his body loosen out as post orgasm haze swept over him.

"MMhhm," Sam curled his hand up by his chin and smiled.

-=-=-=-

Things with Brian seemed to cool down a little after the incident in which Jane had screamed. Dean and Sam never learned if she'd seen Brian crowding in on Sam's space but something had obviously changed and there was a thick layer of tension blanketing the house. They did their best to ignore it in the last few months of Dean living there. In the beginning of December Sam got off school for the winter break and they doubled their efforts to find the best place for Dean to move in to. They also began a hunt for items for the apartment that Jane had agreed to let them keep in the garage.

On Christmas morning Dean crawled out of his bed in the early hours of the morning and slid in next to Sam, curling around his side and gently kissing him awake. They barely made a sound as they explored each other’s bodies with kisses and Dean had never really felt more in love with the boy. Dean had gotten Sam a collection of first edition books he'd found in the book store a few doors down from Dairy Queen. They were random, nothing particularly special and Dean had spent the entire time blushing while Sam opened them. His fears about Sam liking the gift were wiped away when the boy beamed brightly at him.

In turn Sam got Dean a coffee pot. Some people might have called in impersonal but Dean was oddly touched by the gift. Not only was it practical, it showed how well Sam knew him, that a morning without coffee for Dean was not a good morning at all. Sam had fumbled over an explanation, clearly just as unused to giving gifts as Dean was, but Dean took mercy on him quickly and deeply kissed him to stop the flow of words. It was the best Christmas Dean had ever had even if that afternoon they'd come just moments from being almost caught kissing in the laundry room.

Dean had just barely stepped away and turned to the side when Brian came into the room. He was clearly displeased at Dean being there, though Dean didn't leave, and departed a few minutes later. Dean had been mildly shocked to momentarily see the ghost boy flicker in the wake of Brian's disappearance. It strengthened the idea in his mind that the two were somehow connected and he shared the idea with Sam once they were back upstairs. Sam seemed to agree and they decided they needed to figure out a way to research the subject.

With Dean's plan to move in a month however, their time was spread thin and they weren't given much of an opportunity. Over the almost year he'd been with Sam, they had started accumulating things which meant for the first time in his life Dean actually had things to pack. Halfway through the month of January Dean and Sam chose the perfect apartment less than three blocks away in either direction from Sam's home and the Dairy Queen. They also managed to sort through their money enough to both get cell phones with a month to month service, this way they could text and call each other as much as they wanted when they were forced to be apart.

Jane allowed Dean to use a stack of old newspapers from the garage to wrap up the items they'd started collecting over the past summer from random garage sales. Dean signed his lease so they could begin moving things in before his birthday came. With very little effort they managed to talk Jonathan into meeting them at the thrift store with his truck to help transport a couch they'd managed to purchase for less than fifty dollars. He didn't have a bed set but Jonathan had turned up that day with a queen size box spring and mattress and said it was all Dean's free of charge.

All in all, things were going along at a pace that was both mind blowing and overwhelming. Before Dean could even really grasp what was happening it was the morning of his birthday and Brian was knocking on the door, waking them at hardly half past eight. Dean rubbed at his eyes, opening the door with mild surprise to see Kathy, his social worker there waiting. Apparently they took the kicking you out on your eighteenth birthday seriously.

Less than two hours later and Dean and Sam were sitting in the middle of his apartment. Boxes were surrounding them, seeming like far more than Dean had thought now that the furniture was in but the place was _his_. With a little persuading Dean had convinced Jane to let Sam stay the night since it was Saturday. He'd caught Brian's disapproving look but Dean had been smart and asked while Kathy was still gathering up the signed papers that now made Dean an adult.

"Damn, how did we get this much stuff?" Dean asked as he picked around the boxes, trying to determine where to start first.

"It's nice, homes have stuff. You have a home." Sam smiled wistfully and poked around in one of the boxes by his hip. "Hey! This is my t-shirt," Sam tugged his old Led Zeppelin t-shirt out of the box. Actually, it had been Dean's t-shirt until Sam had permanently borrowed it.

"That's _my_ t-shirt you little butt," Dean teased and jumped forward, hooking his arm around Sam and pulling him in. His lips brushed beneath Sam's ear and he grinned. "Sam, I want you to consider this your home too okay? ‘Cause it is, just as much and you're always welcome here day and night." He squeezed Sam around the middle tighter, enjoying not having to worry about being caught.

"I know," Sam ran the hem of the shirt through his fingers and leaned hard into Dean's chest. "S'just," he pressed his lips together for a few moments, "I'm a little scared. You know," he tilted his head to the side. "You said I should tell you," he whispered.

"You should tell me," Dean whispered, stroking a hand up through Sam's hair. "Are you scared about... what might happen? Remember what we talked about?" Dean had already been arranging with Jonathan for Sam to work the evening shifts as late as he could at his age, giving him time to do homework at the library before school then work after that. It could only be a few nights a week but he'd do all he could.

Sam nodded. "I remember." There was a huge lump in Sam's throat and he turned into Dean's body, burying his face in Dean's chest. "What do I do if-" Sam had thought long and hard about whether he'd be able to get away from Brian if he _really_ fought and he just wasn't sure when it came down to it. Brian was still taller than him even though, as Dean was fond of saying, Sam was growing like a weed. "Fuck," Sam didn't swear very often but it honestly seemed like the perfect word. Sighing, he sat up and smiled, "I'm keeping the shirt."

Worry settled low in the pit of Dean's stomach and he nodded slowly, forcing a smile on his face. "Yeah, you can keep the shirt." He sighed softly and curled his fingers around Sam's arm. "Listen to me Sam, if he tries something, like, really goes for it. You kick him in the balls, do whatever you have too, all of it can be claimed as self-defense later. Then you run. You come here and you don't stop okay?" If the Brian issue wasn't so present, Dean would have been overly thrilled to be moving out on his own. It was the main thing that made this all so bittersweet. That and leaving Sam, not having him sharing the same room and often the same bed.

"I'll be fine," Sam flapped the t-shirt out then pulled it down over his own, "I'm tough, right?" He grinned crookedly and punched Dean gently on the shoulder. They both knew that the next while would be challenging but Sam had almost blind faith in Dean and anything that he said. "You gonna get pictures for the walls? We should buy a couple of those disposable cameras and take real artsy photos all over town and put them up." The whole artistic thing had really started to buzz around in Sam's brain lately; he'd even bought a small sketchbook with some of his spare money to keep at Dean's.

Smiling softly Dean tried to shrug off the worry and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds cool. I'll let you do the artist photo taking but I'll tag along for the hell of it." He rubbed at his shoulder for a moment before weaving through the boxes to the kitchen. "Hey you hungry? We can break in the set of pots and pans Jane gave me." Dean had been surprised by the gift that served as both a Christmas and birthday present. It was kind of a relief, for some reason he didn't think you should buy pots and pans used.

Sam shrugged, "want me to make you something?" Sam figured as soon as Dean started using the pots there would be a burning incident. He loved Dean but the guy wasn't very good at cooking. Pushing up from the floor Sam bent down quickly to kiss Dean's forehead. "Don't want you burning down the-"

Both boys heard the distinct ring of their new cell phones and Sam hunted around quickly for his jacket. Pulling out his phone he looked at the screen, glanced up at Dean with wide eyes then clicked a button and held the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

Sam's eyes locked with Dean's when he heard Brian's voice. "Samuel, you didn't take your laundry out of the dryer and tonight is garbage night."

Sam frowned, "I'll do it tomorrow first thing when I get-"

"I want you home tonight." Brian's voice was firm and Sam glanced up at Dean again.

"Jane said I could spend the night here, and help Dean to unpac-"

"Samuel. Don't argue with me. You leave there now and come home to do your chores. If you'd taken care of things before you left we wouldn't be having this conversation. You understand me?"

"Yes Sir." Sam closed his eyes, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Brian's voice dropped to an almost-hiss, "I know exactly how far away you are Sam and I have my suspicions about what's going on over there. Don't test me." The line clicked and went dead against Sam's ear.

Dropping the phone to his lap Sam could almost _feel_ the blood draining out of his face. "I gotta go."

"What?" Dean stepped closer, eyes wide with disbelief. "But... Jane said you could stay. And it's my-" Dean cut himself off, shaking off the ridiculous hurt that he wasn't going to get to have Sam around on his birthday. He was more worried about Sam. "What did he want? Can you come back? I could go with you." Dean was already moving for his coat, thinking if anything he'd just walk Sam home.

Sam instantly felt tears welling up in his eyes. "He said he had suspicions about us and not to test him. It's my fault," Sam wiped angrily at his face. "I forgot my stuff in the dryer and it's garbage night and I forgot 'cause I wanted to come over here. I'm really sorry." He could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks. Sam had _known_ it was going to be like this, not hours after Dean had moved out and Brian was pushing.

"Hey, it's not your fault," Dean stepped quickly forward and brushed at Sam's cheeks. "Sam, it's him. It's Brian doing this and not you okay? Listen just. _Jesus_ put the chair under the door okay? Make sure you take it with you in the bathroom too. And I know it's going to be hard but _try_ not to be in a room with him without Jane." Dean snapped his jaw closed, knowing he could babble all this stuff at Sam but it wouldn't do much good. There was nothing he could do to help Sam now and he'd never felt so suddenly hopeless.

Sam sucked in a shuddering breath and pressed his lips tight together. He couldn’t stop crying and he felt like a complete idiot but he'd been looking forward to Dean's birthday for so long and the idea of having the first night together in his new apartment had been keeping him going for so long. Now, it was all taken away from him and Sam couldn't help thinking this was how things were going to work out for him. "I better go," he whispered. Bending to pick up his jacket Sam fumbled with it for a few moments trying to get his arms in the sleeves.

"Oh," Sam's eyes widened, "your birthday present." He sniffed and pulled a small box out of his pocket. "Here, I wanted... well, I was gonna give it to you later while we were in bed - you know? Just you and me." Everything Sam said was making him feel worse. "I saved some work money for a long time."

Taking the box slowly Dean's breath caught in his throat as he opened it and exposed the silver band tucked into the slot. "Sam," he whispered and tugged it free, sighing shakily as he caught the word _always_ inscribed along the inside. "I love it," Dean looked up and stepped forward, throwing his arms around Sam. He really didn't want to let him go. "Call me, please, or text. Let me know you're okay." Dean hadn't even been aware of his own tears until he could feel them burning along his cheeks. This just wasn't _fair_. "And come by tomorrow, if you can," Dean pulled back enough to stare at his boyfriend, brushing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I will, I'll be fine." Sam leaned forward and kissed the tears off his boyfriend's cheeks. "Love you." Turning quickly, Sam hurried out the door because if he'd stayed a moment longer no one could have dragged him out of there. Having to go back to that house was all kinds of wrong and Sam had never hated anyone before in his life. He hated Brian. Closing the door softly behind him Sam pressed his forehead to the door for a few moments before he moved down the hallway and out into the night air.

Glancing up at Dean's window, Sam waved. He couldn't see Dean, but he knew that he'd be watching. Stuffing his hands in his pockets Sam jogged down the street. The sooner he could get home, the sooner he could go to his room and close the door and just stay there, safe.

It was only three blocks and even though it took Sam only minutes to get home he felt like he was a million miles away from Dean. The lights were blazing in the house and Sam hovered outside for a few precious moments until he saw Jane’s shadow passing the living room window. Running up the sidewalk Sam opened the door quickly and snatched the garbage bag from inside the front door and walked around back with it. It really wouldn't have _killed_ Brian to take out the garbage one damn time. Dropping the bag in the can Sam slammed the lid down as hard as he could and stormed back up the path.

It was quiet when Sam opened the front door the second time. Unfortunately, the lights were still on so that meant that someone was still up. Peering into the living room and seeing no one Sam spun and headed for the stairs.

"Samuel."

Sam froze with one foot on the bottom step. "I'm going to bed, Brian. I took the garbage out."

"Things are gonna be different around here now, Sammy." Brian's voice always made Sam feel kind of ill. He kept his eyes averted thinking how close he was to being safe in his bedroom, curling up in Dean's bed.

"I'm tired, Brian, just... just let me go."

"Well, what about your clothes? Forgot those in the dryer didn't you?"

Sam could feel Brian's eyes boring into him and he shrugged his shoulder up then rolled it back trying to fend off the feeling.

"Sam, honey!" Jane's voice preceded her down the stairs and Sam could feel himself nearly ready to throw himself into her arms. "I was just putting your clothes on your bed; you left them in the dryer. Just put them away for me okay hon?" She hesitated a few steps above Sam as Brian came into view. "Everything alright boys?"

Hurrying past Jane, Sam thumped up the stairs, "thanks, Jane, so much - you're the best." He didn't relax until he was in their room with the chair firmly jammed under the door knob. His hands were still shaking as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and punched in Dean's speed dial number.

"Everything okay?" Dean said as a greeting, sucking in a breath so hopefully Sam wouldn't hear the tears that still lingered.

"Jane just saved my ass." Sam was still panting softly and shrugged out of his jacket then flicked off the light and held the phone between his ear and shoulder as he took his jeans off. "She was coming down the stairs and ... yeah, Brian's pissed. I'm safe now - and I'm miserable." Tugging the covers back on Dean's bed Sam climbed in and burrowed down in the scent of his boyfriend.

Exhaling slowly to control his waves of emotion Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know the feeling." He sighed softly and rubbed his palm against his thigh, listening to Sam breath as he stared down at the pot of boiling water. "You don't think I can burn mac'n'cheese do you?" Dean mainly asked only to get his heart to stop feeling like it was being squeezed painfully in his chest.

"I think _you_ can." Sam's tummy rumbled but there was no way he was going downstairs. Rolling over quickly he pulled the top drawer open. "Hey, you left your candy stash." It felt good to have a smile creep onto his cheeks even if it was tainted a little by how sad he felt. "God," he pulled out a tootsie roll and laid back down in Dean's bed, "I'ma miss you so much."

Smiling sadly, Dean tore the box of food open. "I miss you already. It's weird being here. I've never lived alone. It feels so... empty." Dean thought it was mildly depressing, especially since he wouldn't have even known what he was missing if he hadn't met Sam.

"I'm so glad you're a part of my life," Dean murmured softly and poured the macaroni into the water, groaning when the packet of sauce he forgot to take out slid into the boiling substance. "Yeah, I may actually burn this."

Laughing softly, Sam opened his tootsie roll and stuffed it in his mouth. "Just turn the burner off when the pasta is cooked, mix the sauce off the stove. Oh, and I always put extra cheese and bit of extra butter in." Still chewing, Sam listened to the sounds of Jane and Brian heading to their bedroom. "They've gone to bed," he whispered into the phone. "Gonna be a long night for me."

"Wish you could just sneak out and come over here," Dean lamented quietly, matching Sam's tone even as he walked to fridge to get some extra cheese and butter. "You have to open tomorrow, it's not like they'd ever know since they'll be at church." Dean sighed softly once more and shrugged even though Sam couldn't see it.

"This'll be the worst time right? The first night?" Sam sighed, he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince. "Do you really think I should sneak out?"

"Well... sneaking out would be risky. Guess if you felt like you could actually do it." Dean tore at the cheese packets and stared down at the noodles, wondering how he knew if they were done. "This wasn't how I expected to spend my eighteenth birthday. At least not since you came in the picture." Dean was thinking something with a lot more... kissing. And more than that. Attempting to not burn his dinner wasn't working for him.

"The noodles are done after seven minutes, and rinse them in water first before you put the cheese in?" Sam shifted on the bed and walked over to press his ear to the door. "Do you think they'd notice tomorrow morning? They never check on me right?" His heart was speeding up just thinking about it.

Dean was a little surprised Sam was even seriously considering it. Swallowing thickly he glanced at the clock and considered if Sam would be putting too much at risk by coming over. "I'm not going to lie to you Sam; I'd give anything to have you here. But I don't want to get you in trouble. They could ground you or something. So no, I don't think they'd check on you but it's completely up to you if you want to risk it." Dean held his breath slightly, unsure if his desire for Sam to say yes outweighed the risks.

"You're probably right," Sam sighed and padded back to sit down on the bed. "If I get grounded I'll never see you again." Shuffling his feet on the floor Sam glanced around the dark room. "I should let you go and eat. By my calculations, your dinner should be done. If it isn't you'll be eating a sandwich." Sam couldn't help smiling at his kitchen-challenged boyfriend.

Sighing, sad and resigned this time, Dean pulled the strainer out of the bottom cabinet. "Alright... love you Sam. Call me tomorrow. Hopefully you can come by." He turned the burner off, wondering how he'd ever feed himself if Sam wasn't around to help him.

"'kay, text me before you go to bed." Sam sighed and tilted his head to the side. "Love you, night."

It was too quiet once Sam was no longer on the line and Dean hummed just to pass the time as he went about making up his food. Surprisingly, he didn't burn it and, after the first tentative bite Dean was pleased with himself. Enough to even consider saving the leftovers for the following day. He was on budget after all.

Dean sat alone at his kitchen table in the silence of his apartment and ate his food, wondering how the hell he was going to pass the time. Just as he was rising with the empty bowl a knock at the door caught his attention and Dean's heart leaped in his chest against his control. It wasn't going to be Sam, he knew that, but there was still something worth hoping for. Brows furrowing Dean crossed the room and turned the lock, pulling the door open and nearly shutting it once more when it turned out to actually be Sam. "You came," he whispered, blinking rapidly in case Sam disappeared suddenly.

As soon as the door opened, Sam grinned. "Don't be mad. I had my phone in my hand the whole way here - you know in case zombies got me or something. I know I shouldn't have come but it really wasn't fair because of your birthday and it's your first night here - and you said it was our place so on the first night I should be staying here. They won't know - I left the chair under the door and climbed out the window. Think I scratched my cheek on the wall. Even if Brian did try the door - he knows I wouldn't answer him." Sam sucked in a breath. "I brought candy?" He held out a handful of Tootsie rolls and grinned hopefully.

"Have I mentioned how you're the best boyfriend ever?" Dean grinned and reached out, snagging Sam's arm and pulling him quickly inside. "I'll take the candy, you eat the rest of the not burned mac'n'cheese." The pressure in Dean's chest already felt more tolerable and he couldn't resist pushing Sam up against the door and kissing him thoroughly, just because he could.


	6. Chapter 6

Living alone was something Dean had often thought about but never pictured accurately. The best moments consisted of whenever Sam was around, which wasn't nearly enough for Dean's liking. Over the first month of living in his apartment Dean discovered all the unpleasant things about living alone. He'd always thought, when imagining the day as he shifted from one foster home to the next, that he'd savor all the quiet moments. It wasn't that way. Waking up more often than not in an empty room, not being able to roll over and see Sam, made his heart clench painfully.

This was why he started waking up purposefully early and going out of his way to wait a few houses down from Sam's. This way he could walk to school with him and get to steal a few kisses before the boy had to go. It also made the ache of not having him around more tolerable. Sadly, it also tended to be the time Dean heard about the ways Brian was making life more difficult for Sam. He attempted to corner him almost constantly whenever Jane wasn't around and Sam was brave enough to venture out of his room. Dean's distrust in the man was palpable and he'd give anything to take Sam from that place.

Most of Dean's day was taken up with working. He didn't mind, it passed the time fairly quickly and more often than not Sam bypassed the library and came to do his homework sitting in the booth. Dean learned to take his breaks around that time so his boyfriend could fill him in on his day. Their legs would rest together; the closest they dared to get at the work place. Truthfully, Dean savored these little moments, when they felt like a real couple even if they were hiding it. It was simply nice to feel normal.

Very slowly Dean was making progress on unpacking his boxes. It wasn't like he didn't want them done, he just didn't want to run out of things to do when he was home alone and trying not to freak out about Sam's well-being. They kept up an almost constant stream of text messages, trying to stay in continuous contact. It was never enough for Dean but he was learning that this was just how things were with Sam. Nothing would ever be enough.

As the weeks shifted into months Dean's box pile diminished slowly but surely. Whenever he could, whenever Sam was over, they enjoyed the idea of living their lives like this. Because of everything the boys had been through, both already felt older than what their ages really were and sometimes in the heat of the moment Dean had to remind himself that Sam was still fifteen. That would be changing soon. Not that sixteen was much older than fifteen, realistically, but it was one step closer. Dean tried his hardest not to think about two years of attempting to keep this lifestyle up. He just wanted Sam with him _now_.

They slowly decorated his apartment, mostly with Sam's art. Dean encouraged him, grinning and praising drawings and photographs, framing what Sam deemed worthy and standing on step stools to get the right alignment. The apartment steadily shifted in Dean's mind from a place he'd be for a while to his _home_. The fact that he'd never really felt like he had a home before was soothed with this new idea, and it only grew whenever Sam was there.

It was clear Brian's suspicions about his and Sam's relationship were more than he'd originally led them to believe. Whenever Jane gave Sam permission to come over, Brian would undoubtedly call with some lame excuse to bring him back home. Those were the nights that Sam sneaked out. It wasn't ideal for either of them, and Dean sometimes stayed awake late into the night with his arm around Sam, trying not to think about the consequences of Sam getting caught. The idea of Sam being taken away for any reason made Dean physically sick.

The day of Sam's sixteenth birthday was also their one year anniversary and Dean showed up to walk Sam to school with a bag of peanut M&Ms, knowing the boy wasn't likely to get cake. He didn't mention that he'd bought one at the store the night before and just grinned when Sam dragged him off into the bushes to give him a proper kiss as a hello and thank you. Sam had the day off work but came in after school to do his homework regardless. The group of workers had all pitched in to get Sam a set of drawing pens and a fancy, hardbound sketch book, per Dean's advice. It made Dean grin to see the emotion in Sam's eyes and the pleased flush on his cheeks.

Brian had already been expecting Sam's request to hang out with Dean after the man got off work and had insisted Sam needed to spend some time at home considering how often he wasn't there. Of course this consisted mainly of Sam hiding away in his room and Dean was _so_ tempted to march over there and punch Brian he nearly had to physically force himself to resist.

While waiting for the time to pass for Sam to sneak over, Dean set about unpacking the last of the two boxes still lingering in the living room. He'd wanted to do it with Sam, make the act official or something, but he was bored and still couldn't afford cable so it was a way to pass the time. The last box was filled with newspaper, items wrapped carefully between the old pages and Dean slowly unrolled the different nick knacks him and Sam had picked up the previous summer.

Lifting a glass toad to inspect, wondering how it ended up in the collection, Dean's eyes were drawn down to the discarded newspaper on the table. Something about the picture of the little boy on the page caught his attention and Dean frowned, setting the toad down and picking up the paper.

 _Local boy's death an unexpected tragedy_ , the headline read and Dean's eyes swept slowly over the words, picking up speed as they sank in. _Jane and Brian Wendell have been foster parents for five years now and this loss has greatly saddened them._ Dean's heart sped up in his chest, too quick. _The boy was playing with his soccer ball and slipped as he kicked it, falling down the stairs in the process._ Dean stared at the picture and the pieces clicked together painfully hard in his mind.

The boy, Dean knew him, but only in the vaguest sense. It was the ghost, the one always appearing when Brian was cornering Sam. _Mysterious bruises remain unexplained._ The words pounded into Dean's skull and he dropped the paper, spinning around to grab his cell phone. _Wendell's under temporary investigation._ The paper had said and Dean _knew_ in his heart that there was more to the story than the article suggested.

Sam didn't answer his phone when Dean called and something painful twisted in his gut. He barely managed to get his shoes on before he was tearing out the door and down the hallway, not even bothering to lock his apartment. Suddenly nothing else mattered but getting to Sam and making sure he was alright, then getting him the hell out of that house as soon as possible.

-=-=-=-

Sam was furious with Brian. There was only one reason that the man had insisted that Sam stay at the house and it was because he knew that Sam wanted to spend the night of his sixteenth birthday with Dean. He fumed quietly in the kitchen while he emptied the dishwasher, yet another chore that had been assigned to him since Dean had moved out. It wasn't that Sam minded doing things around the house but the Brian was loading him up with tasks to try and keep him there, make sure he was out of his room and wasn't able to spend as much time with Dean.

 _It was ridiculous._

Slamming the dishwasher closed Sam spun around to head upstairs and almost ran straight into Brian. Clenching his teeth Sam stepped back quickly, "Brian, I'm not in the mood." The heat of anger was rising in his cheeks.

"No need to be rude Sammy." Brian took a step closer and raised a dark eyebrow.

Sam wanted to smack the leer right off Brian's face. "Brian, it's my birthday. Can you cut me some slack and _don't_ call me Sammy." Dean called him Sammy and if that name came out of Brian's mouth one more time Sam really _would_ kick him in the nuts. Sliding down the counter a little, Sam leaned out a little to see if Jane was in the hallway or the living room.

"She's not home, _Sammy_." Brian moved faster than Sam had expected him to move and was suddenly pressed up against Sam's body, hips grinding once against Sam's.

Turning his face away Sam slammed his hands into Brian's chest. "Get the _fuck_ off me," Sam yelled. It was pointless; Brian was still stronger than him and no matter how hard Sam pushed at him he still seemed to be there. The guy was using almost his entire body-weight to hold Sam against the counter.

" _Don't_ swear at me." Brian pulled his arm back and slapped Sam hard across the face.

The sting of the slap left Sam's ears ringing and his eye started to burn. His vision actually swam for a moment before he launched into motion and tried to bring his knee up to Brian's crotch _just_ like Dean had told him. The problem was that Brian was expecting it and simply twisted to the side and grabbed Sam's wrists, wrestling them back until they were pinned to the counter.

"Don't, Brian! No, _Jesus_ ," fear was starting to well up inside Sam's chest and he tried to twist away but it just seemed to make things worse. He could feel Brian's breath on his neck and tears sprang to his eyes. Wrists aching and feeling like the bones were crunching together. "Dean!" Sam couldn't help calling out - it was the only thing that he could even think to do. He felt Brian shake him, and then the man's lips were on his neck and Sam felt like he would throw up.

 _Cold_.

The temperature in the kitchen dropped in an instant. Sam was startled and tried to stretch his neck away from Brian's lips and peer over his shoulder. _The boy._ "Help me," Sam whispered, straining so hard he was hurting himself. A tear fell slowly down his cheek and he stared at the little boy as seemed to disappear and then reappear a little closer, "please, please."

The boy seemed to be moving closer and Sam tried to blink away his tears so he could see. He fought, oh, he fought Brian with everything he had - tugging and pulling and trying to twist out of the man's grasp. It just wasn't happening and Sam could feel the strength being sapped out of him so quickly. Brian bit down on Sam's neck, _hard_ , and Sam cried out then lost his breath to a sob.

When he managed to focus his eyes he could see the stringy hair on the boy's head just behind Brian's shoulder. "Please," Sam sobbed. Something in his wrist felt like it snapped and he whipped his head away from Brian's.

Then everything seemed to change. Brian's grip loosened and Sam tore his wrist free, groaning as he tried to slide out from under the almost dead-weight of Brain's body. Sinking to the kitchen floor Sam tried to crawl and fell forward when pain shot through his wrist, his face slammed into the floor and he kicked his sneakers against the cupboards and the floor frantically as he tried to slide away from Brian. Finally running into the wall he turned to see where Brian was.

Still sobbing, Sam wiped at his eyes with his good hand and finally saw Brian writhing on the floor under the boy. The little boy's hand was somehow disappearing into Brian's chest and the man's chest was heaving as he tried to suck in air.

"Sam!" Dean called the moment the door burst open. He was panting, having run the whole way here, and hadn't stopped even when he noticed Jane stepping out of the car as he bolted past. She'd called his name but Dean was too focused on getting to his boyfriend and ensuring his safety.

The first thing he saw when he skidded to a halt in the kitchen doorway was Brian on the ground, the ghost boy over him and seemingly sucking the life from him. Then he heard registered what could have been Jane's scream but his eyes had been dragged to the side and the sight of Sam. "Shit," he hissed and slid to his boyfriend's side, dropping down to his knees and pulling him close. "Sam? It's okay, I'm here," he inspected the boy, noting how he cradled his wrist, the angry red mark on his cheek, the imprint of teeth on Sam's neck. "Jesus, Sam," Dean gasped on a sob, not even paying attention to what was happening around him.

Sam's breath left him and he blinked a few times in disbelief before falling against Dean's chest and sucking in a breath of air that was half cut off by another sob. Jane's scream broke through Sam's stupor momentarily and he curled himself even smaller against Dean's chest, shaking so badly his jaw was trembling.

Gathering Sam up in his arms, Dean held him close, turning slightly to try and determine what was happening. Jane was whispering now; face almost as pale as the ghost still over Brian's body. "Brian..." she breathed, half screamed once more and stepped forward. The ghost's head turned to her, eyes wide, and Jane swayed as if she might pass out. "Y-you... you lied. Brian. You said." Dean watched her head shake roughly from side to side. "Oh Joshua," her voice was high pitched and watery.

Dean watched as the ghost pulled away from Brian and the man pulled in a shaky and deep breath. The ghost continued to move toward Jane, arm extending and Dean gasped. His arms clutched protectively around Sam as the ghost looked toward him. It wavered for a moment, flickering in and out of existence before disappearing completely. "Fuck," Dean blinked rapidly and stroked a hand though Sam's hair, ready to just pick the boy up and carry him out of the house for good.

"Dean, please," Jane was across the room, kneeling beside her husband and checking his pulse. Their gazes met and she looked so broken it scared and shocked Dean. "Call 911, please, help me."

In his arms he could still feel Sam shaking but he couldn't bring himself to ignore the woman. She had been nice to him and Dean was a much softer person than he maybe should have been. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and quickly dialed 911. Dean told the operator on the line that Brian had passed out in the kitchen and that they needed help. As the woman spoke to him, as if to calm him, Dean pressed the phone into his shoulder and pulled back to look down at his boyfriend. "Sam? Are you hurt?" He asked in a quiet whisper, mind already turning over what to say to get Sam the needed help.

Sam said nothing, simply shook his head knowing if he said he was hurt someone would take him away from Dean. He was still trying to catch his breath and leaned back against Dean heavily, eyes wide with fear.

Everything seemed to pass in a weird blur that Dean only noticed in bits and pieces. He stayed on the line with the operator until the ambulance arrived. Jane let the men inside and Dean shifted himself and Sam out of the way to the far corner of the room. All Dean could guess was someone had heard either Sam or Jane scream because police came along with the paramedics and the house was suddenly flooded with people it seemed and the shake of Sam's shoulders was only intensified.

"Son? Are you two alright?" The police officer stopped beside him, bending slightly to stare down at them.

Dean's arms around Sam tightened and he nodded swiftly, unsure what to say. "Yeah, we just, yeah, it's okay."

The officer looked reluctant to let the question drop but Dean was saved in the next moment by Jane stepping up to him. "Sir? Could I just talk to you for a moment?" She asked quietly and pulled him to the side.

They had wheeled Brian on a gurney out of the kitchen by this point, not that Dean cared in the slightest. As far as he was concerned the man could never recover from whatever the boy had done to him. He deserved it.

Dean watched Jane and the officer's eyes drift toward them and away and that unpleasant feeling in Dean's stomach grew. "Sam?" Dean whispered, cupping the boy's chin and tilting his head back slightly. "Hey, it's okay Sam. It's over. Brian's not going to hurt you ever again alright? Sam? Can you hear me?" Dean wasn't reassured by the look on Sam's face, like he was only moments from shutting down completely.

Sam blinked slowly, his eye was starting to ache and he lifted his fingers to poke at it gently. Wincing he dropped his hand to Dean's chest and sighed softly. "Can we go home now? I wanna go home," Sam whispered so quietly he could barely hear it himself. He couldn't stop shaking and was starting to ache everywhere - but more than anything he wanted out of that damn house, away from anything that would remind him of Brian. "M..My back pack and my picture."

"Okay Sam, yeah. We'll go home," Dean pushed up to his feet, tugging Sam with him and holding him tucked securely under his arm. "Sam, you go upstairs and get your things, I'll make it so we can leave alright?" He curled his fingers around Sam's arms softly and gently rubbed. "It’s alright, just get everything and we'll go." Dean didn't even have to dip down anymore to look into Sam's eyes. If he were honest he had to tilt his head up slightly.

It was almost painful to watch Sam leave the room and head up the stairs. His steps were slow and hand Dean sucked in a deep breath before turning toward the officer and Jane. They were still talking quietly and Dean stepped up to them, clearing his throat. "Excuse me, sorry, um, is it alright if Sam and I go? To my place I mean."

The officer and Jane exchanged looks before the man nodded. "Yeah, alright. But let me get your address. And your phone number. We're going to need to talk to both yourself and Sam and I can pass along to the social worker where Sam is."

Dean didn't like the idea of the social worker turning up to take Sam but Jane had his information, there would be no hiding from the world in that sense. He took the pad of paper and the pen the man offered and wrote out his information before handing it back. By the time he finished Sam was waiting at the bottom of the steps as if he'd already had his things packed beforehand. Like it had been when Sam first came to live here.

"Ready?" He asked quietly and Sam simply nodded. Dean wished there was a magical way to make the pained look on Sam's face to go away. He settled with taking the boy's backpack and hooking it over his shoulder before tucking Sam under his arm and leading him out of the house.

"Do I get to stay with you?" Sam blinked over at Dean, good arm slipping around his boyfriend's waist. Sam didn't want to be anywhere else; he wanted to be at home with Dean. Dean had _been_ his home since shortly after they'd met - and that's where Sam wanted to be.

Pulling Sam in tightly, Dean nodded. "Yeah, tonight for sure. We'll make it work Sam, I promise." He sighed softly and led Sam swiftly away from the house and the flashing lights still shining out front.

-=-=-=-

It only took a few minutes to get back to their place but it seemed as if Sam had lost all energy for it. Dean was almost carrying him by the time he shouldered the door open. It was odd, seeing his apartment now in the wake of everything. On his kitchen table was the birthday cake he'd bought complete with sixteen candles and three different packages in real wrapping paper. None of that really mattered now though of course.

"It's okay Sam, we're here now," Dean whispered soothingly and led the boy to the couch, helping him sit slowly on the cushions before rushing to get a towel full of ice from the freezer. Within a minute he returned and gently set the towel on Sam's wrist. "Do you want some pain medicine?" Dean murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind Sam's ear.

Sam looked up and met Dean's gaze, smiling slightly and nodding. There were aches beginning all over his body but his wrist was the worst, it was like a dull throbbing burn even under the ice. "Yeah, my wrist.." Sam's hand hovered over the mark on his neck where he was certain he could still feel Brian's mouth. "Dean?" He tugged the collar of his shirt down slightly, "is it just a bruise?" He almost couldn't bear the idea of having marks on him from Brian.

There was only the slightest impression of teeth and Dean was certain they'd wear off within a few hours. "Yeah, just a bruise." He sighed softly and cupped Sam's cheek. There was still the faintest impression of a hand mark there and it turned Dean's lips down into a frown. "You're never going back there Sam, okay? Even if we have to run away," Dean bristled at the fact that Sam had suffered at all. It wasn't fair.

Letting go of his t-shirt Sam rubbed at his eyes for a few moments. "They'll send me someplace else now," he said. Sam had all but given up, the past few months had been so hard and now everything they'd worked toward would be taken away from them. "Jane will - she's - she's probably telling them now." He closed his eyes for a few moments, "I should have been smarter, this is my fault." Finally looking back into Dean's eyes Sam reached up and cupped his boyfriend's cheek. "I'm sorry, Dean."

"Listen to me," Dean curled both his hands around Sam's neck, thumbs sliding across his jaw. "This is _not_ your fault. You didn't do this. And we're not letting them take you away, we'll figure out something alright? I promise you this; I'm not letting you go. Not ever again." Dean brought him close and gently pressed a kiss to his lips. "Don't you ever think this is your fault alright? I promise, it's not." Dean gently kissed him once more, shifting back enough to slide a hand through his hair.

Sam's hand fell from Dean's cheek to curl over his boyfriend's wrist. He nodded slowly and shifted his aching wrist. "What a shitty birthday," Sam tried to joke but it came out sounding entirely too real and he dropped his eyes again. "Can I lie down for a while?" Sam glanced longingly down the hallway. "I'm really tired." And, he _really_ wanted the day to be over.

"Yeah," Dean nodded and stood, helping Sam up. "I'm just going to put some things away. And I'll get you some medicine and some water." Dean hated not knowing what to do to make things better for his boyfriend, and he _hated_ Brian for ruining this night for them. It wasn't fair. Dean headed for the kitchen and grabbed a cup, filling it with water and setting it on the counter top while he grabbed the medicine and twisted the bottle open.

Sam hovered by the couch, eyes following Dean as he moved around and he noticed the table. "You got me a cake," he said. Sighing, Sam felt tears well in his eyes again and he smiled sadly. "It's really, well," he shrugged then winced, "that's... thanks." Sam had never had a birthday cake for himself, he'd had shared ones with other kids at other houses but this was just for him. Biting down on his bottom lip Sam sniffed, standing there by the couch and cradling his wrist.

"It's kind of lame, now that I think about it," Dean muttered and shrugged, carrying the pills and water glass over to Sam. "I wish all of this had never happened, especially on your birthday." Dean offered the pills to Sam, smiling sadly. "I just wanted today to be special for you."

Reaching out Sam took the pills and threw them in his mouth then took the water and drained half the glass. "Maybe we should have a piece of cake," Sam murmured. Padding over to the table Sam sat down gingerly and rested his aching wrist on the table. "Cut us a piece? We could share..." his voice trailed off and he slumped down a little in the chair. His sixteenth birthday should have been good, should have been Dean and a cake and "presents," he whispered.

Smiling slightly Dean nodded and stepped across the kitchen to get a plate, fork and knife. "Have you eaten anything? Dinner wise?" Dean hesitated next to the cake, not wanting to cut it with the candles still untouched. "I think this is the part where you're supposed to blow the candles out. But I'm not singing you happy birthday, I suck at singing." He was trying to make Sam smile; he didn't have a problem admitting that.

"Can we light them?" Sam smiled slightly over at Dean and leaned a little closer. "I wanna make a wish." Sam propped his chin up on his good hand and stared down at the cake. _Chocolate_ , Sam's favorite and it even said _Happy Birthday Sam_. Glancing back up at Dean, Sam smiled again.

Caressing Sam's cheek for a moment Dean smiled and nodded, crossing the room once more to get the lighter from the junk drawer. He lit up all the candles and smiled softly before pulling up the chair beside Sam and dropping down. Before the boy could blow the candles out he caved and burst out in a slightly off tune version of the birthday song, complete with a loud kiss on Sam's good cheek when he finished. "Now, blow them out and make a wish."

Sam laughed quietly; leaning hard against his boyfriend then leaned down to blow the candles out. All the flames flickered out and Sam turned to Dean. "Guess I get my wish." He sniffed and shifted the ice to a different part of his wrist. "Wanna share a piece?" Sam did his best to smile, forget how much everything was hurting and just focus on what he might just have a chance at now; a life with Dean.

Dean knew his boyfriend well enough by this point to catch that most of this was a front. He nodded and began to pull the candles from the cake, setting them to the side before cutting a piece for him and Sam to share. "It's okay if you'd rather just lay down Sam, I can just lay with you, we don't have to have cake," he said even as he set the piece on the plate and offered Sam one of the forks.

Tilting his head slightly Sam leaned over and pressed his lips to Dean's cheek. "It's my birthday, just a little then I'll go and lay down." It was strange sitting there at the table, disconnected somehow from what had gone on earlier. All the aches were there in Sam's body but he couldn't even begin to start understanding everything yet. Grabbing a forkful of cake Sam closed his lips round the fork and then chewed slowly. "S'good," he mumbled as he picked up some more and held his own fork up to Dean's mouth.

Leaning forward Dean wrapped his hand around Sam's on the fork and pulled the cake off, rolling the taste around his tongue. "It is good," he agreed as he sat back, slowly dropping his hand. "Sam," he whispered, dragging the name out as he considered all the things he could try and say that wouldn't really make anything better. "I'm sorry, I should have gotten there sooner," he slowly shook his head, staring down at the piece of cake.

Sam's brow furrowed and he picked up some more cake on his fork, hesitated then dropped the fork to his plate as confusion spread across his features. Turning to face Dean he tilted his head a little, "I didn't call you. How? How did you know to come?"

"Oh," Dean scrunched his face up slightly and looked across the room toward the living room. Pushing up he crossed the room quickly and snatched the discarded newspaper before carrying it back over to Sam, holding it out as he dropped back in the seat. "I saw this when I was unpacking the last box."

Taking the piece of crumpled newspaper Sam glanced over it quickly, "it's him." The strangest sensation ran down Sam's spine like somehow - there was more at work here than either of them knew.

"Maybe," he looked over at Dean, "he really was trying to help." It comforted him somehow, thinking that they might not have been as alone in all this as they'd felt. Dropping his eyes to the piece of cake Sam pushed it around a little with his fork before picking up some more and putting it in his mouth.

"Did you see him? The little boy. God, Sam, his arm was like... _in_ Brian. I think he was killing him, or trying too." Dean shuddered slightly and shook his head, pushing up from his chair once more to get himself a glass of water. "I think he was trying to help. Brian had you... well, the ghost stopped him right? He saved you." Dean thought back, almost a year ago now, to when they'd first seen the ghost in the attic. He never imagined it would lead to this.

"You saved me first." Sam stared down at the table and smiled. "Dean? No matter what - I wouldn't change anything." He looked over at Dean, "you know that right? This whole mess... it got me you." Pushing his hair off his forehead nervously, Sam shifted back in his chair and sighed.

Smiling sadly Dean nodded, "yeah, I know." He stood and pulled Sam up from the chair and into his arms, squeezing softly. "I love you Sam, we're going to get through this and you're going to be here with me, always." They'd have to knock Dean out and tie Sam up to get him to let go of the boy now.

Sam nodded against Dean's shoulder and felt so bone-achingly tired he swayed a little. "Can we go and lay down? Can I open my presents tomorrow?" Sam smiled a little as he pulled back and slipped his fingers into Dean's hand. "C'mon," he tugged gently even though he was half sure that Dean was helping to hold him up.

Trailing along with Sam, Dean suppressed his sigh, helping Sam into the bedroom. They didn't speak; Dean simply pulled Sam close and gently pulled his shirt off, tossing it into the hamper. He removed his own shirt next, sending it after Sam's and reaching out for his jeans. Dean was gentle with his movements, gingerly removing Sam's jeans, socks and shoes. "Lay down," he murmured, pulling the covers back on the bed and stepping back to kick off his own shoes and socks, sliding out of his jeans.

Hooking his fingers under the waistband of his boxers, Sam shoved them down until he could let them drop to the floor then climbed into _their_ bed. The sheets were soft and smelled like Dean and Sam knew that he was home again. Curling onto his side Sam watched as Dean got undressed, "c'mon, s'cold," he murmured.

Chuckling softly, Dean dragged his own boxers down before sliding onto the bed beside his boyfriend, curling into his side. "M'cold too," he whispered, and squeezed Sam's middle. "Gotta warm me up." He pressed his lips to Sam's shoulder, breathing in his scent.

Overcome with the urge to feel Dean, Sam groaned softly and kissed Dean's temple, his cheek and pushed until his boyfriend turned into his kisses. Dean's lips were soft and warm and he tasted like chocolate cake but more importantly the kiss was familiar and gentle. Moaning softly at how much he needed the connection Sam struggled to get closer. His wrist twisted a little and he sucked in a breath and shifted it - not wanting Dean to move away.

"Hey, it's okay," Dean breathed, and stroked a hand down Sam's back slowly. "It's you and me now alright?" He exhaled quietly and pulled Sam forward, gently pressing kisses along his skin and over to his mouth. "Love you okay?" Dean murmured into Sam's lips, deepening the kiss for an extended moment, half rolling onto him to give Sam some of the weight and pressure that he knew seemed to comfort him.

Looping his good arm around Dean's neck Sam shivered as pleasure and warmth began to replace the tension in his body. "Dean," he whispered his boyfriend's name and strained up trying to kiss him harder. He let his injured arm fall to the side and felt Dean's hands slip under him, pulling him in closer.

"I got you," Dean whispered, and kissed his boyfriend harder, reassuring him in this only way he knew how. They kissed for long minutes, skin rocking together in a slow and steady motion. "C'mon, I know you're tired, let's get some sleep," Dean rolled onto his side before he could get too caught up in the moment and pulled Sam against his chest, holding him as tight as possible without hurting him.

Sam draped his sore arm over Dean' side Sam melted against his boyfriend's body and burrowed into his neck. He was getting so tall now, but Dean was broader, heavier and Sam loved the weight. Sam just loved everything about the man in front of him; and he'd watched that happen, watched Dean become a man. Smiling, Sam sucked gently on Dean's neck as he breathed slowly and surely.

Stroking a hand through Sam's hair and down his back, Dean sighed softly and let himself believe that this was their time. They'd get to be together and hopefully this would be for the long term. Chances were there would be things to be dealt with, and maybe even a slew of legal things to deal with but Dean would deal with it. And he'd keep Sam here. No matter what. "Night Sammy," he whispered, smiling at the warmth on his neck.

-=-=-=-

The boys became aware very slowly of how events around them had played out. After a few days had passed with no contact from Family Services or Jane, Dean had decided that he should call her.

Sam had resisted. Still healing from Brian’s attack, perhaps mentally even more so than physically, he wanted nothing to do with the Wendells. After a conversation which consisted primarily of soothing words from Dean – Sam finally agreed to see Jane.

She was a changed woman when she arrived at Dean’s apartment. Both boys could see that her naivety was gone and there was something sharper about her, colder. Sam refused to budge from Dean’s side while she was there, fingers curled possessively over Dean’s forearm like he still believed someone would try to separate them. It was, after all, a very real fear.

Jane’s voice was soft when she began her story and she did her best to make eyes contact with Sam and Dean. Sam would always avert his eyes at the last moment, still unable to see Jane as existing without Brian.

Jane told them about Joshua. He’d been about fourteen when he’d arrived to stay with them; a small boy who seemed much younger. Jane had cared very much for him and spent as much time with the boy as she could. Joshua had blossomed in their home, she’s said, blossomed from a timid little boy to a vibrant young man and the house was full of laughter.

Jane’s brow had furrowed as she spoke – the joy on her face as she remembered Joshua soon replaced by something unsure, almost frightened.

At the start of his second year with Brian and Jane – Joshua had begun to change. Jane felt as though she was watching everything in reverse. The boy became sullen at first, angry and then he withdrew to the point of being almost unresponsive.

Jane took Joseph to his case worker, a doctor and even to a child psychologist but, she claimed, _everyone failed him._

The doctor asked about bruises on Joseph’s wrists and his chest. Sam flinched almost unconsciously and Dean simply tightened his hold on his boyfriend. It was as difficult a story for them to hear as it was for Jane to tell.

Joshua’s bruises were explained away, rough housing at school, playing soccer. Joshua’s personality changes were justified by the fact that he was in foster care, abandonment issues and so on.

And still, Joshua had withdrawn further. By the time he’d been with Jane and Brian for a year and a half he no longer even responded to Jane’s warmth, the way she tried to care for him. It was like something inside him had died.

There were tears on Jane’s cheeks. It was obvious she had loved the boy and obvious that she carried a tremendous amount of guilt.

The story of Joshua’s death began simply with Jane whispering, “I didn’t know, Sam. I loved Brian so much that I wanted to believe… wanted to support him.”

Joshua had been upstairs in his room, Jane in the kitchen and Brian upstairs, she’d thought in their bedroom, and everything had happened all at once.

As Jane had walked out into the hallway she’s seen Joshua teetering on the top step almost as though he was hanging there – and in fact, he was. Brian’s fist was almost obscuring the boy’s wrist and Joshua dangled there for a moment before yanking his arm free and then tumbling down the stairs.

There were tears on Jane’s face but neither Sam nor Dean moved to comfort her; it was her guilt to bear. _She’d known something was wrong_ then just as she’d known something was wrong with Sam.

She just couldn’t bring herself to believe that Brian was the type of man who could hurt anyone, let alone a young boy. But there it was. She told the boys she had no explanation for what it was inside her that made her so blind or just frozen – but it was no excuse.

The more she spoke, the longer she stared at Sam the heavier he sank into Dean’s side. There was a fond smile on her face as she watched Dean comfort Sam and she told them she’s had suspicions long before Brian that they cared a lot for each other. When Dean asked her why she didn’t say anything she simply replied that love, gentleness of any kind shouldn’t be punished. She spoke about how in some strange echo of the past she watched Sam grow and change, he smiled more and grew more confident and whenever Dean was near Sam was happy. She had known, she said, that Dean would protect Sam even if her mind hadn’t then been able to acknowledge that there was something to protect him from.

Joshua had died of the injuries he had sustained in the fall and an investigation of Brian had turned up nothing of any significance. No charges were ever laid and Jane had tried to believe in her husband.

When she’d seen how terrified Sam was, when she’s seen Joshua that day everything had fallen into place in her mind. She’d confronted Brian when he was still in the hospital. He’d lied, of course, said Sam h ad tried to seduce him but she knew it wasn’t true. One look at Sam that day in the kitchen – clinging to Dean - had told her everything Brian said was a lie.

She’d done what she could to make amends although she assured the boys she knew it would never be enough. She’d gone to the police and told them what she’s seen the day Joshua died, the look on his face, the fear. There wasn’t much that would be done but she had to do it.

She made sure Sam and Dean understood that she would give Family Services no information if Sam simply wanted to stay with Dean. She said she knew there was no better place for them to be than together. If Sam wanted to make the move official Jane said she would support him in a bid for early emancipation from foster care. She said he would likely win with Dean’s support and hers – especially seeing as their apartment was so close to her house.

Brian, she assured them would not be returning to the house. Her marriage to him was over and if Sam wanted to press charges she would do whatever she could to help.

And, then it seemed as though she had run out of words. She simply crossed her arms and hugged herself asking if the boys had any questions.

Sam surprised Dean by finally speaking to ask Jane if she would be okay. _She_ surprised both boys by smiling warmly and telling them that she thought she would.

Once Jane was gone and Dean was back at Sam’s side on the couch they were silent for a while both processing what they’d hear. “Does this mean we’ll be okay?” Sam finally asked, “We can stay together?” His eyes were wide and glassy as he stared at Dean.

A slow smile curled Dean's lips up and he nodded, cupping Sam's jaw. "Yes. God, I can't believe it. I... this is good. We're gonna be okay," Dean dipped in to bring their lips together, sighing in relief. Jane's story was still swirling through his minds but Dean remained comforted by the idea that they were going to be together for here on out.

Pulling himself up with his good hand Sam shifted so he was eye to eye with Dean. "It's my home? Here..." Sam glanced around slowly then settled his eyes back on Dean's face. "I want it to be official," Sam said firmly. "I..I don't want anyone changing their mind or - or - being able to make me go somewhere later. Okay?" He hadn't really been asking he realized and softened his expression.

"Yeah okay, we'll call Jane later and figure out what we need to do to get you legally emancipated." Dean smiled, pulling Sam onto his lap and curling his fingers around his boyfriend's neck. "And yes, this is your home. Always with me." Dean brought him down, brushing their lips together softly.

Shifting closer, Sam finally smiled and it spread quickly across his face. "M'getting too tall for this," he spoke against Dean's lips and felt the tingle of his own words vibrate softly. "Gonna be taller than you soon," Sam licked Dean's bottom lip then rubbed the end of his nose against the man's cheek. Draping his arms over Dean's shoulders Sam shifted his aching wrist. They'd wrapped it in a tensor bandage that morning after a brief session of bickering about how to determine if it were broken. Sam had finally relented and agreed to go to the hospital if it hadn't begun to feel better in a couple of days. The whole situation made him laugh softly as he trailed kisses across Dean's freckled cheeks.

"Never too tall for this," Dean protested and pulled Sam in, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and dragging it out with him as he fell back. "So Sam, you gonna be my permanent live in boyfriend? It means you'll have to cook for me, I kind of suck at it." Dean grinned and rubbed his fingers along Sam's thighs, slowly massaging against the denim.

Sam smiled and kisses the end of Dean's nose. "You very _much_ suck at cooking." Brushing his lips across his boyfriend's Sam smiled slightly - breathing getting a little shallower, "you're remarkably good at other things." He felt his own lips twitching as he tried not to grin. It was like being on a roller coaster ride - everything he'd been through with Brian - and then this - like the ultimate reward for all they'd been through. "If you keep me happy," he sucked on a patch of skin just below Dean's ear, "I'll cook for you."

Chuckling softly Dean's head fell to the side and his fingers slid along Sam's back, tucking under the waistline. "Mm, I think I can do that. Can think of lots of ways to keep you happy." Dean's head rolled back onto the couch cushion and he shifted up into his boyfriend's body.

"I think one of us should start looking for a new job," Dean said suddenly, pulling back enough to peer at his boyfriend. "So we can tell everyone we're boyfriends. I'm kind of done with hiding it." He smiled softly.

"Okay," Sam was much more interested in Dean's collar bone than he was in talking about jobs. Biting his way along the bone, lapping at the flesh Sam muttered to Dean. "What you... wanna do for a career?" Dean's skin was smooth, warm and Sam ran his tongue back along it before kissing a path back up Dean's neck and down his jaw to his lips. "Hmm?" He pulled back, gazing into Dean's eyes.

Dean had lost himself in the pleasure of the kisses for a long moment and he blinked slowly up at his boyfriend. "I um, what? Career?" He hadn't given much thought to a career, the future had been mainly all about Sam and when they would get to be together. "I don't know... you gonna go into art? Um, maybe I could do like... god Sam, am I supposed to have brain power when I can _feel_ your cock through your jeans?" Dean groaned slightly, hands sliding back to his thighs and dipping down between.

Sam stifled his own moan by catching Dean's mouth with his and kneeling up so his body was pressing Dean back against the couch. He rolled his hips forward to get some friction arms curling round Dean's head for a few moments. So hard he was aching, he settled back down on Dean's lap again, restless, fingers pulling at the buttons on his boyfriend's shirt. "Need two hands," he muttered.

Chuckling softly Dean helped Sam by undoing his buttons and shrugged out of the shirt, tugging at his boyfriend's shirt and pulling it off. "C'mon, let's go enjoy the bed," he pulled at Sam, lifting him, sliding them off the couch and standing. "I think I owe you a nice long birthday present," he grinned and hooked his fingers in Sam's belt loop, dragging him down the hallway to the bedroom.

Laughing quietly Sam trailed along, " _our_ bed," he muttered as his hands slid up Dean's broad back.

"Our bed," he agreed and swept Sam up into his arms, bringing him in for a long, leisurely kiss.


End file.
